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Apr 2014 · 219
Drowning
pluie d'été Apr 2014
you used to tell me
to breathe
and i couldn't
around you

you couldn't
see why
because your hand
the one holding my head
underwater
was blocking
your view
Apr 2014 · 343
Untitled
pluie d'été Apr 2014
he always asks
why i am sad

he always asks
why i would choose the sadness
over happiness
every time

i don't want to be happy
completely
because i am
an echo of my soul
and there are parts of me
missing

abcd  g  j   m
Mar 2014 · 195
Untitled
pluie d'été Mar 2014
I found her weeping
Opposite the mirror
On the floor

She couldn't understand
How she would always love him
But never forget him

And I couldn't say
Because our voices
Were the same
Mar 2014 · 2.3k
Hands
pluie d'été Mar 2014
We pressed our palms together
And my fingertips
Grazed a third of yours

You wrapped your thumb
And little finger
Around my wrist
And said that you could come
To my wedding
Mine couldn't reach
Around yours

I should have seen
Straight away

We made promises
Under falling
Purple flowers
That kept getting stuck in my hair
Using the curves
In our pinkies
Instead of our souls

And we thought it would be enough
To use our hands
To make a heart
Representing our love
Couldn't we see
It was uneven?

When our words
Were too much
Erasing the maps
To our minds
We would reach out
Coming closer
Drifting apart
Why didn't we notice
Our bodies
Not lying beside our shadows
Underneath your cracking window
Mar 2014 · 393
The Pause Between Our Words
pluie d'été Mar 2014
Won't you hold my hand
We can play hopscotch
Across the cracking pavement
And write poetry
With the chalk
When we're done

You can kiss me
Under the flickering street light
If you think it's okay
And then dance slowly
To the music
The echo of the strings
Pulling up the moon
Makes

We can stop
When it gets too cold
And you can light another cigarette
Because I know you like the smell
Of smoke in my hair
And I love the way
The tip
Lights up
When you inhale
The pause
Between our words
Mar 2014 · 2.7k
One Day
pluie d'été Mar 2014
One day
I want to write a poem
That captures your soul
In the adjectives
Describing the sky

One day
I want to write a sentence
That you will carry
In your memory
Scarred and stained
For an infinity

One day
I want to write a short story
Of a guy
A lot like you
And a girl
A lot like me
With no lies
Only honesty
And a forever that lasted
Just a while

One day
I want to write a paragraph
About the sea in you
And the sea in me
And how we fell in
Each other
And never needed to come up for air

One day
I want to write a dictionary
With all of our own definitions
Of everyone else's words
It will start from the letter Z
And end on A
Because it will be easier
That way

One day
I want to write an essay
On how the sunlight
Made patterns on your skin
Even after you lied
And shadowed the constellations
Screaming honesty
Into the dark

One day
I want to write a novel
About the way your voice
And his voice
Sounded
Just before
You both were about to cry

One day
I want to write lyrics
For the song
I meant to sing to you
About the moon
And the sun
And how they dance
Whenever all of our eyes are closed
Even if it's just for a second
(Light
Always travels faster
Than sound)

One day
I want to write you a telegram
With someone else's hand
To tell you
How much I miss you
And how my heart
Is not in my chest anymore
Really-
It's shattered across the sky
Just for you to see

One day
I want to write you a letter
To tell you
That you didn't know what love is
And neither did I

But
I still love you
Mar 2014 · 189
i can't tell you
pluie d'été Mar 2014
i can't tell you
why i am afraid
only that i am

i can't tell you
why i miss you
only that i do

i can't tell you
how many times
i've awoken
crying
from dreams of you
only that i have

i can't tell you
of all of the wishes
i have made
i only that i always used to

i can't tell you
how much i love you
because if i do
then you should feel it too
Mar 2014 · 350
I Don't Want To Hear
pluie d'été Mar 2014
i don't talk about you
or ask about you

