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 Dec 2015 Avalon's Respite
NV
i sometimes wonder why you still visit my mood swings,
left in abandoned playgrounds between my chest.
why you still visit even though the slides may only carry you down to somebody like me.
somebody difficult to love,
somebody who cannot tell the difference between crying and laughing anymore.
why you haven't left this soul,
who's bones can't seem to find enough strength to push my side of the sea saw,
who can't seem to move past three poles on the monkey bar,
simply because of the weight on top of my shoulders.
this flesh of complete brokeness that couldn't bare ringa ring rosie,
because at some point one gets tired of always falling.
i often wonder, why me.
why me, with all my chipped paint and countless dents.
why you still visit,
when this isn't the grass on other side that's greener.
because God knows,
i'd understand if you look for a park elsewhere.
a park worthy of you.
 Dec 2015 Avalon's Respite
m i a
he* came inside my soul
    and took everything away

starting from the pain
the worry
  the sadness
      the scars and bruises

lastly
  he took my heart as well

and all of my fears & pain
  began to grow strangely dim
       when i was with him.
this is cheesy asfudgee, but fudge isn't cheesy. but eh <3
 Dec 2015 Avalon's Respite
Nelsya
It was the rose
Who he misses
That once was his
Until one day he shattered it into pieces

It was the willow
Who he mistook for love
But he refuses to believe
That he's now in the sharp-edged of betrayal

The rose he was once longing for
Has grown itself into a magnificent one
Guarded by mischievous sacred shields
Even he can't divert any glance without causing his heart to hurt
But he'd do anything for his rose

And the willow too has grown
Into a dauntingly poisonous one
Also hazardous to touch
Even he's suffocating from the lies it built

He begin to wonder for the sake of love
For the guilt of breaking his rose
For misunderstanding his love

And he began to misses his rose once again
Though he doesn't deserve much
He's willing to get hurt to earn its love
It was his rose after all—
Who he hurt millions time harder a while ago
I'm a murderer
I've stabbed my own heart.
I'm a thief
I've stolen my own happiness.
I'm a liar
I've told myself how much better things would be.
I'm a slothful woman
I fell asleep.
I'm greedy
I've eaten my own pain.
I'm hungry
Just not for sin again.
Those messages you sent
to me in the dark of night
mean no more now
than they did
when we used to fight.
Just stay out of my life
and leave me alone!--
I don't want you anymore
and no, I won't come home--
I have no home
with you anymore
and I wish somehow
you'd just ignore
that we ever were a couple
for any length of time--
you hit me, you spat on me
you committed a crime
and NO, I will not take you back
and give you ONE MORE CHANCE
you see, I've already done that;
already danced that Dance--
and I don't need a repeat
of what I considered a living hell
so get the eff out of my life
and know this:
I do NOT wish you well!
Why is it the past keeps finding me? He blew his chance and I will not ever allow him back into my life, my heart. I still have a few scars to remind me. Nope. Not happening, dude. Leave me Alone!
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