Breathless Words

Soul to soul her words flowed the letters were elegant as she they had this bolden quality a richness
then her face was superimposed on the paper up in the left hand corner the paper was it self able to
evoke emotion light brown flowers and buterflies colorfuly purple ran down the right side then the
writing seemed but whisps visible but tendrils that are so cast as tiny to the point of airyness but that
was where the emotional timbres they struck a cord divisions inserted into layers that lay heavy on the
page pure heart some what disturbing crackled a liveness cried to be heard a call was spreading across
a waste land this velvet verdue capitalized on scarsity the emptyness gave it greater apaeal it spoke in a
whisper and you strained to hear you must hear when wonder sings there is always an audiense she
divised words that were robed in color and vibrancy your breath was cought ebbing and flowing her
thoughts were winged angels they called with hallwoed tounges their words were counter weights to
the usal run of the mill chit chat her perpodours words stood in great banks in the sky her words were dark and
raging at times and then turned white it was as she was fencing great sections of land then the storm
broke the pain came in torents this liquid rain expressed demoanized parts of what she vehemitantly
sought to express and then it slowed to a roll over the landscape of her life then it was glory noble it was
as you were whisked in to a great white church you stood by the altar as she pureified her deeepest soul
she confronted loss those dark corners in the lives of lovers it is not perfeclty clear but possibly one had
strayed it seemed she was making marks that represented death black and treacheous she wrote from
the very whip lashes on her heart they had healed but they left scar tissue her fingers passed over them
then she transfured them to the keys shame disgrace visted in the most beautiful chamber of their love
now it would forever remain a darkness in otherwise the show place of love and its achievments she had
a fire that was exzilarting it had the element that burned untamed places and when the new growing
came it was now clean the visual mastery that when observed is stunning she detailed the defining
moments that only love can birth this was one thing she said I love that magic. I hope it is a magic that
last “forever” be enthralled when you kiss your beloved know not you are planting seeds that drift over
filelds of forever they rise on the country breeze they travel to as the song says ole tangers and amid the
Pyrimids along the Nile they stall speachless at the foot of Kilamajoro they traverse the bluest sea to the
swaying of the hula and then they with this romantic thickness bend under the weight there only
definition and reality in this case lies at your feet live the dream girl

I view you like a daughter, a niece, a sister
I watch your achievments and I feel pride
I see your setbacks and it crushes me
I want to take you in, bundle you up
Tell you that you're loved, comb your hair
But from afar I can only supervise
I can hear you say "look, no hands!"
And it makes me smile when I see you laugh
A ball of energy yet so supressed and bound
You remind me of my younger self
So of course I adopted you, atleast, in a sense
I wonder how you're doing everyday
I hope for once theyre treating you OK
And when I see you next, my heart breaks
Remebering that nuturing directly
Is out of the question, who would listen to me?
Some crazy woman with mistaken identity
You're my honorary niece regardless
You're a good kid, a good egg, good news
I see the potential in you, as you grow
You will let go of the blanket and let your hands show
You should know, there are those that love you
Just not considered qualified to prove so

Dreamers are the ones I envy.
People caught in the struggle, I wish to be.
That feeling to strive for something you truly believe in,
to become that image that so long you've fought for.
I won't deny that sometimes I cry.
Wishing that by some miracle that could be me.
Breaking down barriers that keep who I could be from me.
But that's a wasted wish on a ball of flames.
Dreams aren't forced, they're made..
But why every time I think of it,
I'm lead back to my bare walls.
I want to be that person known for their achievments,
stories told that since young I've been trying to catch more then I could hold.
Pushing back when the world tried to shut my faith out.
I want more than anything:
to be remembered as a dreamer.

The day so bright,
but i am feeling clouded,
gloomy is the area that surrounds me.
Uncomfortable in my own self,
i feel so confused,
lost,
misunderstood,
afraid,
but i smile through out the day,
proud of my achievments,
but my efforts are not admired,
a day so bright,
i am lost in its darkness,
who am i?
What am i?
I do not know,
but all in all failure strikes

No more chillin,

Just sweatin, I’m stressin

I’m rainin down blood from my eyes

Gotta be the best, Superior to the rest

I only wanna touch the skies

I’m bettin high stakes, make no mistake

On eggshells walkin through these land mines

I gotta be strong if I’m gonna prove him wrong

His looks alone pierce my heart like dull knives

I gotta change my ways to see different days

There’s more to me than just some good times

I never hurt so much til he walked in

But best believe he’s sendin me good vibes

There’s depth to his stares, he actually cares

My past lovers from himself he divides

He’s only givin tough love, no baby gloves

This aint a phase, he’s really changin both our lives

He told me passion is only a distraction

Who cares about your heart or the size

Results and achievments are what they want

But these are just a few words for the wise

Now I’m livin in better days, true to my new ways

I’ve released all these bindes and cut these ties

Now I’m just chillin,

No more sweatin, no stressin

I’m not goin back, no compramise.

