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Shades31 Jan 2017
Sometimes when I sit alone
I realise how far I've fallen
Sometimes I try to desperately climb out
Other times I crave the darkness

And mockingly, it gives me a light
As if to say, "here, try and climb"
Knowing full well, despite my efforts
There's nothing to grab hold of

And slowly, I realise;
In my pit of hell
It's easier to fall
Than to try and climb out
Escape is not an option. Not alone. I need help...I need her...
Shades31 Jan 2017
I don't know what to write about you
You are so mysterious, yet alluring
You invite me in, but show me nothing
Of your soul, or of your mind

And now I look at you and hope
To see something of who you are
'Cause it's picking at me constantly
This lovely person who exists in you

You have so much, yet use none
You prefer to live like a commoner
Yet you're a princess
And while I'm just a servant-boy
I can't help but be enthralled by you

The most beautiful girl in all the land
Not in looks, or anything so mundane
But the beauty that lies within
Of which I have heard of, but never seen

You were my best friend as a child
We spent so much time together
You grew up to follow your family's line
I grew up to follow mine

And yet, despite having known you back then
I feel like you are not the same
You were so playful and so foolish
And now, you're all grown up,
A lovely women who hides herself from the shadows
Of the darkness of men who come
To ask for your hand in marriage,
But only because you're a princess

You remember when we were kids
How we used to hide
Whenever we were called?
How you used to jump on my back,
And I carried you around?
How you jumped on my bed in the mornings
To wake me up before sunrise?
And as teenagers, at sunrise
So we could sit up and watch it together?
And how you'd fall asleep soon after
On my shoulder, on the grass

I have loved you for so long
Not because you're a princess
But because of who you were
And what you showed
But you refuse to show the world
The truth about your soul
Of your mind that thinks such beauty
Of what the world could be
That is why I love you
That is why I care
Know that I will love you,
Even if you're not as beautiful
Even if not as smart
As long as you remain the girl
Who you used to be - so playful,
So kind, and wonderfully so.
Dear Princess, I know that I'm not worthy
Of your love, or even gaze

You don't like me saying "princess"?
Why, friend, is that so?
"I'm not really a princess,
In your head, I am, though.
And though you treat me as one,
And say you'd be a servant in my kingdom,
I am not.
I'm not because princesses don't fall for servant boys
And I … I love you"
Shades31 Jan 2017
Open your eyes, look around
Try to listen for a sound
Find the one who knows you best
Who'd love you much more than the rest

Know you truly, to your core
What your life on earth is for
Why you're still not lying dead
Upon a stone-cold, rocky bed

Who she is, you'll never know
A love within will never grow
Appreciate her, you can't do
But she tries to dearly still love you

You won't love her back, you deny
She seems to all, around you, shy
She always tries to make you smile
But you still let her flow down the Nile

So there she goes, she ends up far
You start looking for the North Star
You cannot find her, so you start to cry
You question yourself, you're asking "Why?"

You miss her, you yearn
And you start to burn
You need her by your side
You claim that you have died

Without her you are nothing
She is what makes you something
You start to hate yourself for it
You scream aloud, hate every bit

Alone you wonder, cold and lost
Through the desert, through the frost
You need to find her, apologise
You start to hate yourself - despise

Eventually you catch her scent
The time which you had, searching, spent
You claim was surely not a waste
But with poison was that aroma laced

You see her there, your smile is huge
You realise you were a scrooge
You start to race towards this girl
You see in her hair, every curl

Your heart is pounding, you face alight
You cannot believe she's in your sight
But as she starts to laugh, you see
Another guy makes her happy

You see now that you're such a dunce
The chance with her came only once
You ******* it up, and she ain't yours
But still you, in her, see no flaws

Your body freezes up, you're cold
You thought your actions had been bold
You realise you are a fool
That you had, to this girl, been cruel

You cannot move, you're rooted down
You see her look your way and frown
Then smiles a smile of great pity
She had once thought that you were witty

