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1d · 26
checkmated
izzn 1d
you coax me in my turbulent nights
you keep me tight under the sheets
you hold me through the days
you let me rest and relax
you tell me to be carefree
you showed me freedom
you made me rest my pieces
that no risk need to be calculated
or so it seems

little did i know
your stomach was kept full when i lose appetite
the midnight oil was burnt for the sake of your future
you trade my property for treasure
you drove my car, convince me i don't need a license
you turn my life around and make it yours
you overrun my house, made me felt i was at home

your comfort, safety,
the rest, time and space you offered me
was your building blocks to a self-made reverie
a better bigger you, and the little old me
you practise and practise
while i eschew all plans for you
you decide to rebrand everything new
puzzles and chess
and when it all collides
when i see what conspires
too late for the afflicted
****, i am checkmated
izzn 1d
and here i am,
sitting on my own
eating the food i cook for two
just pretending that you went for a vacation...for a very long time
6d · 124
Love Rain
izzn 6d
If not the love we desperately sought,
what else could ache more?
Even a pluviophile would take cover
from a torrential downpour...
P L U V I O P H I L E
[ ploo-vee-uh-fahyl ] noun. a person who enjoys rain and rainy days, and who is fascinated by the sights, sounds, etc., of rain.
Jan 16 · 61
Cold Shower
izzn Jan 16
.       .       .       .       .       .
.    .    .    .    .    .    .    .
drops and drops trickling
.       .       .       .       .       .
.    .    .    .    .    .    .    .
caressing my body
.       .       .       .       .       .
.    .    .    .    .    .    .    .
— A brief moment of clarity —
.       .       .       .       .       .
.    .    .    .    .    .    .    .
Jan 2023 · 145
Run
izzn Jan 2023
Run
You're the one running
yet I'm the one...
who's out of my breath
"and run, like you run from the law..."
<3
Nov 2022 · 235
Stellar of Sirius
izzn Nov 2022
He is where my eyes fixated upon
like stellar of Sirius pending midnights
radiantly flickering but never to blind.
<3
Jul 2022 · 570
Our Poem
izzn Jul 2022
It's you.
It's me.
It's us.
<3
Jul 2022 · 110
dear sky,
izzn Jul 2022
i know you're out there
maybe painting poems
using hues thru journeys
on your life canvas

while you're strolling through
the decadency of 'ups and downs'
a chess piece once called blue
hope you'll be back around

i'm writing this memoir
in hope you can hear these lines
in hope you know,
i hope you are foreverly alright
there was a great poet here
but i dont see her around
skylar
Jul 2022 · 118
July, é
izzn Jul 2022
June was yellow
Then there's you
Turning all mellows
Into golden hue

The flame in your hair
The way you stop and stare
How you always finds a way
I just know that you're gonna stay

Hours feels like seconds
You touched me, tho I'm distant
It's not love, it's something unfathomable
I always go astray, but never thought I'd ended up home

It's sparkling whenever you come around
The whole world turns magical,
I see dragons, I see witches and wizards
You yield weapons but we're not fighting

And I don't need mirror now
I just see the reflection of mine through the lens of your eyes
She's loving, she's nice, beautiful, all the best thing a girl could be
For once, I feel this is the realest version of me
to know who's this dedicated to, read the syllables from backwards
Jun 2022 · 462
quietly hearing
izzn Jun 2022
silence could never calm
that of
which is maimed;
fairly to make heard of
the shattering
that would not mend.
5 years and every time i close my eyes it feels like i was back at that time again
Oct 2021 · 601
when time stops by
izzn Oct 2021
you will come back
in every five seconds
in every five minutes
in every five round clock
in every five changing snowdrops
on the pavement
eon of epoch, your tardy shortcomings and
my in-sync horology

still i wait for you,
and sundial
of your promise

you will come back
in every winter
in every summer
in every spring
in every fall
weathervane foreverly prevail

still i wait for you,
with glimmering eyes
and avalanching hopes

you will come back
in every monday
in every wednesday
in every friday
in every sight of sadderdaze
a repertoire of mystical moments
per diem of price

still i will wait for you,
in every sunrise,
in every twilight
Re: Tiramisu

"Good girls, hopeful they'll be
and long they will wait"

p/s: my fav poems about waiting are mostly by
-taylor swift
-emily dickinson
Jun 2021 · 380
Yellow
izzn Jun 2021
It's like a halo burned in an open field,
asking where's the revelation
when it lies on your desk

