You lie to your peers

They don't know how you behave behind a closed door

Your encore.

Twisted face

You painted man.

Is this part of your ever scheming plan?

Outside serenity

Hidden anger

Hard working "family" man

Inside you always combust

My soul

Rust.

Calm with them

A storm with me.

You are "happy"

While you're hurting me.

Your withering trophy.

I'm left to die.

Desperately try to leave.

Your grip tightening on me.

If only they knew.

The real you.

The quiver in your lip when disrupted.

Shaking our seed.

His lip busted.

Your anger out of control.

This home feels so cold.

The things you've done to me.

To our seed.

Taking our leave.

How I want your hunger to be exclusively for me.

I want your attention.

My selfishness..

Growing.

Is it bad to not want someone with wondering eyes?

Wants and needs,

I so desperately, need..

I want..

You to think of only me when we're apart

Apart from being between my thighs

Tires of being fed your growing lies.

I want to be desired.

I plead,

Envisioning..

Swallowing seed..

Feed me.

Only me.

Cravings,

Let me be.

The vacant touch

I hungrily ache for.

Your hidden secrets

I'm not her.

Your screen is your being

Within the same home

I'm left to wilt.

Gleaming,

I wait . .

I hungrily wait.

While you envision

Other women.

My body aches.

Is it too much to be desired by you?

Desired by others

I turn them down.

Only to be left alone

Your face buried while you turn down the sound.

Desired. .

I'm tired. .

My wants.. Needs..

Neglected.

You don't care

Hurting those you "love"

I cannot bare.

My sanity

I'll protect it.

Your lies

Can stay over there.

We can both have our secrets.

If that is what you choose.

I will be desired. .

And eventually I won't care if it's not from you.

Waking with rust in my throat.

The red stain on my pillow.

Just waiting to choke.

Aching bones

High pitched tones.

Pierced my head.

The living dead.

This illness.

Mentally..

Physically...

Let me be.

This pain

No endurance.

I can't tolerate..

It's taunting me.

Mouth full of red

Sensitivity to light

I'm dizzy.

No longer am I able to sleep.

Open sores

Bleed some more.

Drain me

Entirely

Maybe then I'll sleep peacefully.

Mouth full of rust

Heart with no trust

This pain engulfs me.

Aching hands

Broke mans land.

If only my rust could turn to gold.

The only thing I haven't sold

My dignity..

Just take me.

I know I am not the first person you loved.

You are not the first person I longed for.

We have both suffered loss in which..

The blood on our blades is thick.

Dealt with more scars than we have skin.

The sacrifices we've made..

No appreciation.

Our love came unannounced

In the middle of a cold January night.

The soil under us in which our first seed was planted.

Love came to us.

We took it for granted.

But we can heal..

Together.

I will write to the salt of sweet sweat that lingers on your skin.
And I will not be afraid
of your scars..

The ones that remain within.

I will love you.

I do love you.

Your warmth grips me at last

And the days ahead of us are within our grasp.

As long as you allow it to stay.

But I will not love you when you scorn me with a thousand blades.

Your words forever branded to my skin.

Trying so hard to hold onto you while you just pull away even harder.

The rope tearing my flesh

Shredding to the bone.

I can only hold on for so long..

And I'm afraid.

Not of your scars, but afraid of mine.

Afraid of wasting my time.

Our time is on the line.

My scars pressed against your scars.

I mean you no harm.

I know I'm not the first person you've loved..

I'm hoping to be your last.

Growing old with you

Our withering scars

All in a flash.

You aren't the first person I've longed for..

If given this chance.

You will be my last.

He called it love, while I stood here bleeding.

Pleading.. For this pain to stop.

"I love you, but I can't show it"

As your words dug deep in me like knives

Barely alive, numb to your touch

I'm dying inside.

Throat swells..

Bloodshot eyes

I have no more tears left to cry


Tired of exposing your lies

You still deny..

I still try...

I'm sorry..
My pride, my little sprout

These weren't my intentions

A broken family wasn't the plan I had planned out


I still try..

I still try, staggering with the will to survive for you

My seedling

My entire being

I've had enough of the constant bleeding

We'll be leaving

Sun on my skin

Envisioning him

Warm breeze flowing in my sleeve

Where have you been?

Down in dirt

Bury my knees

Grief,

Let me be..

I miss your embrace

The way your touch brought bliss to my face

But you're hurting me

Let me be

Buried to my knees

Cold wet nights

Trembling hands

What I would give to feel your warmth again..

You come with a shovel and weeds

I tremble

Your misdeed

You bury me

Warmth..

How I miss your embrace

Tears flowing

Blood draining

My body is no longer aching

Cold hands

My heart is no longer breaking

Tangled mind,

Kisses down my spine.

Physical touch

Forbidden heart that I cannot reach

Your words..

Your actions..

Hurting me.

My dear nemesis, I love you so

You spew your "love" towards me so you can gain control.

Crumbling..

I fall.

Frozen as your hand hits the wall

I try to leave and you lower your guard

Just to leave me shattered as you become explosive

Shards..

Tearing me down, never missing a beat

I will take my leave..


And in the end, you will taste defeat.

Not me.