I am no stranger to living with this anger.
There are white-hot coals coals in my throat,
because Hell's been embedded in my heart.
An inner conflagration, which puts it all in danger.
The whole ******* time, my soul I did devote,
but you took my everything, then tore it apart.
I can feel the fire surging in my veins,
every single second of every single day.
There's nothing I can do to drench this rage,
because I chased your starlight all in vain.
All the lights went out, and soon I lost my way.
I opened my eyes, but found myself in this cage.
I lie awake at night with fury gripping my brain.
Inside I seethe--hoping dreams to take me away,
but I wake up to the nightmare of another day.
Fervid animosity makes me wish I was insane,
but no straightjacket would silence voices in my gray
matter, or even start to help me feel like I'm okay.
Where I should see skies of blue, instead they're red.
I'm cursed with storms and Smoldering Skies,
for leftover grace is tossed to the incinerator.
Transfuse me with enmity as I'm being bled.
I'd rather suffer that than look into your eyes,
because those furnaces are spite generators.
But, what's worse than this is what's beneath.
Beneath all the hatred and fickle flames
which wrack me with unforgiving venom,
is the pain and hurt that screams underneath.
You hurt me in ways that aren't worth the blame.
All I ever wanted was love you and know Heaven.
I shout to world in all my frustration
that I've been wounded and left for dead.
Angry, scorned, embittered, though I am--
it doesn't begins to measure up to my desperation.
I cry for so long that it starts to hurt my head,
and as this sorrow consumes, it's hard to stand.
I've never felt such melancholy before
and I'm not sure just how to cope.
I'll throw myself into bottomless depths of rage
because the anger separates me from my core--
the epicenter of my death of joy and hope.
Maybe one day, this story, I can turn the page.
You did this to me.