It's kind of yellow contradiction thing,
saying "I'm trying"
but you're not quite there yet

And it's "I don't know" purged off of your lips,
thinking maybe one day
it'll all get better instead.
"Yellow is associated with joy, happiness, intellect and energy, yet it is also an unstable colour linked with cowardice and mental illness"
Apr 2021 · 297
Epiphany
izzn Apr 2021
I remember Malibu
in indigo
The sky sheltering me
was blushing
all over the atmosphere
tryna hide the rose-oiled clouds
but to no avail

I remember Kiwi Land
in its coarse sand
The ocean dissolving itself
trying to meet the land
and I almost swam away
when You were giving me
the upper-hand

I remember KLIA
in the scent of marmalade
Citrus-fresh and borderlines citing
in every pre-departure
I'm an intricate mess,
I was flying
to the points of no return

I remember Manila
in the taste of gelato vanilla
My heart tasted just as soft,
but now I indulge in its bitterness
but even long before seven,
You are the One
that brings joy to my happiness

I remember Jeju
in the form of spicy bulgogi
Savoured upon me,
the heaven in hell I could not resist
for I lost myself in translation
over a trend
I can't keep up with

and I remember Medan
in its harmonious melody
playing the tune
of my awakening,
where the path led me
to the missing notes in my every song,
to the missing lines in my every poetry;

Turns out
the becauses
to my whys
has been You all along,
and that is my
epiphany.
To whom can a heart long if it's not its Creator?
Mar 2021 · 171
Untitled
izzn Mar 2021
too sad to write
Jan 2021 · 184
Profound Poetry
izzn Jan 2021
Poetry
Profound poetry
What does that mean?

Is it the surplus amount
of big words conjoined together
for a trade of a 'masterpiece' honouree?
Is it the simplest of words
drawn into each other
to paint such a beautiful imagery?
Or is it those blank spaces
that speak volume
about a person's well being?

Poetry
Profound poetry
What does that even mean?
Jan 2021 · 285
cypher (a love letter)
izzn Jan 2021
404 leads to your flaws
302 you perched from the dark
211 'cause you steal my heart
101 you got me all enthralled
500 when I see you from afar
220 honey, that's what you are
508 of you, I should be warned
381, well 143 is too typical
224 mad easy, 'cause you're so lovable
dedicated to no one in particular,
or at least
not yet :)
hehe
Jan 2021 · 123
Five Years / Butterflies
izzn Jan 2021
I've waited for you
for my whole life
Almost eighteen,
and I'm tryna love myself

I'll keep on hoping,
put my love on the line
'cause love don't come running,
they arrive just in time

I've longed for you
for all the times I could remember
Those future memories with you,
are what keeps me going further

And my faith
is getting less blind
'cause I believe soon you'll arrive,
maybe in a year or five

I've prayed to God
for your descendant
Through times of
storms and tribulations

When things gets hard,
I'll be just fine
'cause I know you'll arrive
and it'll all be alright

I'll wait for you
for far more times
I'll lurk out the windows,
just give me the sign

Five years
of caged butterflies
and one day
you'll come arrive.
I just realized that I have this poem in my draft since I had just turned 17!
Might as well post it, it's 1:43.
Jan 2021 · 627
Dear Fawn,
izzn Jan 2021
If I can't have your poems,
I'll just read all the comments you left;
it's the only way for me to
unmiss you...
but truly my lovely poetess,
how do you do?
:(
Jan 2021 · 96
(untitled)
izzn Jan 2021
i don't want to scare u off like that
but i'm too, scared of myself
there's a monster in bed
with growls i cant get out of my head
Jan 2021 · 106
4 am
izzn Jan 2021
love, what does it good for?
I'm searching for the enthrals
I've been dying...
I've been falling...
deep in the abyss of faded loves

hurt, ain't that what we all feel?
a small price to pay for a living in return
I think that bad comes in tides
cascading through the walls
and tarnish what's already broken inside

longing, longing, I've been waiting for you
sipping, drinking, sleeping
from the dawn till afternoon
u can take all the time you want to come here
'cause I'm numb, yeah all this pain now,
is what I'm used to
and by the time you knock,
I'd be so far away from home,
who knows after all this time,
it's not that hard
to find the joy in dancing alone

thrilling feeling reeling through the ceiling
I've been feeling lesser of a human being
I know I should be myself,
but I'm still tryna figure out
who the hell is she
hope she doesn't sing
the same anthem as me
or act as if she's some kind of
mystical canary

