there's something
about you
that makes me
wish that i
could have
the courage
and just say
'hi'

it's hard
to read
you
through
your eyes
because you
keep them
stormy and
void of any
emotion,
dark and
bitter,
almost keeps
me up at
nights,
trying to
remember
the bridge
of your nose,
the shape of
your eyebrow
and your grey
eyes,
nothing
crosses over
your face
except
a tiny snarl
that slips past
your lips,
if only
i knew
how you felt
when i
told you
i loved you.

do you feel  anxious?
can you still eat without
having the thought
that maybe you'll
swell up and
can't get past door
or hearts?
wanting to be like
paper but
you never thought
that being paper
was fragile
and that people
could write all
over you.
what you needed
was thick skin
and a thick heart.

do you feel scared?
when you hear your
name, thinking
are they talking
about your scars?
your imperfections?
your breakouts and your
bruised skin.
can you look at someone
straight in the eye
without thinking
that they're staring
at that ugly mole
and aren't even
focusing on you,
so you look down
at their feet
but darling,
you should look
at them with pride
because your scars,
marks and pimples
are not an end
but they are
a journey,
a story
of what
you've gone
through.

do you feel stressed?
when compare your body
to a model or an idol
who has a tiny waist,
yet she's curvy,
do you measure your *******,
your waist and looking
for solutions to looking
like your 'dream girl'
that you dream about,
the one who's
so confident
so beautiful
so perfect?

have you ever thought,
that maybe
your dream girl
was actually inside of you?
she came to birth with you
she opened her eyes with you
she said her first word with you,
she walked with you.

and she'll dream with you
oh she'd care for you,
look out for you,
crave for you
but most of all
she'll love you.

you are your dream girl.

next time
when you
tell me
that you
love me.
don't look
at the ground,
your hands
your shoes
or at the sky
but next time
tell me
that i mean
the most
to you
with no
limits
no boundaries
no buts
in between.
next time
look at me,
at my face,
through my eyes
and smile at me
like you
sometimes do
with happiness.
because seeing you
makes me
feel
happy.

i love it
how you
gently
run your fingers
along my body
as if i'm a canvas
and you're painting me
in red love,
orange trust,
yellow happiness,
green jealousy,
blue euphoria,
and purple
like royalty,
you stare at
me like i'm
worth looking
at, like i'm art,
oh how you carefully,
run your fingers on
my cheek and
whisper to me
ever so softly
"i love you."
but you're
just the paintbrush,
and you're
going to be
finish
this
masterpiece.

do you feel this love?
where i
can't sleep
but instead
i'm dreaming
about you
in a hazy way,
and how maybe
you might be doing
the same as me
or maybe i stare at the
ceiling and these four walls
feeling like you know
how much i miss you even though
i just saw you a few hours ago
even though it felt like forever,
is this love?
when i can't eat
but not that i'm not hungry
but because i wan't to be like the girls
you like who are skinny and polite,
not loud and who eat a lot,
but i know it's for a good cause
because in the end,
i get you.
is this love?
when you tell me what to wear
or get mad if i say something to your friends
or if any one of them get close to me,
my friends would say you're being protective
but there's something different,
something that's more possessive
and that something
scares me.
oh pray,
please do tell me,
is this love
that we're dealing with?

you faintly
smell like
coffee and
you keep
me up
all night,
thinking
of what we
could've been,
i can't focus
because
all i
ever
think about
is you,
the way
you laugh
the way
you smile
they way
your eyes
light up as
you see her.
i'll wait,
and until then
i'll be sipping
on some
strong
coffee,
trying to get
you
out
of my
system.