Your words pierce me,
Like a sword through my heart,
Hurting me with every breath,
Reminding me of hatred.
My hatred,
For you.
My blood boils when I see you
You have been rude
You instill doubt in me,
Robbing me off of my confidence
For this, I hate you!
I hate you from the core of my heart!
I cannot stand the sight of you,
You are an insecure, hollow person
Trying to let me down,
You envy my achievments,
Everybody- you try to fool
By playing cool;
You want to show
You are still better,
No.
You are not.
With this attitude of yours ,
You will never be.
You cannot justify your grades,
Even if you are the funniest person on earth,
Your words **** me inside;
Echo in my my ear,
I seriously wonder,
Since when, to you did I begin to hear?
I hate you.
I did not earlier.
Now I always will.
The sky may fall
Still.

Today I got my license
and this year also marks the 4th year
without either of you
When I was practicing
I drove by your house
The house I called a Home
for 3 years of my life
It was in shambles
The vines I knew that would cause trouble
have overgrown and blocked the stairs up into the house
The grass is overgrown
and Mother nature is taking back what once was hers

I saw his truck
parked in its usual spot
but there was a hole
where her car should be
Tears pricked at my eyes
to see the house I called my second home
to be like this
Overgrown and forgotten by the family
that once lived there

You tried to keep me in your life
even when your daughter tried to throw me away
Because to you
I was never your daughter's friend
but I was a family member from a different family

I wish I could show you my achievments
Hear your voice again
I wish I could go back in time to
when I was happy with just
laying around
and not having to worry about life

Upon reflection
I can see
What cannot be imagined
That part I didn't leave behind
I never had
So for all my own insurrections
Fought along the trail I've blazed
and true to form
I see not of the mind
beyond that deemed
As being predescibed
as falling beyond the norm
a bit meandering yes perhaps
But no journey
into places unknown
Has ever obliged a map
And I do look back
In efforts to gauge
my....Progress....or..lack of...
Sometimes I do will myself
By all the strength accepted
That fear can muster within
So I may portend pretending
That upon that skirmish ending
I chose not that look back
For reasons I choose to entertain
Conferring within. - seeking  spin
My spirit  to ordain
Do not give rise within my eyes
A pace that none would ever
want...
to render as a measure
As that may be a reality implied
That less achieved would garner not..
           aside ones own displeasure
Just the same would be the shame
Heaped upon
Any life lived in self- blinded obscenity
willingly giving rise to compromise
with reverent resistance to the existence
Or any such guiding force it implies
So it is upon the highs,
where vision becomes extant
All effort behind drawn out in the abstract
as it's seen meandering
Side to Side far more than
What could easily be polluted
If all distant were not included
In the journey forward  
That never was
heading for a destination
Not mine anyway,
I was just going to what I was led
Along the imaginary trail that  accepted
would never exist ahead of me
only behind and in my mind
So as first stated herein I cannot imagine
All those things left behind that I never had
Comfort ,normality, a sense of some reality
Domestic security a bit of maturity applied
Maybe I will end up old , broke, some local joke
A dreamer
who believed too much in himself
A wasted life lived  creating things
That may well by themselves
seem worthless and a lot of wasted time
So I willing accept without regret turning back
And get my life on those prescribed by you
To be the right track...
          ....that is if you will take the time
to look back on your own existence
recall all the things you might try to describe
As you would the best wine ever tasted
Whether it's achievments had or left behind
Some dream never existed still carried in your mind
That chance untaken that persists in you forsaken but not ever shaken
From the cobwebs of sacred places and define for me the meaning of..WASTED!
     If you really can, do this ,I will toss all my dreams away
But I'm not concerned...if nothing else in my life
Is true to form
the one thing I know -without doubt -I've learned
Is as true as it can be...no matter the circumstance
No matter what the final results are. ..
true efforts are never wasted  ..although
..it may be that sometimes
They are left behind..incomplete!
Just waiting for someone else..
to come along....to carry on!
To complete.

I stand amidst blue eyes.
Hearts, flowers, life, tower around my soles. Creation obeys my pattern.
Unending hills in the cliffsides of my sights' peak silence my dreams, blinding my imagination's capacity. Blinding my livlihood's achievments. Blinding me.
Wind throws growth off coarse. I feel the cold air stain my scars. I feel the life dissipate through my eyes and arms.
Never-ending hate drowns my guilt, proving the impossible to be impossible. Ice, fire, gravel wounds me. Their wounds fuel what remain.
You stand amidst brown eyes.
Ashes, thorns, death, tower around your souls. Creation obeys your pattern.