i don't want to hear
someone else saying your name
with a smile
or a frown

i don't want to hear
someone else telling me
what i only i
used to know

i don't want to hear
from someone else
that you're happy
though i hope you are

i don't want to hear
from someone else
that you're sad
though i hope you are
a little bit
too

i don't want to hear
your name
coming from my lips
or tumbling from my mind
but i still hear
my voice
after dreaming of you
and your eyes
whispering your name
Mar 2014 · 4.3k
i shouldn't
pluie d'été Mar 2014
i shouldn't still miss you
i shouldn't still have
this ache
in my soul
i shouldn't still love you
so much
the way i always did
but i still do
Mar 2014 · 201
Untitled
pluie d'été Mar 2014
i had to scrub
the initials of your name
off of my skin
but it stayed
scarred on my heart
even after the redness
had faded away
Mar 2014 · 4.0k
paper
pluie d'été Mar 2014
we are just the ghosts
of the trees above you

the ones that allow
the golden light
of the sun
to fall
scattered
on your bare skin

the ones that make
music
with the wind
never ending
and every thunderstorm

we are the ghosts
of the beauty
brown and scarred
bleached
to become white
and stained
heavy
with ink
the echoes of your speech
Mar 2014 · 296
the shadow of moths
pluie d'été Mar 2014
a hundred still bodies
on the floor
wooden
cracking
haunting me
with the ghosts
they leave behind

a powdery smudge
like a shadow
a fingerprint
pressing onto my eyes
seeping
with charcoal
into my mind

i open my window
to the night
i shut my window
to the night

i am unsure of which
one
i should do

should i let them
in
to see
to feel
the light
that they so long for
ending their lives
in quick ecstasy
their hearts shuddering
the way their wings
shiver
in its glow

or should i lock them out
keep them
in the ink of night
to long for
the thing they will always want?
Mar 2014 · 167
To Be
pluie d'été Mar 2014
i was writing a list
of things i ought
to be
and when i looked through
all the letters
joined together
falling in neat lines
i realized that i had written

"be a reflection of the sky"

i think
i have been reading to much poetry
i don't know what that means
Mar 2014 · 2.1k
Untitled
pluie d'été Mar 2014
i want my window
to pull me closer
keep me cool
with it's breeze
but it can't
because if it did
i would be even warmer
Mar 2014 · 157
untitled
pluie d'été Mar 2014
His lies hide with him
Underneath the shadow
Of the moon
Mar 2014 · 216
Instead
pluie d'été Mar 2014
there was a man
whose heart broke
as an echo of thunder
that fell across the sky

it was carried across the ocean
by a moving wind
racing to the warmth
of the sun
where she heard it
and fell in love with the sea
instead of the tears
he had wept
Mar 2014 · 200
3.
pluie d'été Mar 2014
3.
I cried
And I don't even love you.
Mar 2014 · 376
An Infinity
pluie d'été Mar 2014
what if you were empty
and i was empty too

and we lay together
for just one night
underneath a cracking sky?

swollen raindrops
would fall
and land on our smooth skin

you would lose the bet
that i thought i would win
and i'd whisper to you
my greatest secrets
and all my fears
and you would murmur
to me under a falling star
your own

and it would be enough
that one night
wouldn't it be?
it would be worth an infinity
because time
is just an illusion
and just one night
twelve hours
is forever
to me
when it's with you
Mar 2014 · 342
2.
pluie d'été Mar 2014
2.
your time
isn't mine

slipping through my fingers
the way it slips through
the curve in the glass
on your dresser

illuminated
by a shadow
your tears
fall like diamonds
heavy
and sharp

enlightening
the spilling
night sky
with the way you count each star
including the sun
before it has risen
Mar 2014 · 249
mary rose
pluie d'été Mar 2014
he moves his fingertips
around the rim
of the brown
glass bottle
waiting for it to sing
to him
the way she always used to

a genie
inhaling the scent
of chemistry
bonds formed
breaking
like his heart and soul
to hers

he presses a crumbling
cigarette
to his lips
takes a drag
holds his wrist in his hand
wishing it would stop trembling
why won't the world would stop shaking

