Instead of slowly building a tonal
palette across months
years even
spend your minutes hours days
gathering the main threads and loose ends
of a life’s oeuvre
into a tapestry brilliantly feral
and unknowable.

Tack it by the roadside
where the asphalt leads back
to lost dreams so beautiful.
Where those you cherish most
are already looking back from a future
where nothing quite worked
but some unexpected air
still managed to find it’s way
into the digital chatter claustrophobia.

Learn not to worry
and hold close the absurd mystery
of your hands hands
never quite forgetting to
search for a familiar shape
in every darkened room
beyond the space set aside
for dreaming.


Never forget to repeat yourself endlessly,
endlessly
endlessly
endlessly
when the subject
is love.

our cat's arrival signals
the moment's indifference
interrupting the growing dearth of words between us
stretching twice, yawning once
laying on the floor exactly where it needs be
in the midway, that middle betwixt  us
...like a skilled interpreter 
the cat listens,the cat is aware
of the unspoken forbearance
alert to the closed conversation
that always exist and churns between us,
we are held captive inside of it
and to each other because of it
this from the truth, the start of things
..the cat loses all interest
but remains polite
excusing himself
and leaves the room
..and we are left all blankness and dullness
we are left to each other again
... later, we take turns listening
to the wind rattling a window
the same one we lay under every night
when the unsaid things tire
and dispose of us
...the wind shakes
against the loosened panes of glass
we always need something to hear
and we are grateful for the noise
each others silence is frightening
our own is worse than death
anything that's there, it doesn't matter
 a distraction,a small noise,a cat
i suppose it is there to comfort us
anything will do
...i want to stop the rattle
i want to fix everything
that is torn and broken between us
i want to make repairs..
...but the cat has returned to the room
and we blink and the moment goes pale again
we look and meet each others soft stare
silence
caught suddenly aware
..we have forgotten to name the cat.

I think of it, sometimes
in passing that corner. or

climbing those stairs,
two bodies entangled against

the rail. getting off
the rails. did they, too

recognise something
stranger in a stranger?

something I too thought
I had found. that night

I saw it. I was sure. the light
behind the pain. fireworks

behind closed eyelids.
ready to chase it all down

the rabbit hole. I was
already falling: Wonderland

wondering, wandering lost.
but no. it was just -

just a wet puddle
on impassive bitumen.

just a mirage. a trick
of the light.

whose light? I suppose
it was nothing, just

something very
ordinary

after all.

I see two green leaves breaking out of earth
After long years of dormancy
A chain reaction is starting
Cuffs are breaking lose

No more cages
This shark can dive to uncharted depths
No more shackles
This eagle can fly to uncharted heights

My weaknesses cower at my strengths
Now I smile through the pain
My positive principles
The umbrella through the rains

I hurt in the dark
My soul was hurtled and I was losing the fight
In ways so dreadful
Dreams turned to nightmares

I was ******* in my insignificance
Daily doubted the benefits of my existence
Now I take my steps with confidence

It is morning now and a flower is blooming
My night was gloomy
Now so brightly the sun shines
And heavens cannot resist my goodness

Even though the scars may remain forever
And my scarry past be forever disturbing
I rhyme to say thank you mama
For you helped me win

A sea of gray and white
and spots of blue so bright
with beams of shining light
oh what a wondrous sight

The rain did trickle down
though sun shown all around
I spoke not but a sound
to disturb the peace I'd found.

Polyamory

You see,
the poly I am
is different then the poly
I want to be.  
For me,
poly is about being free,
but also
not shirking from responsibility.  
After all,
who wants to fall in love
with some ape in a tree?  
Definitely not me!
So you see,
Poly is about love, for me.
It's about creating an endless sea
Of compassion and connectivity.
But, it also creates safety
For your poly family.
And if doesn't well...
Your guaranteed some misery.

But the poly I am
is different then the poly I wish I were.
The poly I am
is hidden and sore.
Secretive and pale
it seems to only lap gently
along loves shore.
Instead of armor made from belief
I steal bits of time like a thief.

chains rattle and hiss
they slide and slither around my feet
poisonous serpents i cannot escape
twisting my steps into unknown paths
foiling my legs, movements truncated
falling to my knees, they climb
screaming, incoherent rage, wordless struggles
and they whisper
whisper
whisper
WHISPER
of codes and consequences
of right and wrong
breathless i scream in silent wrath
jaw distended, creaking
they wrap up my unsaid words
force their way down my throat
chaining tight my beating heart
beating
beating
beating
bea....


Peace.