The hydrangeas are starting to die now
The clouds are filling with rain
The kids have new-school anxiety
And we’re all filling with pain

The novelty is starting to die now
I’m already tired of faces
The leaves are falling from branches
And I’m already out of aces.

Let the hair fall over your face
Don’t speak, they won’t reply
It feels like you’ve been replaced
Try and let the days pass by

If you were to fall they wouldn’t see
You miss how they used to care
It’s not the way it used to be
A simple smile by now is rare

And in your head there’s only black
So tired of make believe
If you smile, they won’t smile back
Why don’t you just leave?

You’ll never be the way they are
Their level is just too hard
Just try and reach that social bar
And keep your feelings jarred

A dose of 30 paracetamol
And lithium to help keep sane
You lie in a bed with drips
Vomiting out your pain

The veins on your arm stick out
Blue against dark red scars
There are bags under your eyes
Black like a sky of stars

I hold on to your thin arms
And I hope it doesn't hurt
"Don't hurt yourself again"
But my words are lost in your shirt

You're home sometimes, or not
A long, long stay away
I miss you when you're gone
And you missed my birthday.

50 red lines
Etched and sketched across
The canvas in which you live
That was what you left
On the day you said
You’d stop

800 calories
Brittle nails and
An iron deficiency
That was what you left
On the day you chose
Recovery

It was a Monday
Late afternoon
It was a grey day
Or perhaps it was sunny

It's been a while now
Three whole years
It's no time at all
How very funny

I remember your smile
How did it look?
You were older than me
Am I older than you?

I've become different
Much the same
Still trying to realise
You're not here too?

Four, five o'clock
Suddenly - bam
You're no longer real
Neither am I

Living in a daze
Lights too bright
Fall through the clouds
Now wave goodbye

Looping and looping
A single day-dream
She’s trapped in between
The light where she cried

She eats the same cereal
Every single morning
Not a single morning
Since the day she died

I keep on walking
Staggering on the roads
I keep on the go
Leaving her behind

She likes the same bands
She wears the same clothes
The same thing she loathes
Since the day she died

This age is temporary
Changes every month
Another status done
Another band new sight

Stuck in a phase of life
She can’t advance at all
Stuck at a single fall
Since the day she died.