Christ within
Only when I submit to Him
And flee from sin
Christ within
My all in all
Through all in all
He has seen
me through it all
Christ within
The only Way
The only Truth
The only Life
Worth it all
Christ within
My strength and my portion
My soul knows it well
My flesh still struggles
My spirit yearning
For more of Christ within.

Do you ever feel like,
Not just the walls,
but the world is closing in?
In on you
No one understands
Not a single living soul
Will listen to the hideous thoughts
Sounding in your head
Not a single living soul
Will understand what your heart
Needs to say
So you let the world close in on you
You let the walls come crumbling down
You let yourself curl into a ball
You let the music be your only muse
You let your bed be your only comfort
You let sleep be your only escape

But I know there is more
Rational calls my name
Shakes my slumped shoulders
Tells me I am better than this
Reminds me, God hears
My conflicted soul
Will only last a little while longer
And a little while more
I will be okay
I will be safe
All is forgiven
Conscience clear
Repentance heard
God is good
He made a way
Jesus is His name.

Eyes closed
Mind awake
Hands tremble
Body cold
Lips apart
Tongue tied
Hair distraught
Heart delight
Feet grounded
Arms twisted
Nightmare or dream
I can't tell
Please
Wake up

cold, hard heart
rock, cold hard heart
the warmth emitted
last night
from our bodies
side by side
did not last
this dewy morning
cold, hard heart
rock, cold hard heart
i feel nothing
grasping superficial
escaping my repression
silencing my conscience
resulting in rebellion
cold, hard heart
rock, cold hard heart.

I sit here and imagine the smell of roses blooming
Out of my nostrils
The life of the wilderness
Raining down hunger and fire
Hunger for the Truth, fire that quenches my thirst
Thirsting for the transformation Truth brings
Because I know a Name like no other
Yet to confess His name is controversy
Maybe even deadly
I know a Name like no other
And He is the Way, the Truth and the Life
Who's hand is raised to receive this Manna?
Who is willing to lay down their life for the cross of salvation?
He calls out and none answers
So then,
Who if not me?
When if not now?
What if not Him?
Where if not here?
How if not this?
-soulwriterj

Pen and paper are the best friend
To the words in my mouth
That I cannot express out loud
Pen and paper are the sidekick
To the problems that heroes can't fix
Pen and paper are the beginning steps
To peeling back the layers of my soul cry
Pen and paper are the pain killers
To relieve the discomfort that doesn't easily die
Pen and paper are my therapy
Don't get me a therapist, I'm more a realist
Pen and paper holds a deep and dark side
That if you ever discover my words
You might never see me in the same light
-soulwriterj

Hungering
Dripping sweat
My soul thirsts
For more and more
Of the One that
Gives and gives
Yet my flesh fights
It's a tug o war
Dripping sweat
Hungering
-soulwriterj