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Suzanne S Aug 2017
I dream about cracking ice in Siberia
I think we left a man to drown
Dark chasm swallowing pale hands last
Not drowned but
Devoured by the sea
Absorbed in liquid night
I think we could have saved him
I think we didn't want to,

I dream we are still
Standing on the edge of new jagged cliffs
And the wind is a hail of bullets
Demanding entry to our bones
But we cannot move
I think we needed to watch him sink
Just another ripple in the wasteland,

I dream we are dark smudges on a plain of snow
No footsteps in the drifts
Nothing left behind
A sheet of glass between his hands and our feet
Does it matter that we are murderers if no one heard a sound?
I think quietly that it might.
Suzanne S Jul 2017
I

Polaris we called it,
The guiding star
That enticed us to map the world;
Not a face, but a fire that launched
a thousand ships.

What wings we built we used at will
To launch higher than any bird
could dream of
And go higher still with eyes that orbit the edge of imagining.

Thousands of years spent in rocky dark with fear and spear alike
Transformed, unrecognizable,
the clock ticks our years away with the mechanical hands we gave it.

Time stretched transparent over us,
Knowing we would die tearing at death himself with metal teeth and ambrosia
for the sake of just one minute more:
And we were Gods;
Ancient and savage,
Invincible maybe.

II

Invincibility cannot last,
a lesson learned by frozen wonders, cracking into crystal shards that drift and drift and disappear.

Plumes of smoke rise where forests once thrived,
Armies felled in an instant to ash, and before the dust has settled
Tiny skulls are trampled underfoot by Big Plans.

White reefs lay as echo chambers,
Acres of empty homes and bursting graves,
A reminder of our power to give and take and take and take
Even colour itself is not safe.

How can we be Gods, if we were Gods at all?
Which have we discovered already within, and worshipped;
were we
Ares or Ouranous?
Dionysus drunk on wine laced with power,
we are titans,
With no prison left to put us in but the one we are creating for ourselves.

III

"Oh we were Gods" they'll cry "we were good"
But all kingdoms are built on bones, and ours will make a new foundation of wasted marrow and dust

Gods are made to be consumed,
Spat out half chewed and desperate,  Cringing in the face of some new burning vision
"Good" we croak "we were good" choking at our cremation, bleeding out the ashes

To Ashes, we are always falling
back to the ground
And I have been waiting millenia for my place in the dirt,
The God and the Fly and the wanton Boy;
The unholy triptych that once resided beneath the lacewing of my skin
loosed at last on the world,

The rough beast slogged out of Bethlehem
In ink that lit fires and crumbled civilizations,
"Son of God" we called him, and made mother's of ourselves,
Wailing and shaken in the lonely stable, forgetting what it means to be savage,
What it means to be gods of nothing at all.

IV

Savagery takes courage,
That inconceivable fearlessness of generations gone by,
A will to live that seems just out of our reach,
Fluttering like pages in the breeze  before the window closes,

And yet here we kneel,
In pools of blood deep enough to set ourselves adrift and never find the bottom,
nor resurface,
Acts of savagery pouring from our veins, the red mist of morning
on the eternal front,

Savages were chattel for the slaughter,
And we the pale faced executioner
In white hoods,
Spent years grinding savage away to something manageable and easily understood-
Even God's must make mistakes,

Yes we were ancient and savage,
On streets that used to know peace and nothing else,
Flaying them raw and asking why they dared scream
Fearing every tongue and every beat and every shadow,
Desperate to prove just how savage we could be.

V

They will find us some day,
In tombs long since forgotten by the world,
Concrete cracked and ivy winding across the words that have faded into dust,
And be revolted by the barbarism of our beliefs

They will tell of how we destroyed ourselves,
Ripping each other apart in the name of some imagined thing,
And they will wonder how we could do it,
Like it was nothing, like it was easy

We will be remembered as an example
Of the heinous past of a sparkling future;
While flowers will grow in no man's land
And our lives become artefacts of a bygone age

Still they will clear the rubble and start anew,
As all those who have come before have done,
And hope to do better than we did
When we were Gods;
Ancient and savage,

Invincible, maybe.
Suzanne S Jul 2017
The milk spills
and spills
and spills,
The table still set in neat little rows -
too long for the runner -
Dripping onto chairs and floor in swathes of ivory,
But the milk is always spilling in this house
Running from eyes and mouths and ears -
This is what it means to grow up,
Crying years of spilled milk
Like they'll help fill the seats with warm bodies
Or light the candles's stumpy wicks,
Where you sleep just to keep the weeping at bay,
in the hopes that somehow,
it's all just a dream,
But you wake up every morning at 7 on the dot
with milk crusted in each eye and bottles surrounding the bed,
milk teeth standing guard beneath the pillows,
Like maybe you were a mother,
once,
or a child,
Like you still are.
Suzanne S Apr 2017
Sun
I have never felt
more beautiful
than when the sun
has her hands
wrapped around my
throat,
a necklace of golden light,
dribbled like honey
across the ocean of my veins,
her hands tear
at the night,
always reaching for the moon
but never finding her,
doomed to fall
as another 24 carat ribbon
until the curtains are shut
Suzanne S Mar 2017
Nakedness is  wearing your skin like a ghost
and haunting all those quiet places
that you used to hide in
before you knew
the beauty of
the light
Suzanne S Mar 2017
You are the sun,
Calling lowly to the galaxy,
Tragic and celestial,
40 billion light years from the closest star,
And the moon rings like a bell;
Earthquake vibrations across the vacuum of space,
Echoes roll over your skin, just whispers of what once was,
Like a house that has already been burned down,
Alarm still shrieking into the shell
That this is danger,
This is living,
But the moon is too far to hear a warning over
the bell tolls,
An angelus to Sirius and Orion and
Pyxis,
And the sun is farther still, drowning in a sea of silent stars,
Baying softly of loneliness and terror to the empty night,
I am the moon,
You, the sun.
In the end, we are all just houses,
Waiting to be burned down.
Suzanne S Feb 2017
I found a heart on my doorstep
And rushed to bring it inside
To put it in a new ***,
With good soil from the nice patch of grass,
And fresh water from the tap,

Wondering

who could ever have thought
That I was responsible enough
To care for something like this
When they could see all the planters by my door
Have withered away to dust?
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