it's interesting how, at night,  the smoke only reveals itself when shone on by the light. it's not even only the smoke -- it's the wind that moves it.

i thought of you while i smoked those three cigarettes. i can only reveal my true self when i'm with you. you are my light; the only one who possesses the ability to bring out the beauty in me, the beauty i've been keeping in for a very long time.

i'm intoxicated. both by the cigarettes and by you.

I've been thinking about you
It's what I do everyday
Yeah I've been thinking about you
But this time in a different way
I know it's been quite a long time
And Since I haven't had any signs
From you
Get out , get out of my head
And fall into my arms instead
Won't you ?

See, you got me wanting you
No I don't wanna f#%k you
I wanna make love to you
I wanna know how my body feels on yours
I wanna feel your lips on my skin
And do it till We overdose
Let me make you get that feeling
Let me be the one who make your heart racing
Let's make love

Come over here
we have some time to catch up
Don't disappear
I hate it when you make me feel like I messed up
I just wanna hold you tight
Be closer to your heart
And put aside the fights
There're so many things we should be doing
Honey I need you, I need your good loving

Be mine tonight
Be mine now and forever
Let's turn off the light
And make love to each other

She was the kind of girl
Worth dancing with
     In the middle of the living room
To the music
Of late night television.

She was the kind of girl
Who made the sky dizzy
     Whenever it looked down at her
Because she was
More vast than the sea.

She was the kind of girl
You wanted to kiss
     In each and every snow drift
Because her lips
Were warmer than any jacket.

She was the kind of girl
Who held you at night
     And whose arms lingered
Because when she was gone
You still felt her around you.

She was the kind of girl
People drag themselves
     From their beds and walk to work
Because they needed to care
For a necessity like her.

She was the kind of girl
Who made you trip over
     Words you wished were nearly as lovely as her,
Because she was the embodiment
Of all you ever wanted to say

To swoon the stars and put the moon in your back pocket.

I've started to not care about school.
Copying homework left and right.
Cheating on tests
every
****
time.

And I can't bring myself to care.

It’s 1:09 in the morning. I can’t sleep, haven’t been able to in months.
Now it’s 1:10 in the morning, I’ve been trying to put my thoughts together.
I wrote a song about you today, I say that like it’s not the millionth one.
When I hear your name I have flashbacks of your smile, and your eyes.
Those eyes tell a story, one even the greatest of storytellers couldn’t portray.
But I know it all by heart, well what I have left of my heart.
However, you’re not to blame for the broken heart.
I blame myself and my late realization that you were the one holding me together.
It’s been 1 year, and 5 months since we ended things.
I fear the pain has only gotten worse.
Two parts of me died when you left, an evil, never satisfied with what I have part, and the part of me my mother misses most.
If I could explain what I mean by that I would, but it seems to me it’s more than any of us may ever comprehend.
It’s 1:21 now. It’s been 1 year, 5 months and 12 minutes since I started writing this.
If only I could find the words to say.
Your mother never really liked me, then again I gave her reasons not to.
My mother still loves you, then again you gave her every reason to.
I think about you more than I should. I can’t help it, you’re everywhere.
You’re the sun when it shines down just right, you’re the flowery smell in the breeze.
You’re the quiet girl in the hallway with her headphones in.
You’re the girl singing in my gym class.
At least I see you in the things they do, but they aren’t you.
Nobody ever will be.
Sometimes we talk, I don’t know if that kills me or keeps me alive.
I look at your pictures every day.
There’s 22 I’m too afraid to delete on my phone because i’m sure you’ve deleted yours and I don’t want them gone forever.
I can describe them all in detail.
Sometimes I interlock my fingers and squeeze them together like we did to each other when we held hands.
That sounds absolutely pathetic. But none the less I still do it.
My friends told me I talk about you in my sleep.
I dream about you often, 50% of the time I’m awake when I do.
I still text you names of songs that remind me of you or that I think you would like.
Most of those songs make me cry.
That also sounds pathetic.
It’s 1:45 in the morning, I still can’t sleep.
Now I have been writing this for 1 year, 5 months and 36 minutes.
I don’t think I’ll ever be finished.
I still love you.

“Don’t worry because
     I will make time
     to stare at you;
     tracing your collarbones
     like constellations and;
     watch your eyes
     obligingly flutter close
     and darling, I’ll kiss each eyelid
     hoping you'll ******* love,
     turn your eyes into the colors
     of someone you loved
     and in time, they’ll turn into mine  
     and you will dedicate your time,
     staring at me
     as much as I did to you
     when he didn’t.”