Sometimes I wish I was invisible.
Not to go around and be sneaky.
Doing **** that upsets people or hurts them.
I just wish I was invisible because
I'm just so ******* tired of being seen.
Having to hide my insecurities.
Having to lock up my emotions.
Having to keep myself safe.
Just being out there.

I rock.
Not the kind where i'm awesome...
The kind where I find I hug myself.
Where I move back and forwards.
All the ******* time.
When I eat.
When I write.
When I read.
When I do anything.
Just gently rocking.
Always have and probably always will.
But it comforts me.
I comfort me
That's so ******* weird.
But it's honest.

I wish I was invisible.
So that the world could leave me alone.
Because it gnaws on my bones.
Like it has the right to do that to me.
I just want to be invisible so I can live quietly.
Doing my own thing.
And no one will know I am there.
And hopefully no one will see me.
And, if I close my eyes.
And rock quietly, and slowly.
I think that's the closest I will ever get.
To being invisible.

She apologizes even when she isn't at fault.
Used to accusations.
Apologies embedded in her head.
Now she always feels wrong.
Apologies to him due to his pain.
Hurting and being hurt.
Broken hearts breaking hearts.
Unintentional.
Another apology.
Sorry for hurting you even though I'm still hurting because of you.
That doesn't matter now does it?
Apology after apology.
I'm sorry you hurt me..
I apologized for my lack of trust.
Can these apologies cease.
Please.
For me at least.

Dear thirak,

I'll keep you safe,

I'll keep you warm.

If ever there comes a storm,

Dare not worry,

Stay calm; I will be your charm.

I will take your hands and guide you through

this perilous journey of what life brings new;

Good or bad;

Happy or sad,

I will not leave you even when I'm mad;

I will walk with you till the skies turn blue;

all because my heart is true.

-Kes Long.

​So you are coming back now,
In small currents.
Lapping against my shores ever so gently,
Sneekily peeking inside for hidden memories.

Now that you have come back,
In tides and waves.
Hitting against me with a power so familiar.
Trying to knock the walls that hide me,
From the memories I dare not revisit.

Now that you have gone,
A storm's wreck behind
You knocked down every wall I built.
Leaving me in circles,
In this hurricane of broken emotions.

I am still caught up in your winds.

I am torn between loving and unloving you;
Burning bridges and closing doors
Or jumping into the void
And perhaps;
Learn how to fly.