I wish I could be who you remember me as.
I'm not sure that person exists anymore.
They were lost in the fog that my life has become.
Going through every day as a barely functional automaton.
I know I was not always this way.
Somehow I became separated from the person you remember.
Flashes of joy now serve only to remind me of what I no longer am.
I can pretend to be that person sometimes.
I can act like them enough to allay suspicions when needed.
You are not really fooled though.
I can tell because you try to help.
I know that you care.
That is why I still face the pain.
Every time that I fail to be who you remember I feel them getting further away.
I shout into the void hoping to find them.
Hoping to find myself.
The fog makes me unable to even see who I am now.
How should this person I am now act?
I know that person you remember made you happy.
Do you even want to know this person?
I am not sure that I do.
I miss that person who you remember.
I ache to make you happy again.
I am cut deeply every time I make you cry.
I am a broken automaton.
She is bound
Captivated by the way she feels
Entranced by the way he moves her soul
Held fast by her need and hunger
Enthralled by the way he touches her
Chained by a bond stronger than steel
Locked in a cage of love and passion
She is bound
She looks up at me with her heart in her eyes
Her entire body reverberating with her hunger
Her hand trembles as she touches my leg
Her lips part in a gasp as she touches the object of her need
Her eyes glazed with lust as she leans forward
Now her entire frame trembles with her ache
She starts to move in an unspoken request
She gets a fevered light in her eyes as I make her wait
She whimpers and looks back into my eyes
She nods at the unspoken question
She looks at me with her heart in her eyes
I lay gasping for breath
I lay racked within the wake of passion spent
I breathe in her intoxicating scent
I breathe in the aroma of our love
I feel the flame of lust burned into my skin
I feel the sweet caress of her loving touch
I taste our shared breath
I taste our shared passion
I hear the beating of her heart
I hear the world begin to stop shaking
I gaze into that last instant of joined souls
I gaze into her beautiful eyes
I lay gasping for breath
Lightning flashes through the heavenly body
The storm rages through everything like a flash fire consuming all in it's path
It seems all the world must be caught up in the tempest that drowns out thought and sounds
Light playing across the darkness as the world tightens to a single point
Like a tornado it swirls and whirls among this storm of sensation and power
Almost like a cacophony it pushes every other thought aside
But such a force is the ultimate harmony
The darkness clears
A clarion call banishes the storm except for the tornado's tip
Eyes wide she looks up at him and hears the voice
The command that releases the storm's energy
*** for me
Deep inside my heart there sleeps a being that I have come to hate.
Through the back alleys of my mind it creeps; constantly feeding a hunger it cannot sate.
Hopes and dreams, longings and fantasies, these are what it has come to take.
When it has had enough of these, no longer this smile can I fake.
Anger, pain, suffering and strife churning up in the wake of it's passing.
These feelings I've suppressed all my life.
All those disappointments suddenly amassing; but hope springs eternal some would say.
Even though my memories hold more dark that light, making my mind rest on a foundation of clay.
That torturous being I still fight.
Grudgingly do I give ground.
Knowing that though I may lose I cannot back down.
Hoping that what was once lost may yet still be found.
Doubts and fears surging up until I feel I must drown.
Silently do I find myself praying.
Knowing that all my defenses must be lowered.
Though sanity be stretched beyond the point of fraying.
My inner demon's eyes still seem to glower, burning into my heart with unholy intensity.
And through my haze of pain and anger my eyes catch a glimmer of light.
Suddenly the demon loses some of it's ferocious tenacity.
The answer seems clear.
What was once thought lost can only be found through love.
What is worth as much as life?
More precious than gold
More fragile than porcelain
Stronger than steel
Yet as breakable as glass
Brighter than the sun
Yet as easily snuffed out as a candle
Costing more than diamonds ever could
Yet sold as cheaply as ****** beer
Who can put a measure of life's worth?