smoke
stings his reddening gaze
and reminds him of the tea leaves
swirling
resting at the bottom of the broken tea cup
why won't you stay
he had asked her
again
and again
but she had left still
and he can still hear
her retreating footsteps
late at night
early in the morning
just about noon

the door slams
and he looks up in anticipation
mary rose?
Mar 2014 · 313
Please Don't Love Me
pluie d'été Mar 2014
you looking at me
the way i wish you would look
at her
your eyes
sweet and peaceful
please look away

your fingers
sought out reasons
to feel mine
to touch
my skin
and you tell me
all the things
a girl
wants to hear

please don't love me
the way you think you should
the way you think i should be loved
my heart has a wall
when it comes to you
and all the others
that aren't him
and i can't
love you back

this will only end badly
the more you come to see me
the more you whisper
what you feel
i don't want someone to need me
or laugh
at the stories i tell
that aren't funny

i don't want to be so apart of someone
that i can see myself
a reflection
on their lips
when they smile

you think i will bring you happiness
and safety
but i can't
bring those things to you
please don't love me

you are not him
and i am not her
Mar 2014 · 244
cold
pluie d'été Mar 2014
won't you stay
a little bit longer
he asks her
his fingers
wrapped around her wrist

she shakes her head
moves away
the night is over
and she can't help
but feel cold
Mar 2014 · 341
All Of My Favourite Sounds
pluie d'été Mar 2014
You are the train
Going past
At three o'clock in the morning
Making the window panes
Shiver

You are the rain
On my roof
Falling
Softly
Loudly
Recklessly
Echoing
The tracks of my heart

You are the wind in the leaves
Running their fingers
Over me
Green
Stained gold
By the paling
Descending sunlight

You are the waves of the ocean
Falling and falling
Grabbing onto
An idea
Onto a shore
Only to be sent away

You are the shots
Of a live
Imagination
Crashing
Beside me
Running

You are the whistle
From the steam
Filling the kettle on the stove
I still
Make sure there's enough water

You are the footsteps
Known by someone
So well
Coming up the stairs
Sure and safe

You are the sound of a whispered word
Into a lover's ear
Hypnotizing
It doesn't matter
What was just said

You are the pluckings
Of a guitar
On a cloudy morning
Soft
Swaying
Moving
Making me dance
In sadness

You are the sound of your voice
Wanting
Mar 2014 · 252
1.
pluie d'été Mar 2014
1.
you will never know
how close i came
to loving you again
Mar 2014 · 197
keep me
pluie d'été Mar 2014
capture my fingers
between yours

the cold doesn't feel
so bad
and the sky
is not so grey

whisper to me
your words
rhyming with the wind
music
to the ocean
poetry
to my heart

whisper
to me,
my sunlight
you keep me warm  and brave
Mar 2014 · 212
Hold It To My Ear
pluie d'été Mar 2014
I want to capture
The sound of your voice
In my palms
And hold it to my ear
Whenever I feel alone

I want to hear you
The way I used to long
For the voice of the sea

I feel
As if i could bow down
At your feet
Mar 2014 · 333
shattered
pluie d'été Mar 2014
shattered glass
on the floor
saving my mirror

i don't want
to be remembered
forever

tell me again
how we don't see
what we feel
Mar 2014 · 282
untitled
pluie d'été Mar 2014
The cushions
On my sofa
Were still warm
From your hands
After you left
Mar 2014 · 1.6k
don't close your eyes
pluie d'été Mar 2014
let me drown my sorrows
in your eyes
moving
above me

sunlight
shadows
taking turns to caress
our skin
the wind
stirring the leaves
in the autumn

don't close your eyes
you are
about to save me
Mar 2014 · 237
whisper to me again
pluie d'été Mar 2014
whisper to me
again
into the crook
of my crooked neck

tell me
how much you love me
let me bury
my face
in the fold of your arm

whisper to me again
i will press your hand
to my chest
stilling
you're breaking my heart
with your honesty

