So tired of the phrase...if I have to explain you would'nt understand....
I want to explain so you will understand,
what makes me this way, who I am.
Explain the hurt, the misery...
the demons I deal with...the me you don't see.
I want you to understand so you don't cross that invisible line...
the line you stomp on unknowingly, oh so many times.
I want to explain, damit, just for mankind sake...
when you come back from hell, don't think  nothing changed!

Borne forth from darkness into light

A child is born this Christmas night

A Mother’s pain is turned to joy

as she swaddles her little boy.



Their habitation is the place

where beasts of burden spend the night.

Their bodies' heat the only warmth

on this cold and bitter night.



This child shall be called many things:

A fraud, a Myth, the King of Kings.

But Mary’s heart, a secret minds

This is the son of the Divine.



This night is born to us a King:

A true judge of the soul’s gain and loss,

whose wisdom will enflame men’s minds.

whose arms embrace us from the cross.

Good morning, dear poetess,
How your words open my heart,
Awaken my mind,
Touch my soul.

Good morning, dear poetess,
How you enflame my passion,
Enlighten my thoughts,
Make me whole.

Good morning, dear poetess,
How your words encourage me,
Make my tears well,
Make my thoughts roll.

Good morning, dear poetess,
How you strengthen me,
Make me aware,
Let me reach each goal.

Good morning, dear poetess,
Thank you...
For being you...
For sharing you...
Thank you....

This little vault, this narrow room,
Of Love and Beauty is the tomb;
The dawning beam, that ‘gan to clear
Our clouded sky, lies darken’d here,
For ever set to us: by Death
Sent to enflame the World Beneath.
’Twas but a bud, yet did contain
More sweetness than shall spring again;
A budding Star, that might have grown
Into a Sun when it had blown.
This hopeful Beauty did create
New life in Love’s declining state;
But now his empire ends, and we
From fire and wounding darts are free;
  His brand, his bow, let no man fear:
  The flames, the arrows, all lie here.

Do you know what it means to butcher?
To assault, to inflict,
To incite, to enflame?
To maraud in entirety?
To usher the kind of, “****,”
And with one word, maybe two,
Wherein even butterflies bleed
Amnesia –

And so,

She's ill and wrought under cover,
In between legs,
Pushing,
Pulling,
Throbbing,
Coming,
Crying,
Wanting, and crying again.

Tears atop whimpering the,
“Other’s,” name,
But screaming for
One, the only, “one,”
The lonely, “one,”
Solely one,
Done, and the one broken
Promise – I’d never come home?

And so,

I should have been jealous,
But I wasn’t.
I should have murdered,
But I couldn’t.
In their stead,
I silently tucked that knife
A little deeper
Mumbling, “sorry,”
For the first time in years
And making good on fear –
“Good bye,” and ensuing long walk away.

It was a cold winter morning
I was walking down the streets
There was an eerie silence on the road
Emptiness was filling me to a point of anxiety
Deathly loss this couldn't be real
I can’t stand I can’t be real

On the cold winter morning it
Was a time before the light
Enflame the tides and turn around
When you can’t see me die
The cold had froze me up
And I was there suffocating

You stood there like a hurricane and
Everybody lost control,
The music’s turned up loud when
The days are passing by
They start to turn around and see
The emptiness that was killing me

Oh nothing can save you now
No one would help me out they said

Then there came this lady
Helped me out in the dark
Her voice was so soothing that it
Chased the emptiness away

Come, he who seeks my disquiet,
Does it please you to see my total fury?
Must you enrage my soul, enflame my emotions?
You’ve awoken the volcano in me, and it writhes in waves of anger,
So be it.

Come, he who seeks my grief,
Does it give you satisfaction to see my despair?
Must you depress my heart, dampen my sentiments?
You’ve awoken the ocean in me, and it flows in waves of sadness,
So be it.

Come, he who seeks my insanity,
Does it comfort you to see my struggle?
Must you sever my mind, obliterate my senses?
You’ve awoken the cave in me, and it echoes in waves of madness.
So be it.

