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I have tied heart strings around my neck
and hoped the blurred vision of my
somewhat self destructive nature
would take away the optic curses
that disallow me to see what I cannot heal.

Sharpened question marks
hook into the aged rings in my flesh.
Left out for too long; forgotten.
He tries not to cry as
suspended interrogatives pull at limbs
and hang body over a myriad of "who?" or "why?"
(I forget which).

I am both the antique puppet and the
incandescent hole in the puppet master's chest,
taught to love my wooden creators
and fall in love with anything
that helps me forget about the skeletons
within my bloodstream.
Pull my strings.
Watch me come undone.
The past has past,
and from it I have decided to flee.
I no longer care about what
happened then.
So, don't wave your history at me.

Technology is supposed to
lessen the load,
and somehow make us feel free,
But all I see are chains and rooks.
So, don't wave your gadgets at me.

In the educational system I trusted,
through it the world I could see,
But now I know
it's all a show.
So, don't wave your grades at me.

Poetry is an acquired taste;
As dead as it can be,
But write we still,
As words can ****.
So, don't wave your lines at me.

In love I used to trust;
the one and only key.
But then I learnt,
and caring was burnt.
So, don't wave your happiness at me.

You came unexpected and briefly;
Like the sun on a cold winter's day.
You dived and soaked in the waters,
and caused ripples through and through.
Changing the surface for a brief moment of eternity.
Now you've bathed and done;
had your fun.
For this I decree:
I am the errors you left me
So please do not wave at me.
Sort of inspired by Keaton Henson's Poem- 'Don't twitch your curtains at me'. Go look him up. He's a great renaissance man.
The winter river;
down it come floating
flowers offered to Buddha.
Merry Christmas. Today your present is this smile I hold true
This is the best I can do for you
Behind this I hold the very honest truth that I must carry
I will bury the burden of what the truth carries; inside myself
Maybe this is the day you celebrate
To me this is the day I carry the heaviest weights
Amongst the worlds that I carry, today, gravity kicks in
My body screams and aches more than hopefully you will ever know
The seams of my scars begin to rip to wider tides
I press and hold them close
Letting the sea reap it's stains inside these veins
Gushingly I take on the mighty sea for all my own
As restlessly stirring within my being
Shuttling off the shakes as my mind wonders to the heaviest place
The pain of this holiday is the true horror that no one could believe
Behind each gift is another anchor to tie my mind down
Behind each "Merry Christmas" is another 2 tons to my darkest depth
The weight that you can never come to know
The nightmare called Christmas that can never be spoken
I bare burden to the past
As each year builds its own cask
I no longer know the joyfulness of this holiday
This does not mean I will take away this day
Never will I load this onto whom I know
Today is your day
Today is your holiday
Today is Merry Christmas
This is how I feel every Christmas and I think I have written a poem right after opening gifts 3 or 4 years now and it only gets worse and worse for me.  Harder it is to smile.
The sun is shining,

But I couldn't see.

The wind is blowing,

But I couldn't breathe.

The darkness remains to stay upon me

If no one comes,

My heart would bleed.



My senses are lost,

Please lead me the way

If you promise not to break

The promises you make.

I trusted many before you came

They broke my heart

'Cause they wanted some fame.

And now I am here standing alone

I just want myself to be unknown.



The people are driving me insane

They do nothing but give me more and more pain

Their laughter rips my ears,

Slowly making a way for my tears.



The clouds burst with a growling grin

The rain pours down upon my skin

Alone I stand beneath the rowdy rain

Because all my endeavor went vain

I drench myself wishing my thoughts would melt

removing all the pain that I ever felt.
The head too feels a cold rush
like those cheeks of yours
will never ever blush
again; that the sun is
a sin and yet it sets again.


Tears come to meet the pain,
but the blizzard hand advances
freezing it all to rain.
Falls onto you like never before,
this planet is are dungeon;
can love give any more ?



Nothing is planned for it is just.
Death must win and life must rust.
Your friends will break it all again:
rotting in eternal flames.
Because it is written
yes, it was said.


God almighty makes us dread
his bony fingers slipping
through the register of death
holding captive every name
and soul at rest.
A simple word in a ****** book,
is forever and ever there.



Miserable duplicates we have been,
going about an earth of spleen,
teeming through porous holes,
scooping through life as would a mole.
Reckless mammalian salesmen/experts,
speaking, sleeping eating, and guessing in vain
to someday meet his horrid train:
If angels were men they'd be robots
blinded by the barrel of a gun;
fulfilling an order for order's sake
flying about as they awake.
All part of the cold infinite sludge;  
everyone an equal precooked piece
of the holy celestial cake.
A bit pretentious, please close your eyes over the whole thing, Try to get the general image . Thank you
******* flame in my bloodstream
Sold my coat when I hit Spokane
Bought myself a hard pack of cigarettes
In the early mornin' rain
Lately my hands they don't feel like mine
My eyes been stung with dust and blind
Held you in my arms one time
Lost you just the same
Jolene, I ain't about to go straight, it's too late
I found myself face down in a ditch
***** in my hair, blood on my lips
A picture of you holding a picture of me
In the pocket of my blue jeans

Still don't know what love means
Still don't know what love means
Jolene, Jolene
Been so long since I seen your face
Felt a part of this human race
I've been living out of this
Here suitcase for way too long
Man needs something he can hold onto
Nine pound hammer or a woman like you
Either one of them things will do
Jolene, I ain't about to go straight, it's too late
I found myself face down in a ditch
***** in my hair, blood on my lips
A picture of you holding a picture of me
In the pocket of my blue jeans
Still don't know what love means
Still don't know what love means
Jolene, Jolene,
ray-lamontagne
He
Just like the snow outside,
His heart is cold and white..
He doesn't want to sing carols,
He doesn't want a sleigh ride..

He wants to sit in cimmerian shade
and sink in his mindfulness
to reach the jolly memories
when she was by his side..
Just like the snow outside,
His heart is cold and white..
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