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izzn Sep 2020
In an ocean of people,
keep on floating.
izzn Jan 2021
love, what does it good for?
I'm searching for the enthrals
I've been dying...
I've been falling...
deep in the abyss of faded loves

hurt, ain't that what we all feel?
a small price to pay for a living in return
I think that bad comes in tides
cascading through the walls
and tarnish what's already broken inside

longing, longing, I've been waiting for you
sipping, drinking, sleeping
from the dawn till afternoon
u can take all the time you want to come here
'cause I'm numb, yeah all this pain now,
is what I'm used to
and by the time you knock,
I'd be so far away from home,
who knows after all this time,
it's not that hard
to find the joy in dancing alone

thrilling feeling reeling through the ceiling
I've been feeling lesser of a human being
I know I should be myself,
but I'm still tryna figure out
who the hell is she
hope she doesn't sing
the same anthem as me
or act as if she's some kind of
mystical canary

it's 4 am
I'm deluding again
I try to try to be sane
is haunting me again
is daunting me again
is spinning me
out of the orbit
too far to catch up with,
lying on this concrete still

maybe this is all just a dream.
izzn Aug 2020
Being alone
can feel so lonely sometimes,
so won't you
be alone together
with me?
izzn Dec 2020
withering smile
fractured skin
dimming moobeam

i grab a pen
and a napkin
cut my words deep
until i bleed
basked in poetries
soak up in blood
this'd be the death of me
and it hurt me,
hurt me so good.
izzn Jul 2019
In the heat of this summer
that feels like a December,
My coffee tastes sweeter
through these salty briny tears.
izzn Dec 2020
π˜°π‘›π‘’ π‘ β„Žπ‘’π‘’π‘, π˜΅π‘€π˜° π‘ β„Žπ‘’π‘’π‘π‘ , π˜΅β„Žπ˜³π‘’π‘’ π‘ β„Žπ‘’π‘’π‘π‘ 
πͺ𝝀𝗨 𝗖𝝖𝝒𝗧 π–π—Ÿπ—ͺ𝝖πͺ𝗦 𝗗𝝀 π—§π—›πš°π—¦ 𝗧𝝀 π— π—˜,
𝚰'𝗠 𝝖 π—šπ—₯𝝀π—ͺ𝝒 𝗠𝝖𝝒 π–π—Ÿπ—₯π—˜π–π——πͺ!

π˜΅β„Žπ‘’ π‘π‘™π˜°π‘’π‘‘π‘  π‘™π˜°π˜°π‘˜ π‘ π˜° 𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑒 π˜΅π˜°π‘‘π‘Žπ‘¦, π‘ π‘˜π‘¦ 𝑖𝑠 π‘ π˜° 𝑏𝑙𝑒𝑒
π—Ÿπ€π€π—ž 𝝖𝗧 πͺ𝝀𝗨π—₯ π—©π€πš°π—–π—˜,
π—ͺ𝗛𝝀 𝗗𝝀 πͺ𝝀𝗨 π—§π—›πš°π’π—ž πͺ𝝀𝗨'π—₯π—˜ π—§π–π—Ÿπ—žπš°π’π—š 𝗧𝝀?!

𝑖 π‘€π˜°π‘›π‘‘π‘’π˜³ π‘€β„Žπ‘Žπ˜΅ π˜΅π‘–π‘šπ‘’ 𝑖𝑠 π‘–π˜΅ π‘›π˜°π‘€
𝗙𝝀π—₯ 𝗧π—ͺπ—˜π’π—§πͺ-π€π’π—˜ πͺπ—˜π–π—₯𝗦, 𝗙𝝀π—₯ 𝗧π—ͺπ—˜π’π—§πͺ-π€π’π—˜ πͺπ—˜π–π—₯𝗦,
𝚰'π—©π—˜ π—•π—˜π—˜π’ π——π€πš°π’π—š π—˜π—©π—˜π—₯πͺπ—§π—›πš°π’π—š πͺ𝝀𝗨 π—§π€π—Ÿπ—— π— π—˜ 𝗧𝝀, π—ͺ𝝀π—ͺ!

