im looking for ways to forget you
but all I want to do is ******* text you

It's so easy for my friends to say that I should hate you.
The only reasons coming to their minds are
because you hurt me
because you lied
because you left

You've never hit me or beat me. But your words sure do have a right hook that has left more bruises than any hands could. The colors purple and blue have made a permanent home on my body. But no one ever saw them because they weren't visible to the naked eye. You knew they were there though, you knew and you kept hurting me

You said i love you like flipping on a light switch. It was something convenient for yourself and you knew how it turned me on. If only i had known you were lying.

I placed my heart in your hands thinking it was safe. But i what didn't know was that the reason they were so warm was because they were already a home to someone else. I didn't know. So i placed it neatly against your calloused palms and kissed it goodbye. It should have been safe with you. But i wasn't entirely worried until i saw you turn and run for the nearest exit. And i didn't break down until i saw who was waiting for you behind the door. You two took my heart like you'd struck gold; you never looked back.

They say i should hate you,
for hundreds of reasons.
But the twisted thing is, i've only ever come up with thousands explaining why i should still love you.

I've always heard that real love is putting someone else's happiness before your own
I've also heard that it's the most painful kind of love to feel;
it's hard and rough

this love reminds me of your hands in some weird way,
you saw calloused messes at the same time I saw a home for my heart
my heart and I moved in together you see
and it wasn't the roomiest of places but it was the first place I've lived in that actually felt like a real home

your happiness on the other hand was never in the same place as mine
we could sit around for hours and while I found comfort in staring into your eyes, you found ways to compare mine to your coffee
I saw my future in you
but you saw an escape route from all the pain you've been feeling from being alone too much

we were never in love,
oh no,
but we definitely could have been

I remember when I saw you hurt
I also remember how it hurt me to see you in such pain

And not the crimson streams and purples and blues etched on your skin, hurt
the kind of hurt that you thought only you felt.
But the thing is,
I understood.
I understood your pain more than I understood the back of my own **** hand

More often than not, I regret touching people because I ruin everything I touch and you were already broken enough
But for some unknown reason,
I touched you and you looked at me with only love in your eyes,
and you told me ever since we met, you began to hurt a little less

i texted you last night
i poured my ******* heart out to you
and you responded with a picture of you and her in bed that said "waking up next to my baby"
i don't think I've ever felt a pain like that
i wish i could hate you
i wish i could take back every ******* word I've ever said to you

i need to learn how to forget you
to let you go
because right now im hurting and i dont think i can ******* breathe without you

everyone always says i have them to talk to
but i only want you
and you only want her

so i need to lose you
i need you to tell me you hate me and that you want to never hear from me again
otherwise ill be stuck on you forever
im your own personal leech
and i need to be burnt off
for good.

i guess thats all i really ever wanted;
for you to be happy
but i didn't think that wanting your happiness meant cutting me out of your life

when i told you i had to go
i don't think you knew i meant forever