The thoughts within my head sloshed around my brain like the alcohol in my stomach.
I was cold and tired and with a dizzy mind the only thing I craved was to be in your arms.

I called out your name, to no avail, on the street right in front of your house. the lights were off
so I called your phone and the dial tone seemed to say sorry for the inconvenience, get some sleep you drunk girl.

So I walked alone and cold back to my small room. i put on the shirt that smelled like you,
climbed into bed and reached my arms out into the void that used to contain your warmth.

I had a dream you called that night, only to wake and find it wasn't a dream. i was mad at myself for thinking of it as such. Mad at myself for not answering, not paying enough attention, for turning my phone on silent.

In the morning the thoughts within my head had exited along with the alcohol, and my mind belonged to me again, not you. The only thing I craved was a good bagel, and to be rid of you.

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

I'm in the front row at your show
watching you strum along to the song
you said was about me;

my hair sticks to my face
and covers my eyes
but I can still see
that's it's about her

I see before me a fire
that rages on with
no flames
running through valleys
and declaring everything
In its path
its own for the taking

we watch as people grab hands
and begin to pray the flames away
without realization that the third
fourth
fifth
or thirty second time
is not the charm

the fire takes families
dead or alive
without judgement to pass
on the whole communities it devours

we stand and watch it like a bad accident
where it’s impossible to look away
as we wait for the impact that is inevitable

it is fueled on hate, the fire
and it rises from the ground
and swells in the air like waves in a storm
hissing at those,who
despite it all
hold love in their hearts

because these people are the most threatening
the ones who are unaware of the true powers they possess
the power to love, and be loved
the ones who still have a voice
that can be heard over the sound of burning cities

we watch as people grab hands
and speak with love on their tongues
like if they’d stop the fire would eat them alive
and I stand with these people

these people
who never knew something as pure as water could destroy such a deadly flame

just as something pure as love could destroy hate, exposing the truth that
in the battle between love and hate-
LOVE ALWAYS WINS

To my future children,
nothing in life comes easy
you will hear these words all the time.

To my boys,
treat the world with a gentle touch
be kind
do not let others
teach you the ways in which
they think boys ought to be.

To my girls,
i say the same
but in this cruel, cruel world
remember that you breathe fire
for that is the only way
you will make it out alive.