i may have accidentally
showed emotion today
oh dear, oh ****
this is not good
and i laugh to myself on the way home
because what right do i have
to be so cynical?
but the fact remains
that i looked away when somebody tried
to guess and maybe almost got it right
or at least my brain thinks that if i were alive
they would be
right on, dead centre
and the idea that somebody could fumble
their way into a place locked to me
and intellectually play darts with this alienated
part of existence,
well that is a little freaky
and so i am still up, past midnight
feeling shaky but calm
because of course i know
that at this hour
nothing is real
unless i say it is

I write about it a lot,
but the truth is
love is fleeting.

Like a bird
that lands on a lamppost
it will remain for only a moment.
Before departing;
spreading it's wings
and flying to a new heart.

Find that stillness,
And dance to the sound.
Those thoughts, emotions so profound
With strings to tie our hearts to stay,
With knots to bound our every hate
With love to numb the pain away,
With every move to make tomorrow today.
So let the silence finally create,
Something precious,
Or somewhere to escape.

You told me that you used to be a king.
You showed me your crown but it was only a pile of ashes.
You showed me a history book, from an abandoned library, with your story ripped out from the seams.

I traced the edges of the pages and felt your past on the end of my fingertips.
I know it's been so long but the thought still brings you to your knees.

You said you had to watch the sky fall for hours and hours and hours that evening.
You were so close to the stars, and you told me how you used to talk to them during the night.
You used to live with them, you told me.

Everyone thought you were crazy but I could see in your eyes, they were family.
But you witnessed their deaths.
Wings couldn't help you
gravity has betrayed you.

It's time to stop holding your breath and just let it fall out.
Sweetness sings a lullaby you forbid to listen to.
You believe that nothing will ever be as sweet as your past.
No love can replace, for you lost all your brothers and sisters that night
so you have nothing to lose.
No secrets,
no family
just you.

Where are your wings now?
How can they save you now?
Left alone, barely able to stand on your own two feet.
You walk a thousand miles down a dirt road
finding hunger along the way.
You drink a gallon of water for the first time
so everything in the world stops and leaves you breathless.
You can't believe the feeling of pain and dwell in sorrow
over something, you can't control.
You set the world on fire but never knew how to use a match.
Now you're a nomad dreaming of meeting someone who will help you put out the flames
but instead, everyone glares at you while walking around in their ashes.

And if you knew what you know now nothing would have changed,
and everything would be in its place.
You wish to undo what has been done
but you have a heavy soul
surrounded by mountains and oceans.
So let the sun die down
and let the morning pour in hope of anew to come.

You used to be a beautiful angel
but now your grace has been ripped out.
Now you're a human
with ***** feet,
a hard soul,
broken wings,
and scarred and cut skin
you wish to just be left behind.
Let the wind take you and lead you
across the winding roads,
into the hands, you solely search for to help and to hold.
The only hands that can make you feel whole and holy,
even without a halo.

Unfortunately, the sun does set at night
and I am no longer able to see your face in the sunlight.
As I reach out my hands to find your cheeks
silk honey skin greets me.
You open your eyes and I see them perfectly.
They're blue like water that has frozen over
I see myself drifting away in the seas chillingly.

Sweetheart, don't leave the bed tonight.
Lose yourself in the sheets
and drown in all the oversized blankets.
It's too cold outside to be alone this time.

It's 10 pm and I want to stay here forever
I will not grow tired of you
It is not possible, you see I smile all the time when you're near.
Let's grow old to the grey,
Never let this get boring.
But for now, sleep with me here until the morning