whisper to me again
tell me
how fragile you are
with your eyes
the words
coming from your lips
taint my memory
with the sweetest music
and i wish
that it would stop
Mar 2014 · 148
untitled
pluie d'été Mar 2014
If I am afraid
When you say that you love me
Then why I am I afraid when I think
That you don't?
Mar 2014 · 231
anyway
pluie d'été Mar 2014
press your fingers
to my eyes

i can't see anything
when i'm around you
anyway
Mar 2014 · 228
we will never
pluie d'été Mar 2014
trace an atlas
over my pale cheek

make a mark
for all the places
we will never see

consellations
that swear above us
how we can never be
shadow
the black cat
that you say
must be chasing me
Mar 2014 · 349
stars above your shoulders
pluie d'été Mar 2014
you're raking your fingers through your hair
again
scarring my heart
with the calmness in your eyes

your words tumble out
like the light that glints
on the top of the river
drowning me
in what they all think is fragility

your smile
is a tattoo that i wear imprinted
on my wrist
where you would kiss me
murmuring
how i smelt
like the rain
in summer

drag me under you
again
i don't mind being in the darkness
when there are stars
resting above your shoulders
Mar 2014 · 275
If I Had Loved You
pluie d'été Mar 2014
if i had loved you
the way i was supposed to
would you have never ceased
to love me back?
asks the man
with tired eyes
with sad eyes
cracking at the sides
to the star
laden
falling
sky

if i had loved you
the way i was supposed to
would you have broken my heart
the way you were meant to?
asks the old lady
dry rose petals
falling from her eyes

he reaches to close the window
to the breeze
of the darkness
she reaches to close the window
against the night
and they never
find out
Mar 2014 · 188
making sense
pluie d'été Mar 2014
it's not enough
for me
to do anything but love you

i don't trust myself
the way you think i should
because i don't make sense
even though
you swear
i make sense to you
Mar 2014 · 531
your voice
pluie d'été Mar 2014
Your voice
Is like the wind
Falling
Around me

You remind me of summer
And monsoons
And everything else that makes me
Weep
Mar 2014 · 224
memory tree
pluie d'été Mar 2014
hands
trembling

fingers
tracing over the scars
of the tree

engraved
by the metal
once warm
from his hands
a K
an A

the flower
given
hasn't bloomed since
in the shade
of that memory tree
but it's still alive
green

it's life
lasted longer
than their love

a heart
i'm sorry
memory tree
for scarring you
with a lie
Mar 2014 · 229
one day
pluie d'été Mar 2014
one day you will wake up
and see me
asleep next to you

lost in my dreams
when i am asleep
lost in my thought
when i am awake

one day you will wake up
and see my reflection
in the mirror
you will see my sadness
before i can hide it

one day you will wake up
and you will look up
to see me talking
to the wind
telling all my secrets to the trees

one day you will wake up
and feel how cold
my skin
can really be
against your safe warmth
drop my hand
in fright

one day you will wake up
and the feeling you thought
was love
will disappear like the tide
swirling at our feet

one day you will wake up
and see how far i have gone

one day you will wake up
and we will be done.
Mar 2014 · 167
untitled
pluie d'été Mar 2014
I can't help
Not loving you..
Mar 2014 · 292
Every Night After
pluie d'été Mar 2014
I loved love
Instead of you
When I was younger

Is this not all
We can do?

I have helped to taint
And destroy
The word
That should never even
Be uttered

It's definition
Should have existed
Been screamed out
Been whispered
Through our touch
Through our eyes
And not mumbled
As our clothes fell off
With the skilled recklessness
Of each others' hands

The illusion of love
Was created
That very night
And I longed
The way you did
Every night after