π˜΅β„Žπ˜°π‘ π‘’ πŸ‘π‘–π‘’π‘™π‘‘π‘  𝘰🝑 π˜¨π˜³π‘Žπ‘ π‘  π‘™π˜°π˜°π‘˜π‘  π‘ π˜° π‘ π˜°πŸ‘π˜΅
πͺ𝝀𝗨 𝝖𝝒𝗗 πͺ𝝀𝗨π—₯ π—˜π—«π—£π—˜π—–π—§π–π—§πš°π€π’π—¦, πͺ𝝀𝗨 𝝖𝝒𝗗 πͺ𝝀𝗨π—₯
'π—ͺ𝗛𝝖𝗧 π—ͺπš°π—Ÿπ—Ÿ π—£π—˜π€π—£π—Ÿπ—˜ 𝗦𝝖πͺ? π—ͺ𝗛𝝖𝗧'𝗗 π—•π—˜ π—§π—›π—˜πš°π—₯ π—§π—›π€π—¨π—šπ—›π—§π—¦?'!

π˜°β„Ž, π˜΅β„Žπ‘Žπ˜΅ π‘˜π‘–π‘‘ π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ β„Žπ‘’π˜³ π‘šπ˜°π˜΅β„Žπ‘’π˜³, β„Žπ˜°π‘€ 𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑒
π—ͺπ—˜ π€π’π—Ÿπͺ π—ͺ𝝖𝝒𝗧 π—§π—›π—˜ π—•π—˜π—¦π—§ 𝗙𝝀π—₯ πͺ𝝀𝗨, π—ͺ𝗛πͺ 𝗖𝝖𝝒'𝗧 πͺ𝝀𝗨 π—¨π’π——π—˜π—₯𝗦𝗧𝝖𝝒𝗗, π—ͺ𝗛πͺ 𝗖𝝖𝝒'𝗧 πͺ𝝀𝗨 π—šπ—˜π—§ 𝗧𝗛𝝖𝗧 π—₯πš°π—šπ—›π—§?!

π˜΅β„Žπ˜°π‘ π‘’ π‘π‘–π˜³π‘‘π‘  π‘šπ‘’π‘ π˜΅ 𝑏𝑒 β„Žπ˜°π˜΅ 🝑𝘰𝘳 πŸ‘π‘™π‘¦π‘–π‘›π˜¨ π‘’π‘›π‘‘π‘’π˜³ π˜΅β„Žπ‘’ 𝑠𝑒𝑛 🝑𝘰𝘳 π‘€π‘Žπ‘¦ 𝘡𝘰𝘰 π‘™π˜°π‘›π˜¨
π€π—§π—›π—˜π—₯ π—£π—˜π€π—£π—Ÿπ—˜ 𝗗𝝀𝝒'𝗧 𝗗𝝀 π—§π—›πš°π—¦ 𝗧𝝀 π—§π—›π—˜πš°π—₯ π—–π—›πš°π—Ÿπ——π—₯π—˜π’,
π—ͺ𝗛𝝖𝗧 πͺ𝝀𝗨'π—₯π—˜ π——π€πš°π’π—š πš°π—¦ π—ͺπ—₯π€π’π—š!

π˜΅β„Žπ˜°π‘ π‘’ π‘šπ˜°π‘’π‘›π˜΅π‘Žπ‘–π‘›π‘ ...β„Žπ‘šπ‘š β„Žπ‘–π‘˜π‘–π‘›π˜¨ π‘ π˜°π‘’π‘›π‘‘π‘  𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑒
𝝒𝝀 π—ͺπ€π’π——π—˜π—₯ π—›π—˜ π—Ÿπ—˜π—™π—§ 𝗨𝗦, πš°π—§'𝗦 π—•π—˜π—–π–π—¨π—¦π—˜ 𝝀𝗙 πͺ𝝀𝗨π—₯ π—™π–π—¨π—Ÿπ—§,
πͺ𝝀𝗨 π—™π–πš°π—Ÿπ—˜π——, 𝝖𝝒𝗗 𝝒𝝀π—ͺ, π—¦π—˜π—˜ π—§π—›π—˜ 𝗣π—₯πš°π—–π—˜!

π˜΅β„Žπ‘–π‘  π˜³π‘–π‘£π‘’π˜³ 𝑖𝑠 π‘ π˜° π‘π‘Žπ‘™π‘š...π‘€β„Žπ‘Žπ˜΅ π‘–πŸ‘ π‘’π‘›π‘‘π‘’π˜³π‘›π‘’π‘Žπ˜΅β„Ž π˜΅β„Žπ‘’π˜³π‘’ 𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑠 π‘‘π‘’π‘Žπ‘‘π‘™π‘¦Β Β π‘π˜³π˜°π‘π‘ ?
𝗛𝝀π—ͺ 𝗗𝝖π—₯π—˜ πͺ𝝀𝗨, πͺ𝝀𝗨 π—–π€π—¨π—Ÿπ—— 𝝒𝝀𝗧 π—˜π—©π—˜π’ π—–π€π— π—˜ π—–π—Ÿπ€π—¦π—˜ 𝗧𝝀 π—›πš°π— ,
πͺ𝝀𝗨 π’π—˜π—©π—˜π—₯ π—§π€π€π—ž π—Ÿπ—˜π—¦π—¦π€π’ 𝗙π—₯𝝀𝗠 𝝖𝝒πͺπ—§π—›πš°π’π—š π—ͺπ—˜ π—§π–π—¨π—šπ—›π—§!

