~~~~~~~~~~
Hello its me ScarlettRose
Nightingale
~~~~~
The exquisit image of the lark returns me to heaven and my soul cries woe have turned to songs of praise.
I thought of  how you bet your
love, and again I found you
all over again through a love magazine singles ad
dearest Knight my Lancelott
King beloved omnipresent
God-like heart of Gold.
twinflame beloved.
The wise universe knowing my inner core had returned you
back to me unaware of the mystery unfonfolding
  treasures, true love, fame and great fortune all mine for the taking.
Us together was treasure enough
when we were very young.
in Astlleros ship yard.
but your strange detective methods of going to a slandering previously rejected,
medically impotent man in lew of just taking time to know me and ask me your concerns my leaping zoaring love wàve
retracted
backfiring on us distrust
You left me hoping for me to go find you in wormhole loop but
time became our foe.
Unrequieted love sat in
suffering was unbearable.
No water quenched such love nor floods drowned it
and my best years went by to unexpexted motherhood
but children's carrussels kept whispering sad secrets from beyound and my heart couldn't be apeaced
~
Throught the years I became amnesic to rddbba treasures
I wished I was never born
kidnapped sadomized what a small price replacing death!
my babes and me barely alife.
but I thought
of your hands body and eyes on me and I felt all over in you
on a hill aroused,
I felt mentally fast awakene'd
able to show my inner core  feelings and cry openly
but I weeped mostly nights
secretly wistfully
for the nunnery had shot me down five hungry toyless chilhood dead-calm years.
Silenced as orphans are
my spontaniety of first thought responces to most questions failed and you thought I didn't love you! That was wrong!
I thought of your mind bending grassy tearful blues looking in awe at my pictures
my star gazer lover you gazing
at my starry looking eyes
scrutinizing mine absence
unaware of how much
I truly loved thee!
I thought of you arguing with tequila thinking of me
loving me missng me,
face to face thrilling me
patient as your true love can be
marrying me so that not even God could pull us appart

I thought of you thinking of me
and getting hard ons.
Spiritual and physical joys
were presented here
you were the perfect lover
Best husband best father best friend.
in this light your star shines on brightest over me
Oh how I loved thee! no other lover quenched mine vessel
spirit heart and soul!
Reversing the spell of the friendly fortune.
Inwealth trumps outer wealth state.
External wealth of a Kings state;
possessions, land, power
your nation
A lovers worth more then a Kings external internal states.
When in disgrace with fortune and mens eyes
I all alone beweep my outcast state
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself and curse
Wishing me like to no more rich in hope
Featured like him with friends possess'd,
Disiring tbis man's Art and that mans Scope,
With what I must enjoy contented least
With this thoughts myself almost dispising.
Haply I think of thee, and then my state,
Like the lark at break of the day arising,
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate,
For that sweet love
Remembered such wealth brings
that then I scorn to change
my state with kings.
~~
By! Shakespare and me
All Rights Revered and reserved.

Men come easy but few dear get closer extracting beauty
from my beast.
Men often ask me how come I chose to be unmarried for so long why so cellective
I tell them most men do the same mistake they are attracted to my light smily eyes and cute plump femenine shape and never fail to see me as tishue paper meat to satiate some pure carnal need most disregard my pristine womanly motherly wifely
innate nature my spirit soul

i am not just a mule who anyman can mount harness lead walk and run mounted onto without accountability
nor to fill mans grassy other needing wear without genuine commitment to then just leave my heart behind used broken having lost time effort physical inand mental piece of mind

Many other women in this city this country are just a body to be used "no strings attached!." in other words "no love" nor loving commited relationship intended!

I can't for the life of me sucumb to such shallow tribial macho pass time
diseases can become
a lifetime burden
I am not willing to drag with me stds as companions.
Solitude is my bittersweet virtue my passion is my physical and mental health my family and writing primordial to staying alife family matters most to me.
not competing with other women for a user male in trivial heat
like dogs in hormonal instinctual ****** vices bluntly said;
I am no ***** for no dog in heat. Naturally I was open to reign Queen for one King of hearts only once upon a time knowing charm grace in his kingdom beauty-rest mattress-master bedroom, the utter boredom of married life, respectability the old folks the exquizite blessed joy of precious children to cherish protect and adore but those don't exist in my
late neighborhoods they call single mothers strugling alone like i did"disfunctional family, without a father figure!"
but no father was better to my kids existed certainly not the  seeder sadist psychoath poisoner greek human trafficant  nor second one ******* user impotent who couldn't control his forced emissions wasn't better then my Motherly Kali's instincts my single protective motherhood was best.
I was better father-Mom in my daughters case.

the worst city for love and marriage to last on earth or
to raise children who won't treasure single divorced motherhood sacrifices is here Hollywood California.