How I wish
I had never loved love
And whispered it to you
For It to hear
How I wish
I had instead loved you
Mar 2014 · 482
He Sits
pluie d'été Mar 2014
He sits, staring at the wall for hours at a time.
The paint is white, grey, cream, pink, green; peeling. Peeling in pieces, in chunks of time’s scrapings.
The way it peels reminds him of the time he scraped his knee against the raw pavement in the winter when he was seven. It reminds him of the scent of her fingers, held against his nose in the summer, after peeling the onions for their terrible dinners; she could never cook.
There is a cobweb, fine, dusty with greyness at the corner of the rain stained window, and he can see the muted silver moving from the wind the crack lets through. The sky is empty and full, slowly falling. The raindrops are letters; the raindrops are tears, making a sound against the windowpane, a sound against the roof- the sound he longs to hear, but cannot. There is only shuffling above him, the sound of water falling from the ceiling and into a metal bowl.
Tap, tap, tap.
The stirring of the ground above him would make him jealous, and if he could still feel jealousy, it would have been the reason for his insanity.
But he cannot.
And so he drowns in the darkness
Created by his mind
Created by his being.
He sits.
Staring at the wall.
Peeling.
Mar 2014 · 360
Incessant
pluie d'été Mar 2014
I lie on the green grass
Soft
Curling
Against my skin

Golden sunlight
Filtering
From the blue
Blue sky

Music
Mixing with the sound
Of a bird
Of an insect
Buzzing
Humming
I hear the echo
Of your hello
Of your goodbye
In my head
Still

I feel
The warmth
Of the sun
But if you forced my head
To the East
Forever
I would swear
That it had
Never existed
The way I can swear
That our love
Is an illision

Incessant
Thoughts of sorrow
Of longing
Buzzing
Through the grayness
Of my subconscious
I'm tired
Of starting to go
Crazy
Mar 2014 · 291
ignited
pluie d'été Mar 2014
ignite me
with your actions
apart
from me
watch me kneel
on the grayness

feel the heat
radiate off of me
i won't utter
one cry

is this bravery
will you forget me
in my silence
will you forget me
in my strength
passed off
as a man
with no voice

it isn't cowardice
that keeps me
silent
and still
it isn't the lack of bravery
to not return
the punch
from your fist
the slap from you palm
or the bullet
from your gun

so feel the heat
from the fire
feel the heat of my protest
smell the scent
of my burning flesh
it will taint the inside of your nose
the back of your throat
for your own eternity

feel my shadow
black
an ash
follow you
for the rest of your
falling life
don't think
that you will forget me
Inspired from a photograph of a monk who set himself on fire during protests against the treatment of Buddhists in Vietnam(1963).
Mar 2014 · 294
The Idea of Love
pluie d'été Mar 2014
the idea of love
was infinity on the
slow moving hands
of a ticking watch
cool
on your wrist
it was once forever

the idea of love
used to be happiness
and pale white
golden sunlight
warming cheeks
hands interlocked
over and over

the idea of love
used to be everything
but it's nothing now
tainted
with not even sorrow
Mar 2014 · 324
chopping
pluie d'été Mar 2014
let me just chop down
another tree

swinging
with my axe
i will ignore
the earth's cry
to write a story
of my own
it's only fair

he says
but it's not
and i wish that he would start
to care
Mar 2014 · 217
of me
pluie d'été Mar 2014
i am not frightened
of my body
being contained
by another

i am not frightened
of my thoughts
being consumed
by a him

i am not frightened
of my heart
being broken
seven years
of bad luck

i am not frightened
of you
or him
i am only frightened
of the one
who can capture my soul
who can own me
with a whisper
a glance

when you smile
claiming to own my body
you really own
nothing
of me
Mar 2014 · 226
You Lose Me
pluie d'été Mar 2014
do you see it in my eyes
like poetry
your words
short
cold
apologizing
again
and again
you lose me

look at me again
worry
care
stop
i don't want
your love
this is what it is
a lie
i wish
you had never
tainted my definition
of it
Mar 2014 · 223
It's Still Only You
pluie d'été Mar 2014
Your name
Is still the only one
That I murmur
With my eyes closed

Your face
Is still the only one
That I see

Tell me
I don't love you
Please
Mar 2014 · 179
untitled
pluie d'été Mar 2014
0
3
7
10
13
20
27

i'm tired
of keeping everything
inside
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