it's 4 am
I'm deluding again
I try to try to be sane
everything
is haunting me again
everything
is daunting me again
everything
is spinning me
out of the orbit
too far to catch up with,
lying on this concrete still

maybe this is all just a dream.
Jan 2021 · 106
(untitled)
izzn Jan 2021
I dream of you
in colours you could never see
I talk about you
in language you could never speak
I think of you
in vision you could never imagine
but in changes
and in stagnant water,
I was wishing you'd be there too
in sparkles
and in dreary weather,
I was hoping you'd miss me too...
why do i even bother
Dec 2020 · 371
Bleeding Poetries
izzn Dec 2020
withering smile
fractured skin
dimming moobeam
hinting
tragedies

i grab a pen
and a napkin
cut my words deep
until i bleed
poetries
basked in poetries
soak up in blood
this'd be the death of me
and it hurt me,
hurt me so good.
Dec 2020 · 130
Car Rides
izzn Dec 2020
𝘰𝑛𝑒 𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑒𝑝, 𝘵𝑤𝘰 𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑠, 𝘵ℎ𝘳𝑒𝑒 𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑠
𝝪𝝤𝗨 𝗖𝝖𝝢𝗧 𝝖𝗟𝗪𝝖𝝪𝗦 𝗗𝝤 𝗧𝗛𝚰𝗦 𝗧𝝤 𝗠𝗘,
𝚰'𝗠 𝝖 𝗚𝗥𝝤𝗪𝝢 𝗠𝝖𝝢 𝝖𝗟𝗥𝗘𝝖𝗗𝝪!

𝘵ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑙𝘰𝑢𝑑𝑠 𝑙𝘰𝘰𝑘 𝑠𝘰 𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝘵𝘰𝑑𝑎𝑦, 𝑠𝑘𝑦 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝘰 𝑏𝑙𝑢𝑒
𝗟𝝤𝝤𝗞 𝝖𝗧 𝝪𝝤𝗨𝗥 𝗩𝝤𝚰𝗖𝗘,
𝗪𝗛𝝤 𝗗𝝤 𝝪𝝤𝗨 𝗧𝗛𝚰𝝢𝗞 𝝪𝝤𝗨'𝗥𝗘 𝗧𝝖𝗟𝗞𝚰𝝢𝗚 𝗧𝝤?!

𝑖 𝑤𝘰𝑛𝑑𝑒𝘳 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝘵 𝘵𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝘵 𝑛𝘰𝑤
𝗙𝝤𝗥 𝗧𝗪𝗘𝝢𝗧𝝪-𝝤𝝢𝗘 𝝪𝗘𝝖𝗥𝗦, 𝗙𝝤𝗥 𝗧𝗪𝗘𝝢𝗧𝝪-𝝤𝝢𝗘 𝝪𝗘𝝖𝗥𝗦,
𝚰'𝗩𝗘 𝗕𝗘𝗘𝝢 𝗗𝝤𝚰𝝢𝗚 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥𝝪𝗧𝗛𝚰𝝢𝗚 𝝪𝝤𝗨 𝗧𝝤𝗟𝗗 𝗠𝗘 𝗧𝝤, 𝗪𝝤𝗪!

𝘵ℎ𝘰𝑠𝑒 🝡𝑖𝑒𝑙𝑑𝑠 𝘰🝡 𝘨𝘳𝑎𝑠𝑠 𝑙𝘰𝘰𝑘𝑠 𝑠𝘰 𝑠𝘰🝡𝘵
𝝪𝝤𝗨 𝝖𝝢𝗗 𝝪𝝤𝗨𝗥 𝗘𝗫𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗧𝝖𝗧𝚰𝝤𝝢𝗦, 𝝪𝝤𝗨 𝝖𝝢𝗗 𝝪𝝤𝗨𝗥
'𝗪𝗛𝝖𝗧 𝗪𝚰𝗟𝗟 𝗣𝗘𝝤𝗣𝗟𝗘 𝗦𝝖𝝪? 𝗪𝗛𝝖𝗧'𝗗 𝗕𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝚰𝗥 𝗧𝗛𝝤𝗨𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗦?'!

