tiptoeing on table tops
covered behind colourful masks
a facade we can build, that'll last for tonight
a night painted from self-pity and hopeless hope

let's pretend
pretend that this masquerade will go on forever

take a step
step back
step forward
step back

a waltz, almost a waltz
swinging to the beat even though i can't dance
walking with confidence despite these high heels
velvet curtains like violent seas
bring out the pain within me

tonight is the only night we'll ever accept the compliment of

"you're beautiful."

"thanks, I made this mask myself."

carve this night into the depths of your brain
a masquerade stitched into my heart
embroidered into every night I spend alone

masquerade

mask

hide the one beneath the mask
help the one beneath the mask
hide their fears
hide their pain
help them pretend that they're okay again

masquerade

mask

this night will end
this haven will end

until we meet again

i used to think that there wasn't a sight more beautiful
than the sun embracing the sky
or the waves kissing the shore

until i saw him smile
and laugh
genuinely
the dimples in his cheeks
the crinkles by his eyes
his body moving along with his laughter

how lovely it would be
if he could laugh
and smile
like that every day

and i know this is selfish of me to ask
but if only she saw him like how he sees her
then perhaps i could see
that beautiful sight
one more time

he knows that i noticed
of his love
for her
i became a bridge of some sort
a connection
an outlet to vent to

i became all his unsent texts
all the unsaved draft emails
all the crumpled love letters buried at the bottom of his bin

and somewhere along the way
i became a friend
a source of comfort
warmth
and just as he opened his heart to mine

i did too

at least that's how it was for a little while

i get mad sometimes
though i have no right to be

she doesn't notice the way he feels
and i think
does she not see?
that she is the cause
of his pain?

but none of it is her fault
absolutely none

love is not a choice
it would be far easier
to live in a world where feelings were nonexistent
and love wasn't so significant in our lives

but then the question arises

is a world like that
worth living in?

she gets a lover
proclaims her love
screams it at the top of her lungs
glee flooding her eyes
i'm happy for her

but why is it
that as she talks about her lover
i glance over at him
and watch as he smiles a
sad synthetic
smile

am i the only one
who can see his tears
threatening to spill

it's her birthday
i give her my gift and he does the same

but he steps forward with a certain
hesitance
a slight colour to his cheeks
he lets go a second too late
and she flashes a grin
he smiles too

but whilst red spread to the back of his neck
and the tips of his ears
and whilst he heard his heart

stop

she felt nothing but warmth blooming in her chest
for
a
friend

and i watched
while the spring breeze swayed the curtains
and a weak smile played on his lips
her eyes were closed
dark lashes fluttering gently
light snores escaping her mouth

he held her hand in his
and i couldn't help but to wonder
how could a love be so pure?