they were caught somewhere in the middle
between strangers and lovers
like where the waves hit the shore

not quite the sea
but not yet land

s.s

i kept them
as tokens of our innocence
of a love that once was

they stand for a time before
when we were together
and that's all that mattered

a time when we wanted to make each other happy
just kids struck blind by first love
trying to hold on to the high before it faded away

a time when i thought the world was good
and i had finally found something that felt right
i had found someone i didn't want to lose

now i can't seem to throw them away
because they remind me of you
and you may not be here now
but they prove you once were
so i kept them

s.s

there once was a time
when love was the greatest mystery known to man
when husbands and wives
didn't **** their baby sitters and ruin their children's lives
when flowers were given as a token of flattery and not an excuse for an apology

there once was a time
when you and i, partook in this mystery
where our hands were intertwined
and our hearts fluttered at the same time

but that was a long time ago
and i know
all the secrets.

you can delete their contact
block their number
and erase all of their texts

you can burn the pictures
shred the letters
and donate every gift

you can purge yourself of all tangible evidence
that they ever entered your life

but you will never be able to get rid of the way they made you feel

you will never be able to forget their laugh
or the look in their eyes when they told you they loved you

you will never be able to erase the way their touch felt to your skin
or the way it made you feel something you couldn't put into words

you will never be able to delete everything they said from your brain
and it will ring in the air when no one is around

and you will most definitely never be able to obliterate the way they broke your heart
and it will always burn and take your breath away when you hear their name

s.s

hours to end
seconds to start
the endless thinking
brain gears spinning out of control
thoughts demanding attention

trying to sleep
it keeps you awake
causing feelings in your stomach and chest
to match the madness in your mind
dangerously debilitating

finnaly they wear you down
as you slip into comatose
your body and brain exhausted from fighting
your eyes as red as the blood on your skin
your breaths slowing as you drift away
and you sleep

but the first breath awake
from a soft sad slumber
is a jumpstart
and everything wakes up
the thoughts are running like a raging river
loathing the time they lost as you dreamt

and now you're awake
staring at the ceiling fan
nauseous from the spinning
and the reality of being awake

s.s

i wish i could pick up the pieces
of this broken bond we've built
and mold them together
in a way that would leave it invincible
to the battles it has yet to fight
and the people who try to tear it apart

because i want to fix it
this chaotic mess we've created
to prove
that love is a glue
strong enough to fix these broken hearts
and leave them with the power to fight off any disbelievers

but here i sit
in the ruins of us
and i'm searching for a starting point
but all i manage to see
is what could have been
and i don't know how to fix
a puzzle with missing pieces

s.s

i crave a love so pure
a love in which angels
sing from the heavens above
a true love
but true love isn't really true
the angels won't sing down to hell.