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Silence Screamz Dec 2016
A simple dust covered plastic mistletoe,
that stayed stapled above
the front door all year round
and a carton of Camel smokes wrapped
in red and green wrapping paper,
under the Christmas tree,
with a big silver "store bought" bow on it,
the tag said "Merry Christmas, FROM: SANTA"
is how I remember Christmas.

Ahh!! The Joy of Christmas
and no chestnuts roasting by an open fire.
We did have a real pine tree though.

My highlight of the holidays
was going down to the local VFW
and seeing a "Jolly Old Elf" with a fake beard,
he was really a fat, retired police officer.
But still Saint Nick to an eight year old boy.

You see that was the time when you got
out of the house.
When "he" started downing his
Christmas "spirits" and *******
down those cancer sticks.
The fumes were so thick at times,
I swore I was in LA ,
during rushhour on the 5.

After the frantically ripping open the presents,
us kids would dash off to our bedrooms.
Taking one or two gifts with us,
we created our own
getaway world, our own Christmas of Joy.

Then.

It began.

With voices raised,
even the mice scurried away.
I would wrap the pillows over my ears
and I would pray for peace on earth
and good will toward men.

Ghosts of my Christmas past
still seep into my memory at times
and
they haunt me till this day.
My Christmas past were not all joyful. Have a great holiday, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or joyous time
Silence Screamz Dec 2016
Will you come visit my grave
when I die?
I want to say thank you
and die again.
A little quip
Silence Screamz Dec 2016
I was born of dust and bones,
to a battered mother across the pond.
With a warm *****
and gentle hand,
she would cradle me gently.

On a many days,
her eyes would melt tears
into my cotton wool blanket.
I felt her agony
seep through the simple
fabric of our bond.

The coward would stalk
her with his angry words,
Knowing she could not
leave him, because she
feared more bitter moments
of bruises

During the silent times,
her violent screams would turn
to whispers and lost time,
But she would always find a way
to cradle me in her arms.

As minutes turned to hours in the day,
I laid helpless in my crib.
A somber calm shadowed over me,
the feeling of my warmth was gone.
I wept but a single tear down
my rounded red cheek.

I could not cry anymore,
for I feared those angry words
and violent hands.
I laid in her whispers and lost time.
The cradle of her warm *****
and gentle hand were
no longer here.
From an infant point of view. Cradled by a mother, we seem to never forget when it all started
Silence Screamz Dec 2016
The sun melted a crayons on my eyes and now I see rainbows
Silence Screamz Nov 2016
Our winter nights as children
would find us lying next to the floor vent
of the heater, at most two of us at a time, in our old drafty house, just to stay warm.

Dad would line the windows
with plastic and stuff towels in
the cracks of the panes to
stop the cold air from coming through.

A few times, we only had
the heat of our oven to warm up the kitchen,
Several bedrooms were locked up
to conserve what heat we had,
dad would always drip water from the faucet
to keep the pipes from freezing

My parents couldn't afford much
in those days, not on a mechanic's wage,
and feeding a family of eight
Our warmth was what we had,
our bond in the winter months
It' was not much warmth, but it was ours.

Our walks to school were even colder,
bristling through the knee deep snow
in our second hand, Goodwill jackets
and two pairs of thin gloves and socks
to keep our fingers and toes from freezing.

Every morning, my mom would prepare us
either a hot, steeping bowl of oatmeal
or cream of wheat, the smell of dad's military
coffee lingered throughout the house,
long after he left for work.

It was those mornings, I remembered most though,
those 6 am mornings, in a old, drafty house,
you could hear my dad shuffling the newspaper
just before my mom would knock on our bedroom doors to get us up

Its been a month of your passing,
I can still hear you rustle the newspaper
and I can still smell your burnt military coffee
every morning since and I still don't want
to get out of bed

We didn't have much warmth in that old, drafty house, but it was all ours.
My father passed a month ago, I don't think I am over it quite yet
Silence Screamz Nov 2016
Penniless drunk on the lonely streets of desire kissing the concrete columns of my "under the bridge" castle, keeping warm by the trash can fire, eating leftovers from the local Italian deli ... tattered suit of despair and sorrow ... a wee bit of a man

It's just a guise of human indulgence taking the air that I breathe for granted, even though it is laced with toxic chemicals that burn my lungs..I choke on life as I choke on this air ..hack hack
My life has been turned upside down as of late
Silence Screamz Oct 2016
Both heart and mind are
shattered now that you are gone.
For I didn't get a chance to
say goodbye,
But I do have one question to ask of you,
Did it make you proud that I was your son?
My father passed on October 3, I didn't get to see him before he left
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