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Panda Boy Nov 2017
The one thing  i
hate
is me

because  i
think  i

am  not                    
like   them

yet that
is the thing
i love
the most
O.D.D
Lynx Nov 2017
Roses are red
Three comes before four
Do you want to know what goes on in my head?
It's an absolute war
Middy Nov 2017
age 3
fighting around me
hurting words i could never understand
confused teacher
confused students
while i just wore a smile
the words
the pain
the shatter of a globe
a yell
a scream
something i didn't mean
when i was little, someone broke a globe. i was blamed when others played with the globe.
what that all me? i still don't remember
Middy Nov 2017
oh curse the liars
the ones around me
who claim they love me
curse you all **** it
i just want to fit in
and be myself at the same time
ah, that would be gift

curse it all
**** it all
all the ones who have cures
as if i'm a monster
a disapointment
a illness

oh so i am some deformity?
some kind of freak?
some kind of animal that screams
is that what i am now?

but i won't complain
i'll stay hidden like always
like a rush on energy
an outspoken voice
waiting to be set free
i understand all you people are so desperate for a cure for autism
but if you have not read my poem Home alone, you should
so you can realise that i'm perfectly normal despite my autism
i'm sorry. but please just stop
Adrian Newman Nov 2017
I wrap my fingers around the stem, and pick a flower
I crush it in the palm of my hand
And as I bring my palm up to my nose
I still don’t understand
Why death brings sorrow and happiness
Why no one cares
Until the candle of life is snuffed out
And never seen again?

I kick a rock along the road, and it scuttles into a ditch
My back and head hurt
From trying to process why
We’d kick someone till they quit.
I still don’t understand
Why we’re all so dissonant
We think it’s normal and acceptable
To mock or fake innocence.

I kiss someone’s neck, and they moan
I feel self-conscious
When some stare or even comment
On that person and I’s business.
I still don’t understand
Why pleasure is considered a luxury
I thought we all deserved
To feel relaxed and happy.

I walk alone at night, and I’m not scared
I keep that to myself
Because I’m expected to cower in terror
If I bump into someone else.
I still don’t understand
Why I’m expected to be afraid
Of walking whenever I want to
Cos men do that every day.

I put on a flattering outfit, I smile at the mirror
I sneak out the door
Cos if I’m around the wrong people
I get labelled as a *****.
I still don’t understand
Why I can’t be sexually free
When men are often like that
They’re ‘behaving normally.’

Sometimes I don’t understand anything, about anything
I’m often left confused
By the everyday events around me
I often feel spent and used.
I still don’t understand
Why this world won’t accommodate me
Instead it’s tirelessly tried
To force me into conformity.

4th November 2017
I wrote this after a little bit of frustration and mostly flashbacks to a few weeks ago when these things used to REALLY bother me more than they used to. I also have the added burden of being an autistic person who sees and experiences this reality more intensely than a neurotypical person, and this is stated very bluntly in the final stanza.
I hope you enjoy this personal slam style poem (my 2nd this year), and I'll be posting again soon :)
Middy Nov 2017
they lied to me
when they said
they'd be kind as princesses
and quiet as mice
but if it were true
why are my ears covered?
why am i crying?
why am i shaking like mad?
why am i running away,
escaping from everything?

why?
why do they do this?
my hands are still shaking
as i write on this tear stained page

my head is resting
(but not in peace)
on top of my aching arms
my eyes are shut tight
not opening or seeing

am i awake?
am i asleep?
am i alive or dead?

no one knows
not even i
who would care about me anyway
i wote this after a breakdown i had about my noise. i also am stressed due to issues at home. sorry for not writing guys
Panda Boy Oct 2017
I have disabled myself,
Thinking about you.
Forty three self induced bruises
to the head, to the head
Forty five, forty six

I got that vibe,
That feeling from you.
I start my appointment
At eight thirty two,
Thirty three, thirty four.

Forty eight, forty nine.

It is not the cure
That will help this,
But only you.
Thirty five, thirty six.

Fifty two, fifty three.

So I try to get you
Out of my head...

Fifty two, fifty three.
So that I can be free.

I have disabled myself
Thinking about you,
But now that I am free,
I don't know what to do.
Middy Oct 2017
This child
A school boy
Who can't stop
Moving and won't
Stop talking or saying
Stuff that's out of the topic
He will be a kind man who
Won't give up on his hopes
Or dreams he always has
He will often laugh and
Dance and moonwalk
Putting a smile on
Others' faces
But some will
Taunt him and
Cackle at his antics
Some will think he is
Mad, crazy or energetic
He will struggle through life
But he will climb mountains and
He will scream for millions to hear

......................He is smart....................
I'm writing in a few form today! Anyone like?
This was inspired after i met two people at a party a few days ago. One with ADHD and autism and the other with Aspergers. We both talked and it turns the man with ADHD was diagnosed only recently as an adult. They are both very kind people and the man with Aspergers is very clever and nice. Adding them here is a little way of saying a thanks for meeting them.
Middy Oct 2017
Everyone's talking in codes
In gabbled voices
In loud voices

What are they saying
When they say
A thing everyone laughs at
What do they call it?
A joke?
But...
I don't get it

Why do they waste words
On something they call banter
Code for hating, bullying
Rambling maybe
But it hurts none the less

I'm looking around
I can't understand a word
My ears are blocked
By my shaking hands

The jangling of a bracelet
The sound of music

What are these codes?
How do I speak like that?
How do I act like that?
The voices only give me
Questions and no answers
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