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skyler Jul 2018
i am living three different lives and not one if them makes sense
filled with alcohol and raised voices
dark nights with questionable choices
i don't know who i am
i let others decide for me
all i know is i'm a mess
and these demons seem to adore me
i have some issues i can't sort out
problems nobody knows about
the skeletons in my closet
are clawing at the door
but there's already so much mess outside
how could there be more
i'm overwhelmed and tired
don't know where to go
i can't stand being vulnerable
but some wounds we have to show

s.s
skyler Jul 2018
pop
numb and floating high
searching for another
these are my happy pills
my best and only lover

s.s
skyler Jul 2018
i understand, we are a dead end. we reached our final destination as strangers with complicated memories and there’s no turning around. there’s no way to walk backwards into the past or reverse time, but that doesn’t change the path we took. there are still all those memories behind us. every choice we made was another chapter in our story and those don’t disappear, so even though it is pointless would you stand at our end and admire them with me. although the film is over, stay and watch the credits. replay the good in your head like we were a fairytale and appreciate the bad for the lessons it brought. keep our story on the bookshelf of your memory but promise me you’ll pick it up and flip to your favorite pages at least once more. i understand, every good thing has it’s end, but please, for the sake of my sanity, let me know it was worth it. let me know you wouldn’t change our path even if you knew what was at the end. let me know i was worth it because love, you were worth everything.

s.s
excerpt from a book I’ll never write #720
  Jul 2018 skyler
Lauren Johnson
I will always want the best for you.
I just wish I was the best.
skyler Jul 2018
i was told
to make my body
my home
so i painted
embarrassment
on the walls
and hung
hate
from the ceilings
i am uncomfortable
in this home
and the image i see
saddens me
because this home
is messy
and the other girls
are pristine

s.s
skyler Jul 2018
darling, you don't miss me
you miss the attention

s.s
skyler Jul 2018
you don’t hurt someone
you wish to keep in your life
you treat them with care
like a precious gem
because you know
their true worth

s.s
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