Better is Houston Kemah Texas in USA England, Ireland India owning family values good marriages non greedy men children grow up better there because school friends
are rooted healthier at home
respecting family bonds
unity unbreakable is the key.

"A house divided by itself cannot stand, it will utterlly be destroyed says  "The holy book" and its true in my world.
~~~~~~~~~
By: Karijinbba
All rights reserved
{Revised again 06/11/19}
thanks for reading
liking, loving
or just flying by over
my field of dreams
lovely butterflies
~~~

More often than not
one is fated to continue loving
a lost great love misunderstood
as regrets teaching self love
expanding to others
is healthier to living
then surviving in daily
worthless pain that hating is.

I wanted to know true love
in this life time.
To meet great wise souls,
but mostly haters came to me as
stranglers boa constructors
mendicants greedy blood
hungry Alien moths
attracted mostly to my light.

Snakes slidered around
my tini cradle in my parents
forestlands, one bit my leg!
Through life, it was the most benevolent of my attackers!
My uncle's malignant
child predator his jealous
viper wife Roselia was as evil
marriage to my spoiling paternal uncle didn't change her ways.
.
Roselia murdered my two baby brothers David Sanchez and half brother blue eyed Antonio Chavez G.
She devil left me
internally bleeding dying requiring surgery to save my life
.
I ran away at age seven
surviving that ugly predator
in her jealous rage towards my
naive un-protective ignorant
unfit widow mother!
Later on, running from this nightmare two human predators
fathered my three precious kids
Jealous Greek Medeas tortured
my newborn babes in Calamata and Athens Charalambos
(haralobo) Kiriaki and her family
poisoned us three for years and
a lifetime trashed me to those who were deafly jealous of me in USA.
Henry R, W remained
a Charles Manson advocate in CA
he is and his evil sister Liz his sterile ex-girlfriend all high on ******* almost turned me into Sharon Tate!
trashing me for being an RH -O-
Back in 1983 to steal my children and sell them for ******* dues to whom ever bailed them out
a hate crime against me a Mexican born a Mom struggling to stay alife all alone beautiful in and out purple heart Mom;
an immigrant running for my life saving whatever the vipers left of my 3 baby girls and myself!
I couldn't find a single friend in USA
My Josie-Rosie my sassy, required surgery on her sternum chest
to save her life.
We are hated for surviving them all
foes ditching their death dice each time they tried stocking me and baby girls everywhere we went.
Elizabeth W G even bought me a fraudulent life insurance sold my medical records to thugs in the medical LA care fields
in LA CA USA hating me
for succeeding in all they have failed.
For my heart, my perseverance!
for my lovev to my children.

I was so battered myself I feared going public but my silence allowed enemies to return to trash me to my kids and harm them some more I couldn't save them they were assimilated drugged compromised and blackmailed.

I have not seen my grown kids in eons
just to not to spike the demented jealousy in those thugs
they now call friends enemies
who took my place in their life.
the witch hunt must end
for God is stronger then evil doers.
That deadly enemy used drugs to lure my 2 sons in law trashing me
  to them too beyond repair.

They think they won but God's justice shall prevail to avenge some justice
for me and my blindsided children
whom I birthed adored raised schooled my gifted high IQ'd kids.
I saved their life a million times
my motherly rights shall resume.
as God is my witness
evil just can't prevail forever.

True love divine found me too.
in all areas of life that may matter
the all wholly good ways.
That unforgettable true love
had left me behind shredded.
alone misunderstood;
Afterwards misery and pain
was all I found as you read above.
but my heart of gold knows how to love no scorn in me hides only love.
Is it better to have love and lost?
This purple heart Mom knows
what true love is though.

What to be in love is like,
when a special human being
fell in love with me too.
When my children deep down understand we are all victims of same evil enemies
my kids love themselves and me their good life saving caring heroic Mom.
deep down, my children adore me Angel Mom, remembered well.
their Mexican-American Mestizo French mix Mom pride and joy
Mexican lives matter too!

I am glad I was your Mother
(my lala, my sassy, my coco)
Patricia Angela, Josephine Rose,
Michelle J San-Gutier.
I am giving you three new names
for good luck, new beginning!
kiss my grandkids for me
their true maternal grandma.
with much much love.

And to me all, all this,
it made all the difference.
sigh..
~~~~~~~~
By:Karijinbba
Copy Rights
2020