This is a story about a girl
A girl who cared too much about the world
She got in her head that she was fat
Turns out she wasn’t and that’s a fact

There was a girl who care too much
She went about her life as such
She cut her thighs
And constantly worried about her size
That girl who cared too much

She starved herself
to please someone else
The girl who cared too much

Now she is dead
and nothing is to be said
about The girl who cared too much

Nobody knows why
she felt she had to die
No one ever saw her cry
The girl who cared too much

Before she died
She said with a sigh
“You won’t charge my mind
The choice is all mine”
The girl who cared too much

“You need to let it be
Because this is all me”
The girl who cared too much

It turned out she lied
The pain that was inside
Came from words she put aside
The girl who cared too much

It’s been a month now
And no one remembers how
they had always put her down
The girl who cared too much

You ask me, what anorexia is like.

It's like slipping or twisting your ancle without anyone seeing, no one to help you up.
You sit until someone comes by, they help you up, but after a while you slip again.
This time your sitting in mud and slowly sinking into it.
And when you're two feet into that hole, a person comes by and tries to help you since your anvle is hurt.
But you're afraid they'll fall too so you ask them to leave.
You start to crawl out and finally get up, but slip again.
You fall down in that hole again, and this time you beoke your entire leg.
It starts raining and the hole grows deeper.
It's 5 feet deep now.
One of your well known friends comes by and tries to help you, but ends up throwing you a shovel.
But actually you start to like your hole, you take contact to people, who also fell into a hole.
There are sites on the internet, some shows how to get the deepesr mist perfect hole.
Other shows how to get up.
But you're sad, and you like your hole, so you try to get that deepesr one.
You want to win this, you wanna show everyone who called you weak that you can get the deepest hole in the world.
But when you're 20 feet under ground, and everyone starts to notice your hole.
Everyone is willing to help you.
And suddenly you have 20 shovels, and 20 stairs.
But you can't decide wich one is better.
*That's what being anorexic is like

I've never been "That girl"
That girl who comes out of a realationship.
And instantly finds herself in another.. Effortlessly. Like it was destiny.

I guess it was just mever destined for me to be "that girl"
That girl, who never stops having people confess their love for her
That girl who people can't stop talking about, how pretty they are.
That girl who can get guys to buy her a drink at the bar.
By the pattern of her soft lips and a hair flip.
Effortlessly. Like it was destiny.

I guess, it was just never destined for me, to be "that girl"
That girl who knows how to flirt properly.
That girl who can put her makeup on flawlessly
That girl who can post a photo to facebook and not find a million insecurities, lurking at the tips of her fingers, as she presses the share button.

And i know that i shouldn't let these things define my femininity.
I know, that i shouldn't let these things bother me, but.. They do.
It's like having a lack of popularity in this world, is seen as an abnormality.
It is seen as less than womanly.
And i'm always forced to ask myself 'what's wrong, with me?'

But maybe it's because i was never destined to be "that girl"
Maybe it's because i was destined to be something more!
To be that girl who just lives her life.
That girl who loves herself for who she is, and doesn't rely on popularity to make herself feel alright.

That girl who knows what she wants, and fights until it's her's.
That girl, who still has insecurities, but.. At the end of the day just says 'whatever?
Because we all know who runs the world'
I wanna be that girl.

I bite my nails
when I'm nervous
but I took what I had
and painted them red
to match my blood.

They say red is a sensual color
They say it is ****.
But all I see in red
Is blood and drowned hopes and pain,
But maybe pain is ****.
It's oh so beautiful for the sadist to watch me fall apart.

I asked Ana to help me,
be my best friend,
she said it would be hard
and once I start
there's no going back,
sometimes,
some people,
take it too far,
and can't stop.
She said there's no telling the outcome.
She's wrong in that sense,
I know the outcome,
the outcome is beautiful.
It doesn't matter if I'm a corpse,
I swear if this kills me
I'm going to be the skinniest corpse
you ever did see.

I don't care about fun
I don't care about clever
I don't care about social
I don't care about weather

forget about guns
I'm not a sinner
Leave me alone
As long as i'm getting thinner