𝘰ℎ, 𝘵ℎ𝑎𝘵 𝑘𝑖𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝘳 𝑚𝘰𝘵ℎ𝑒𝘳, ℎ𝘰𝑤 𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑒
𝗪𝗘 𝝤𝝢𝗟𝝪 𝗪𝝖𝝢𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗘𝗦𝗧 𝗙𝝤𝗥 𝝪𝝤𝗨, 𝗪𝗛𝝪 𝗖𝝖𝝢'𝗧 𝝪𝝤𝗨 𝗨𝝢𝗗𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗧𝝖𝝢𝗗, 𝗪𝗛𝝪 𝗖𝝖𝝢'𝗧 𝝪𝝤𝗨 𝗚𝗘𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝝖𝗧 𝗥𝚰𝗚𝗛𝗧?!

𝘵ℎ𝘰𝑠𝑒 𝑏𝑖𝘳𝑑𝑠 𝑚𝑢𝑠𝘵 𝑏𝑒 ℎ𝘰𝘵 🝡𝘰𝘳 🝡𝑙𝑦𝑖𝑛𝘨 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝘳 𝘵ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑛 🝡𝘰𝘳 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝑙𝘰𝑛𝘨
𝝤𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥 𝗣𝗘𝝤𝗣𝗟𝗘 𝗗𝝤𝝢'𝗧 𝗗𝝤 𝗧𝗛𝚰𝗦 𝗧𝝤 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝚰𝗥 𝗖𝗛𝚰𝗟𝗗𝗥𝗘𝝢,
𝗪𝗛𝝖𝗧 𝝪𝝤𝗨'𝗥𝗘 𝗗𝝤𝚰𝝢𝗚 𝚰𝗦 𝗪𝗥𝝤𝝢𝗚!

𝘵ℎ𝘰𝑠𝑒 𝑚𝘰𝑢𝑛𝘵𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑠...ℎ𝑚𝑚 ℎ𝑖𝑘𝑖𝑛𝘨 𝑠𝘰𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑒
𝝢𝝤 𝗪𝝤𝝢𝗗𝗘𝗥 𝗛𝗘 𝗟𝗘𝗙𝗧 𝗨𝗦, 𝚰𝗧'𝗦 𝗕𝗘𝗖𝝖𝗨𝗦𝗘 𝝤𝗙 𝝪𝝤𝗨𝗥 𝗙𝝖𝗨𝗟𝗧,
𝝪𝝤𝗨 𝗙𝝖𝚰𝗟𝗘𝗗, 𝝖𝝢𝗗 𝝢𝝤𝗪, 𝗦𝗘𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗣𝗥𝚰𝗖𝗘!

𝘵ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝘳𝑖𝑣𝑒𝘳 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝘰 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑚...𝑤ℎ𝑎𝘵 𝑖🝡 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝘳𝑛𝑒𝑎𝘵ℎ 𝘵ℎ𝑒𝘳𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑙𝑦  𝑐𝘳𝘰𝑐𝑠?
𝗛𝝤𝗪 𝗗𝝖𝗥𝗘 𝝪𝝤𝗨, 𝝪𝝤𝗨 𝗖𝝤𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝝢𝝤𝗧 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝝢 𝗖𝝤𝗠𝗘 𝗖𝗟𝝤𝗦𝗘 𝗧𝝤 𝗛𝚰𝗠,
𝝪𝝤𝗨 𝝢𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝝤𝝤𝗞 𝗟𝗘𝗦𝗦𝝤𝝢 𝗙𝗥𝝤𝗠 𝝖𝝢𝝪𝗧𝗛𝚰𝝢𝗚 𝗪𝗘 𝗧𝝖𝗨𝗚𝗛𝗧!

𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑖🝡 𝘵ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝘵𝘰𝘰𝑘 𝑎 𝑏𝑒𝘵𝘵𝑒𝘳 𝑐𝑎𝘳𝑒 𝘰🝡 𝘵ℎ𝑒 🝡𝑙𝘰𝑤𝑒𝘳𝑠,
𝑖𝘵 𝑤𝘰𝑛'𝘵 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝘵 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝘵ℎ𝑒𝘳 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝘵ℎ𝑎𝘵,
𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝘵ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝘰𝘳𝑠𝑒 𝑐𝘰𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝘳𝑒𝑣𝑒𝘳𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝘳𝑒𝘵𝑢𝘳𝑛...
"""𝗖𝝖𝝢'𝗧 𝝪𝝤𝗨 𝐉𝗨𝗦𝗧 𝗙𝗖𝗞𝚰𝝢𝗚 𝗦𝗛𝗨𝗧 𝗨𝗣 𝗙𝝤𝗥 𝝖 𝗠𝝤𝗠𝗘𝝢𝗧?!"""
a long way home
Nov 2020 · 57
Dear God,
izzn Nov 2020
You give me purpose
but I can't live up to it...
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