π‘šπ‘Žπ‘¦π‘π‘’ π‘–πŸ‘ π˜΅β„Žπ‘’π‘¦ π˜΅π˜°π˜°π‘˜ π‘Ž π‘π‘’π˜΅π˜΅π‘’π˜³ π‘π‘Žπ˜³π‘’ 𝘰🝑 π˜΅β„Žπ‘’ πŸ‘π‘™π˜°π‘€π‘’π˜³π‘ ,
π‘–π˜΅ π‘€π˜°π‘›'𝘡 π‘€π‘–π‘™π˜΅ π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π‘€β„Žπ‘–π˜΅β„Žπ‘’π˜³ π‘™π‘–π‘˜π‘’ π˜΅β„Žπ‘Žπ˜΅,
π‘šπ‘Žπ‘¦π‘π‘’ π˜΅β„Žπ‘’ π‘€π˜°π˜³π‘ π‘’ π‘π˜°π‘’π‘™π‘‘ 𝑏𝑒 π˜³π‘’π‘£π‘’π˜³π‘ π‘’π‘‘ 𝑖𝑛 π˜³π‘’π˜΅π‘’π˜³π‘›...
"""𝗖𝝖𝝒'𝗧 πͺ𝝀𝗨 𝐉𝗨𝗦𝗧 π—™π—–π—žπš°π’π—š 𝗦𝗛𝗨𝗧 𝗨𝗣 𝗙𝝀π—₯ 𝝖 π— π€π— π—˜π’π—§?!"""
a long way home
izzn Jan 2021
404 leads to your flaws
302 you perched from the dark
211 'cause you steal my heart
101 you got me all enthralled
500 when I see you from afar
220 honey, that's what you are
508 of you, I should be warned
381, well 143 is too typical
224 mad easy, 'cause you're so lovable
dedicated to no one in particular,
or at least
not yet :)
izzn Jul 2019
I'd never wish the worst of you.
I could never do,
or even think of that,
not after all the broken memories
that I thought to have shared
with you;

...but I'm tired of lying,
Lying to everyone,
Lying to you,
And lying to myself
You need to understand that
I can't lie to myself anymore

You swore not to tell a soul,
Yet you told them my secrets,
You acted innocent,
while playing the victim;
and when they didn't fall for your senile wiles,
you coat your rumors
with 'truths' of me
abandoning my moral and dignity

You said you're not like the rest,
Said that you're my friend,
even worse,
my real friend,
my only good friend,
...and I accepted you
as a best friend,
and put all my friendships
to an end...

It's excruciating
Realizing you want benefits,
not of my doubts,
but of my friends,
****** them like a robbery,
while I foolishly
thought of the world for you;
....and so it was all me to blame,
it was me to shame...

but now,
I'm done with your tyranny
And like the song be,
I stole the key
and that was the last time
you ever saw me

I hope you find your place
But we could never go back
to where we used to before
And I still want to see you eat
though it ain't with me anymore

I had to leave you.
For you,
and for the good of me
And I need to go to where I should be,
Home of the allies
and not the tent of an enemy
I can't be the one to keep saying sorry
just to resolve the scenery
and you never apologize
but I forgave you already
even 'till this evening
You're you and I'm me

I can hear you whispering
that I'd regret this
as it is written
all over your expression
It is not my intention
to make you mad
but again,
why should I be sad
of losing a friend
that I never had?
The biggest crime of yours is that whenever I see your face, the memories rushed my brain so vividly, stab my heart impaling my soul. The biggest crime of yours is that you saved me just to dread me of it.
izzn Jan 2021
If I can't have your poems,
I'll just read all the comments you left;
it's the only way for me to
unmiss you...
but truly my lovely poetess,
how do you do?
izzn Nov 2020
You give me purpose
but I can't live up to it...
izzn Jul 26
i know you're out there
maybe painting poems
using hues thru journeys
on your life canvas

while you're strolling through
the decadency of 'ups and downs'
a chess piece once called blue
hope you'll be back around

i'm writing this memoir
in hope you can hear these lines
in hope you know,
i hope you are foreverly alright
there was a great poet here
but i dont see her around
izzn Apr 2020
Let the echoes in your heart
be the guide for your way home.
izzn Apr 2021
I remember Malibu
in indigo
The sky sheltering me
was blushing
all over the atmosphere
tryna hide the rose-oiled clouds
but to no avail

