Half-weight from battlefields frontline
defending your honor like it's my homeland;
And you say that I never fight...every single time
that I am everything, everything...but gallant

It's been
1,987,200 seconds
33,120 minutes
552 hours
23 days
3 weeks and 2 days
6.28% of 2024
without you

The world becomes quiet, yet hustling
It's like the space and time is warped
everything seems small and suffocating
Most of the time, I am fine
Not remembering is fine
Ignorance make me alright

But every now and then
You come pop in my head just like that
And I'm back to square one
Rejecting any food
Cannot smile
Chaos intensify

World falling apart
Grieving for the living
Attending the burial of sweetness
Everything we built, you built
I crashed it like a car

It's been
1,987,200 seconds
33,120 minutes
552 hours
23 days
3 weeks and 2 days
6.28% of 2024
yet I'm back again to the first morning
without you

So I'm telling myself
Of those 1039 days...I'm letting go
I'm letting you go
Step by step
One second at a time...

Fair flair,
black hair
I've sought him everywhere 
and now he's right there

Almond eyes,
warm smile
I'm a dim light
but he makes me shine

Hard wrists,
soft lips
I'm a red-rose cheek
'cause he's so unique

Blue shirt,
witty words
My last and my first
for the better and for the worse.

When you finally
make up your mind,
don't you worry about me,
I'll be fine

Moving on
is something I've been doing
my whole life,
so I'll be fine, I'll be fine.

The red I see on these cheeks
is made from the very same red on your sleeves
a piercing bravery indeed,
a significant tribute to weep

The blue I see on this sky sheltering us
is brighter than the shades of blue you were feeling
when leaving your loved ones to the battlefield,
but the sorrow and grief of seeing your falling
make us stands with unity,
brought us together like beautiful autumn leaves

The yellow I see in this sparkling sunlight
is the same yellow,
the very kind of glow
that you put on our faces with your upbringing,
for you marched your way in
with peace instead of calamity

The white I see on this coat I'm wearing
is made out of purity and safety you gave us
Your sacrifice, your woeful plight
is the reasons for our independence,
the very reason that make us invincible

I'll protect you of your hopes and will from being taken ill
And in turn of your treacherous path, a one risky feat,
rest assure comrade,
this sacred ground is still as lucky
you can forever and always rest peacefully.

June was yellow
Then there's you
Turning all mellows
Into golden hue

The flame in your hair
The way you stop and stare
How you always finds a way
I just know that you're gonna stay

Hours feels like seconds
You touched me, tho I'm distant
It's not love, it's something unfathomable
I always go astray, but never thought I'd ended up home

It's sparkling whenever you come around
The whole world turns magical,
I see dragons, I see witches and wizards
You yield weapons but we're not fighting

And I don't need mirror now
I just see the reflection of mine through the lens of your eyes
She's loving, she's nice, beautiful, all the best thing a girl could be
For once, I feel this is the realest version of me

If not the love we desperately sought,
what else could ache more?
Even a pluviophile would take cover
from a torrential downpour...

It's you.
It's me.
It's us.

because of us,
this world is dying,
this world is sick,
so what if
this pandemic
is a just a calling
for our own greed?

i feel i feel i feel
none of it was real
i am sitting on the floor
right where you left me

i think i think i think
it was all in my head, it cannot be real
i am right where you left me
with questions you never cared to heed

"how was your day?"
how have you been?
two questions, with only one answer
always me, you...never

"is there any problems?"
why are you frowning?
i lay it all on the table
you say it was none of my business

i feel i feel i feel
none of it was real
i am lying on the bed i made
right where i left "you"

i think i think i think
it was all in my head, this cannot be real
why am i here, where i left you?
i have no answers, you never cared to give

you said you did not understand
said it was my lack of communication
my flaws were like a communal service
and my queries were confrontational...i guess

like when you undress me in the evening
while you were fully-clothed all night
used to say i kept hiding
but it was me, you never fully trust in...

i feel i feel i feel
none of it was real
i am standing on the spot you missed
right where we left us

i think i think i think
it was all in our heads, it was not real
why are we here, where we left us?
only one of us have the answer,
this time it is me:

you loved me so good,
you did not let me do it back

but love, is a two-sided coin
pennies for your thoughts
...which i never got

Poetry
Profound poetry
What does that mean?

Is it the surplus amount
of big words conjoined together
for a trade of a 'masterpiece' honouree?
Is it the simplest of words
drawn into each other
to paint such a beautiful imagery?
Or is it those blank spaces
that speak volume
about a person's well being?

Poetry
Profound poetry
What does that even mean?

silence could never calm
that of
which is maimed;
fairly to make heard of
the shattering
that would not mend.

You're the one running
yet I'm the one...
who's out of my breath

I used to love you,
but not anymore.

Now I hate you
more than ever,
more than before.

How could you
take the life
that matter most to me,
away from me?

Shady goodbye, lie to me,
Pick out a fight, make me bleed.

Lock your feelings,
and put the keys
in tall places
I could never reach.

Forget me,
for a suffocating breathe.

Aspirin and a bridge
they were never a relief.
I thought you were
smarter than this.

Leave me to wear a halo,
to a place I could never follow.

Stay with me,
that was a promise.
But what is a promise,
if you can't keep it..?

Say you have nobody,
and now I lost a family.

Happy twenty-three,
hope you get your peace.
Sorry for this sudden weep,
I just miss you, sis.

My laundry didn't fall off the clothesline
Today was windy and the sun shines
Cheers to small victories!