when people are in love
they often say
they simply fell
tripped over their own two feet
face forward
and into the arms of their beloved

i did more than simply fall
onto the ground of your love

you, for me
were an ocean
and i dived
headfirst
roughly
harshly
almost painfully
into the waters of “you”

i knew i could not swim
but i did so anyway
i was drowning
entangled in you
surrounded by this being of “you”
engulfed in this feeling of “you”

and i did not know what came over me
but i let myself drown
i did not try to swim back up
because if i went back to land,
releasing myself from your grasp
that would mean losing the feeling of “you”

and after
submerging into the depth
the love
the passion
of “you”

how could i ever leave?

Some people eat dreams

for
breakfast

and
lunch

and
dinner

and it's not even because
they can't afford food

you don't exist when
my eyes are open
you don't exist when
my blood's not poisoned
when my soul's at peace
when my gut is full
and when I'm in company

So you exist most of the time
dear muse

but that handle was made for his hand
hand - handle
handle - hand

the fingers would close
around it to never let go
It had to have flesh around it
at all times
But the blade...
the blade was still naked. He couldn't let
the blade naked
It wasn't fair

"So that's why you stabbed your
mommy then?" the psychiatrist asked him.

"Yes," he said.

"The knife is more important
to you than mommy?"

"The knife listens. Mommy doesn't."

It may look like I'm silent
But don't let it fool you
I'm holding back the will
To say that I love you

november is an exercise in trust
we sit inside and through the windows
we watch things die
never quite sure if this time too
they will return

sometimes,

I wonder when I'll get to be happy
but then a few seconds later
I contemplate if I even deserve that

and you know what?

I'm starting to think I don't
that realization hurts
but it makes a lot of sense;

I cuff our wrists together
and tell myself
you're deciding to stay