I don't want you
Any part of your noxious soul
You *******, obliterate, destroy
Like venom in veins
Slowly eat away
Look at the pain
You caused so much
Broken hearts, twisted remarks
Undone, redone to undo again
Your ways make absolutely no ******* sense
****** sensations
My only limitation
But insanity comes with a heavy price
Now nothing ever seems to suffice
Normal conversation is all that was required
Of course, too much to ask, from a lowly squire
Everything you touch turns to ash
If it weren't for compassion I would've never acted so rash
But now that's all trash
You've proven your worth
Correct, none
I want all my doings to be undone
**** your tainted mind
How do I leave this **** behind


                                                 *s.q.

Blood at the base of my neck
The taste of mold
Cold, cold, cold surrounds my every cell
My tears freezing as they trickle down my face

I breathe.

My sight sees a sliver of smoke climbing the ladder of air
I dare to shift my gaze
Distant moans, screams, footsteps creeping on the cobblestone
Slowly understanding action is required, I roll over,
Spit a stream of red, secure my undone laces,
And close my eyes to prepare for the pain I heavily anticipated;

First step....."ssss"
Second step....."hhhhaa"
Third step....."hooooo"
Run.

                                       ­                                *s.q.

Follow me. Where you ask?
Into the nest of me and he.
Lay your love. How strong you ask?
Like the depths of the ocean, and the strength of the sea.
Hold on. How tight you ask?
Like a meteor in the sky; fixed in space but free.


                                                 *s.q.

In these silences of utter loneliness I stop and reflect;
Is this really my life?
Have I actually spent all these years trying to find change when in reality I've been stuck in this round-about since I was born.
I can't escape it.
This is my reality.
Of course there are peaks
Of course I have moments of true happiness and bliss which seem enough to be alive for in the moment.
But those moments have passed, all of them that may have existed in my lifetime, it seems.
I feel as if tomorrow will be another black day on my calendar.
Another year full of shed tears
More fallen hope
My crumbling spirit..
How?
On this day, one of the happiest for Muslims, how has it been consistently marked for destruction?
How have I been running away from my family due to sheer pain and sadness on such a beautiful day of reuniting?
Not one, not two, but for the past six years it seems, peace has not entered this home.
Please Allah, let today be different.


                                                 *s.q.