I remember Kiwi Land
in its coarse sand
The ocean dissolving itself
trying to meet the land
and I almost swam away
when You were giving me
the upper-hand

I remember KLIA
in the scent of marmalade
Citrus-fresh and borderlines citing
in every pre-departure
I'm an intricate mess,
I was flying
to the points of no return

I remember Manila
in the taste of gelato vanilla
My heart tasted just as soft,
but now I indulge in its bitterness
but even long before seven,
You are the One
that brings joy to my happiness

I remember Jeju
in the form of spicy bulgogi
Savoured upon me,
the heaven in hell I could not resist
for I lost myself in translation
over a trend
I can't keep up with

and I remember Medan
in its harmonious melody
playing the tune
of my awakening,
where the path led me
to the missing notes in my every song,
to the missing lines in my every poetry;

Turns out
the becauses
to my whys
has been You all along,
and that is my
To whom can a heart long if it's not its Creator?
izzn Jan 2021
I've waited for you
for my whole life
Almost eighteen,
and I'm tryna love myself

I'll keep on hoping,
put my love on the line
'cause love don't come running,
they arrive just in time

I've longed for you
for all the times I could remember
Those future memories with you,
are what keeps me going further

And my faith
is getting less blind
'cause I believe soon you'll arrive,
maybe in a year or five

I've prayed to God
for your descendant
Through times of
storms and tribulations

When things gets hard,
I'll be just fine
'cause I know you'll arrive
and it'll all be alright

I'll wait for you
for far more times
I'll lurk out the windows,
just give me the sign

Five years
of caged butterflies
and one day
you'll come arrive.
I just realized that I have this poem in my draft since I had just turned 17!
Might as well post it, it's 1:43.
izzn May 2020
Leaves rustles
Wind gushes all over me
I'm finally at the peak
I really miss going on for a hike. Well, if you couldn't manage to hike, at least you can write, amirite?
izzn Jun 2019
Fair flair,
black hair
I'veΒ sought himΒ everywhereΒ 
and now he's right there

Almond eyes,
warm smile
I'mΒ a dim light
butΒ he makes meΒ shine

Hard wrists,
soft lips
I'm a red-rose cheek
'cause he's so unique

Blue shirt,
witty words
My last and my first
for the better and for the worse.
I never knew you were the someone
I've waited for my whole life.
izzn Mar 2020
When you finally
make up your mind,
don't you worry about me,
I'll be fine

Moving on
is something I've been doing
my whole life,
so I'll be fine, I'll be fine.
Gotta accept that it is what it is.
izzn Aug 2020
The red I see on these cheeks
is made from the very same red on your sleeves
a piercing bravery indeed,
a significant tribute to weep

The blue I see on this sky sheltering us
is brighter than the shades of blue you were feeling
when leaving your loved ones to the battlefield,
but the sorrow and grief of seeing your falling
make us stands with unity,
brought us together like beautiful autumn leaves

The yellow I see in this sparkling sunlight
is the same yellow,
the very kind of glow
that you put on our faces with your upbringing,
for you marched your way in
with peace instead of calamity

The white I see on this coat I'm wearing
is made out of purity and safety you gave us
Your sacrifice, your woeful plight
is the reasons for our independence,
the very reason that make us invincible

I'll protect you of your hopes and will from being taken ill
And in turn of your treacherous path, a one risky feat,
rest assure comrade,
this sacred ground is still as lucky
you can forever and always rest peacefully.
A poem for the people who made this nation of what it is today <3
izzn Jul 26
June was yellow
Then there's you
Turning all mellows
Into golden hue

The flame in your hair
The way you stop and stare
How you always finds a way
I just know that you're gonna stay

Hours feels like seconds
You touched me, tho I'm distant
It's not love, it's something unfathomable
I always go astray, but never thought I'd ended up home

It's sparkling whenever you come around
The whole world turns magical,
I see dragons, I see witches and wizards
You yield weapons but we're not fighting

And I don't need mirror now
I just see the reflection of mine through the lens of your eyes
She's loving, she's nice, beautiful, all the best thing a girl could be
For once, I feel this is the realest version of me
to know who's this dedicated to, read the syllables from backwards
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