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Jun 2018
Do you know how hard I struggle?
Every day is hard.
Every day is a battle for us all.
I understand that everyone struggles.
I understand that many have it worse than I.
Their pain, their struggles, their battles...
they do not negate or lessen my own.
I don't need sympathy.
I don't need pity.
I do my best to give everyone empathy and understanding.
But I still struggle.
I want to be better than I am now.
I struggle to be better everyday.
I fail.
I fail often and spectacularly.
I have thought of suicide in the past.
I have considered running away and hiding from everyone and everything.
I can't.
Something inside me keeps struggling.
Something makes me face the world each day.
There are days when I can't.
Days when I retreat.
Days when I DO hide.
But I always keep going.
Even on those days I make it through another day, another hour, another minute.
I suffer.
I hurt.
I retreat.
I hide.
I do NOT stop.
I survive the pain and struggle.
You can't see it.
I can't see your struggle.
I hope you win your struggle.
I hope you know I'm cheering for you everyday.
I may not know you.
I still cheer.
I may not like you.
I still cheer.
Because everyday is a new chance.
Because every hour is a new opportunity.
Because every minute is a new moment.
I love.
I hurt.
I feel.
I grow.
You may not see it.
You may not cheer me.
You may never know the battle I face.
You will never know the struggle just to face the mirror and look into my own eyes.
I hope you cheer.
I hope you seek to understand another's struggle even if it isn't mine.
Even if you don't I still cheer for you.
Do you know how hard I struggle?
Written by
Ed Bogard  35/M
     eryssi and B-J-M
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