How can I get mad over the fact that no one stays,

When all I do is beg to be left alone?

You killed something in me
Something that made people look my way and smile
The very thing that made you like me

You killed it
You killed my innocence
And for that
I will not forgive you
nor myself

Ever since then
I've been trying so hard
every day
to revive it
One, two, three, CLEAR!
... and nothing

It is not an easy thing to restore

I don't even know if it's possible
But I'll keep trying
I'll keep hoping
that one day I can again
be that girl
the girl known and admired
for her innocence
because everybody always liked that person
and so did I

Its easy to fool people

put on a Smile

and they feel

you are Alright

Sometimes I wonder

if I am a Fine Actor

Or is it

that I have a

Blind Audience

I've been stuck in this hole for too long
This hole of emptiness and sadness

I can't recognize happiness
I don't think I can really feel it anymore

When I think I'm experiencing happiness
I wait...
I wait for whatever it is to come and ruin it
because that thing always comes
always

It hurts to live like this
It hurts that I'm used to it

These night thoughts are becoming my day thoughts too
I'm tired
I just wanna sleep
I wanna be free

They tell you to stay away from the voices
The ones that are putting you down,
drowning you,
and slowly killing every bit of you
But what do you do when these voices are inside your head?
What do you do when the voices' home is you?
Where do you run to?

*My mind,
let me be at peace, please
I beg of you set me free