You cannot bear the sight, it hurts
You envy all of how this guy flirts
You loathe. You could have been there
With that girl - a beauty, rare...
inspired by Simrik's 'How to start writing poems'
Shades31 Jan 2017
I hate you
Loyal, you stay, though
Of course, you were never one
Very much set on impressing
Everyone around you
Yet, still, the thing is
Of all the people in this world
Ultimately, I got you
1st letter of every line
Shades31 Jan 2017
And I am lost
Now without you, as you
Don't look back
Help me to sink
Everything is dark
Realize - shadows around
Next thing you know
All light is gone
Maybe you'll remember
Every good time, and bad
I, however,
Stopped harbouring
You see, the thing is
United, I am with this girl
Still, you come back, but she
Rose to help me, as I fell
And maybe I'll tell you her name one day
Shades31 Dec 2016
Standing
alone
Darkness
and flame
Devoured
his soul
Crippled
and maim
Losing
his mind
as shadows
take over
Losing
all luck
like a small
four-leaf clover
Consumed
by fire,
turning
to ash
A fool
with bounty
turned in
for cash
Betrayed,
back-stabbed
and left
to die
"You were
ignorant
Now you wonder
why...?"
"You trusted
too quickly
Trampled on
Used
Demotivated
Attacked
Demoralised
Abused"
"You wanted
out
but got dragged
back in
Trying
to shout
but end up
in sin"
"One day
there was
a pure
little child
who, when
he passed you
always smiled
Until
the day
he stood
in the meadow
A flame
appeared
Engulfed him
in shadow
Smoke,
impure
as black
as death
destroyed
his body
like crystal
****.
It looked
to him
like help
arrived
And so
into
the flames
he dived
For a
short while
he took
comfort
until
he saw
he had been
hurt"
His body
turned
into a
crisp
His soul
into a
will-o-wisp
Existed
in
this world
no more
Burnt
it all -
to his
core
until
he had
to eventually
succumb
to the freedom
of drugs
which made him
numb
He lost
his sense
of feeling -
pain
No longer
could he,
greatness
attain
His life
was turned
round 'n
round
until he
wound up
in the
ground
Mentally
- emotionally -
lost,
distorted
Physically
beat
body
contorted
Stuffed
in a hole
Forgotten
about
His very
existence,
a topic
of doubt
Lost in a
world
of shadow
and pain
Where the one
source of light
is the one thing
that drains
Despite
the blazing
flames'
heat
his body -
stiffed
in icy
defeat
A light
so dark
it dis-
emboweled
a kid
who now
from centre
howled
Whose body
was now
completely
disfigured
Whose soul
became
utterly
dismembered
Devoured
by
cannibal -
butcher
He lost
the way
towards
a future
Smog
and smoke
that cloud
his sight
He ended
up
upon a
great height
He knew
that he
had lost
the fight
Below him
was
an ocean
of white
His only option
was to
fall
For there was
no way
to, down
crawl
He stood
staring
at his
defeat
The oceans
were to
about, him
eat
A soft,
sweet land
up in
the sky
Until
you fall
right through
and die
By water
or by
solid
ground
His fate
and soul
were now
unbound
The white
turned to
a sinister
grey
This was
to be
his final
day
And then
to black
did they
then changed
He knew
that this
would be
a dange'
A scorching,
deep flame
from it
arose
And just
like magma
on earth
flows
And like
Abraham
before
the king
But in
contrast
this fire
will cling
And no
small ant
will come
him save
No place
for him
to find
safe have'
A leap
of faith
over
the cliff
His body
turning
lame
from stiff
"Avoid
the flame
into
the river"
His strong
life-force
now slowly
wither
Trying
to hold
the land
in the sky
He thought
to himself
"I'm too young
to die"
As slowly
through clouds
his body
fell
Into
the flames -
the pit
of hell
And like
Moses
before
the sea
Except
that he
would drown
and be
lost
to thought
and mem-
ory
He wanted
to
die eas-
ily
And like
Lot's wife
who turned
on back
Instead
of coals
It was
haze - black
That turned
him back
into
the dust
"This 's what
I get
for over-
trust"
His life
will end
in a
swift fall
The fire
which
promises
all -
The world,
money,
drugs
and fame.
But
truthfully
it is
just flame
He trusted
it
and let
them steal
all his
life
seemed-innocent
deal
Filled
with regret
as slowly
he sinks
It will
be over
soon 's he
blinks
Fading
Dying
It's time
to go
They took
it all
but just
for show
He was then
placed
6-feet
under
and from
the world
did they
him sunder
Thanks to ThePoet/Sarah Ahmed for the inspiration to part of this poem (and to many other of my poetry)
Shades31 Dec 2016
And yet it seems despite
The obvious presence of light
That surrounds my very being
The dark is what I'm seeing
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