After all these years I look up
and the moon is the same
Then I look at myself in the mirror
and it's a person that never stopped changing and never will.

I feel so full I could burst
Longing and lovesickness and loud songs of sorrow filling my heart
I'm bittersweet to my core
Some days I wish I didn't feel so much
But I'd rather have a bruised heart and a cracked pride than be totally numb
It's easy to complain about the one wrong thing than be grateful for all the right
I never used to drink coffee like a second hobby
But now I'd sacrifice anything to wake myself up from this bad dream
I felt love touch my tender heart once
It turned me into a fire, bright and warm and endless
And then the wind came and blew me out
I was cold and it was dark in the circle of stones
And I was alive still in only the embers burning
"Almost" makes my soul crumple
It's never enough, never quenching, never fulfilling
Yet...
I feel so full I could burst

i have no sanity anymore.
none.
instead, I'm fighting a civil war.
it can't be won.
i can't seem to vent to you.
why should i come to anyone?
why would i come to anyone..
if instead i can just take out my knife..
i hope and pray that maybe someday
my name will no longer mean life.
staying alive is harder than ever now.
oh, i would definitely go to you..
if i knew how.
so instead i just sit here,
waiting on the day..
the day that i'll come to you
with knowledge of the right words to say.

years absorb days
waiting for life's word -
moment when
creaking doors open
providing peace

days follow night
dank dismissive disdain
lone refrain soaking
soft dark soil
inviting release

was it in snow's soft folds
stark charcoal sketches
scratching sheets of white

or garish cacophony of
rude spring's play

maybe summer's
hedonistic obsession
bursting searing blight

or praps the weeping fall
resigned to decay

no... not there
not anywhere 'out there'

one day it ceased
incessant primordial
wail for absent breast
laid bare

grow up
stand tall
forgive
outlive

undo the latch
let newness breathe
let go lament and
choose to Live!

Not I myself know all my love for thee:
How should I reach so far, who cannot weigh
To-morrow’s dower by gage of yesterday?
Shall birth and death, and all dark names that be
As doors and windows bared to some loud sea,
Lash deaf mine ears and blind my face with spray;
And shall my sense pierce love,—the last relay
And ultimate outpost of eternity?

Lo! what am I to Love, the lord of all?
One murmuring shell he gathers from the sand,—
One little heart-flame sheltered in his hand.
Yet through thine eyes he grants me clearest call
And veriest touch of powers primordial
That any hour-girt life may understand.

despite everything, stay with me
(even if it is just here in this world)
share hazelnuts music with me
dissect the seconds
make the morning turn more pink
and intertwine the noontide smells with me
together – beg in me for evening
thank the candlelight and afterwards
lay your skin on mine

listen, let me protect you and whisper
as if I am an orphanage
without laws, rod or anguish

just for the pleasure of whispering