Everytime I close my eyes,
I see my world burning down.
There's this fire behind my eyelids
that the tears can't put out.
Death is not creeping up to me
I am running straight to it
Just a tiny spec in the universe
Forgotten only after it blossomed
My hands are losing its grip
I am bound to let go anyway
This slowly fading presence
Insignificant in the eyes of others
There is no fight left in me
Let it be if the world rejects me
Karma is only giving what is due
And I am in no place to reject it
The feeling of pain is gone now
Here there is only nothingness
I feel so light, without worries
I am undeserving but will go in peace
All I need is to be forgotten
I don't need to be six feet under
Nor ashes to be scattered at sea
For at last I can rest from this lifetime
We're all acting fine
until you're lying in bed
The lights are out
you give yourself break
There's no one's there
to see you anyway
A blanket over your head
a pillow hugged to your chest
As the years start to fall
A hand put to muffle the sobs
Until sleep takes over you
those years dry themselves
You wake up to tommorow
only to wait till night comes
And cry yourself to sleep again
Quarantine ain't doing me any good
As the Stars twinkle at night
Each light comforts another
And another, and another
A dim glow from the universe
Under this breathtaking night sky
Children blending in the background
As they wait for heaven’s graces
Stars seem to have more twinkle than their eyes
As the night grew longer, and the moon rose higher
Heaven’s graces are nowhere to be found
Unlike the stars that were apparent to everyone’s eyes
They were hidden away in the darkness
A chorus of stomach growls are heard from the alleyway
They cannot wait for heaven’s graces no more
Each person passing by is as if a star in the night sky
Heaven’s grace is in such close reach
A glimmer appeared in their eyes
And other from the cold metal in their hand
Slowly they try to reach for the stars
To silence the cries of hunger in their head
I never got the chance
To just sit down and feel the wind
Blow sweet whispers in my ear
How would it feel to be completly still
As the clock stops ticking
For all the good reasons
I may be alone, but no not lonely
As the birds fly in the sky so peacefully
So quiet that I hear my own heartbeat
I never got the chance to give
Although it's fair since I never looked for it
Since they said let love find you
How nice would it be
To just tear this facade of a fantasy
And just pour out all of my anxiety
All I want in life is to be happy
Turns out things don't work out that easily
You grovel and grovel and grovel
A field of flowers in every horizon
Go cry your heart out
Go scream till your lungs hurt
No one will hear you anyway
Now put your mask back on
Put a smile on your face
i loved you
not because of your scent
or because of the crinkle in your eyes
i did not love you
because of the melody in your laughter
or the brightness of your smile
i did not love you because you gave me flowers
or because you sang me a song.
and i certainly did not love you
because of the warmth of your embrace
or the softness of your hand in mine.
i did not love you
because you stayed up hours to talk to me.
i loved you because you saw what no one else
ever saw in me.
i opened my closet of monsters to you
and even with fear in your eyes
you embraced me.
i loved you because
you still stayed beside me
despite the fact i was not as beautiful as you.
i loved you because of the gentle patience
you gave to me when i was filled with nothing
but doubt and despair.
i loved you because of the time
you spent with me
when i was scared of my own self.
i loved you because despite the fear i instilled in not only
myself, but you as well,
you tamed me.
you loved me when i did not love myself
and for that,
i truly did love you.
for the record, i still do.
"Are you in love?"
'No, not yet.'
"When do you think you'll fall in love?"
'Come the day I'll learn to love myself.'
"When will that happen?"
'Surely not anytime soon.'
"And why is that?"