For just a moment
Would you slip away with me
Into dark corners of anonymity 
Could we lose the fear.
The consequence.
Can you loop your fingers in mine with the simplicity of a lover 
And push aside the flush of watching eyes.
Be the steady tide in my ocean of melancholy 
And wash away these familiar faces 
With their poison darted tongues
Glass hearts overflowing 
With the bitterness of realism and lost ideals 

Can we lose our pretences
Our falsities and masks
And let our minds meet in serenity 
Sheltered from a world of turmoil 
From wars and tears
Outward pressures and inner conflicts.
Lets live instead within honesty and earnest hearts 
In hidden tracks and secret words 
Where we can speak our own truths in roaring solitude 
In silent riots that enflame my heart and remind my soul to sing

In this moment 
Can I be nameless
Faceless 
Can I disappear into the love behind your eyes 
And be remade inside the warmth of your opened arms 
Can I vanish from the humdrum 
From the familiarity of the accepted
And walk with you down foreign streets of passion and vitality 
Hand in hand 
Two beacons alight with fire 
Standing tall against an encroaching dusk of normality and routine 

Just for now
Can we be anonymous
Can we be unknown 
Maybe then we can learn to know ourselves

Fate becomes the bitter night,
devours the Dream
bereft of sight,

betrays the Innocent

Who watches still
the Stars that fall
upon the sill.

And yet within
a Spark alights
in search of Meaning
to enflame

the Passion requisite,

that burns with raging Fury
at its Core,
and shreds all contradiction
with its with Scorn

till nothing stands
but might of Will,

Defeats the foe
who kept us still.

.
honest                                                 rawness stains the ****** white                                paper      
      heard                             ­                            in the silent                                                 pleas,
   ­         haunting                                            words as they                                           pursue,
                    hues                                        ­  vividly coloured                                     portray,
                        hunted                                 m­y dreams with                               possession,
                  ­           honouring                     language and life                       punctuating,
                         ­         haptic                    senses which enflame             passions.
                                        honed          ­       this soul, for me, i            pen

For those who, whenever they chase pavements,
stare at the adjacent road that mimics the starless night sky
And inside their heads they pretend
that they unknowingly trip on a crack on the cement,
so that they could find an excuse to use the incoming vehicle as an escape goat for life

Let's raise a glass to you for not doing so!

To the men high upon beams and chains and towers, overlooking the city skyline
filled with people tracing the sidewalks like ants in a single file,
who think to themselves: the fall will probably hurt less than the onslaught of words
coming from their wives for giving them a hard life

Let's raise a glass to you for not doing so!

I lift the crystal in my hand to the women who, no matter how battered and tattered are their skins,
choose to paint their faces with whatever powdered pallet they have
even though Rowling's metal wand sits beside their makeup inside the drawer of their dresser,
waiting for them to take their own life

Let's raise a glass to you for not doing so!

And to the students who have never gotten over their childhood traumas
and to the bullies who never outgrew the bruises from their fathers
that no matter how much it hurt you,
you never chose to end everything with a slipknot or the edge of a blade or with battery fluid you found in your garage,
I envy you

So, let's raise a glass to you too for not doing so!

I raise my half empty glass to all those who failed to take away god's gift
To the men and women who failed in fear of abandoning their children
I spill the contents of this wine glass
in honor of the sons and daughters of wealthy politicians, who succeeded in receiving eternal punishment for taking their lives
And to those who regret that they failed in their first try, please,
don't throw away your life

You are exquisite, you are tantalizing,
you are worthy of a million praises like the saints we see on mosaics and church pieces
Your works are rousing and they enflame the tiniest of sparks in at least one person's heart
be ravenous and unmerciful when improving your craft
Let's raise a glass!

Because as you are reading this, the glass of wine I have been carrying high above my head
had already spilled on the parchment where I have written these words with utmost care

So, will you raise your glass to me?