If anybody should be angry at the other its me,
angry at myself for the shame,
no need to point a finger or hide behind it,
not willing to call myself a failer
but i know i have failed.

Too ashamed to let everyone see me weeping,
not even myself from that mirror reflecting my loss back at me.

I was too proud,
believed in myself,
knew i was going to make it,
but no i failed,
and all it has done is to bring back my losses from the past.

To ashame to let the world see me,
i have locked myself away,
i cant even walk out of the house,
it feels like the whole world knows my loss.

Too proud,
too confident,
but now all my confidence has been washed away into the drain.

I am mostly ashamed for i failed to make my Mama proud.

Sitting in the exam, everyone was getting bored
May the time passes quickly, I was praying to the lord
Had studied, maybe there would be something to write
But it was no fault, on my side

Yesterday, came from home and didn't reached my destination
As I resorted myself, to a friend' s mansion
There we talked, laughed, ate and slept
Due morning, we realised something we had left

That we were meant to study, and prepare for the exam
Or else, get enrolled into the failer's memo scam
Still there is some time left, for the exam to be over
Till then I, will pretend to be sober


|AB|

I wouldnt deny to failer,
nor bow down to it.
I wouldnt deny to defeat,
nor fall under it.

Am only human,
just a little girl.
Have made wrong and right,
but never have i expected perfection.

Am only human,
better than today's technology,
for i know when to rest,
and i know when to say "NO"

am only human,
yes i can feel,
take every step with caution,
reflect to my past and still stay in the present.

I am only human,
i cry,
i laugh,
i hate,
i love,
i smile,
i frown

i am only human
and i have emotions just like you.

Allow me to **** myself
       so that I may not be a
       disappointment to my
       family ,allow me to ****
       myself because I'm sensing
       failer around the corner ,allow
       me to **** myself because I'm
       tired defined as a failer ,allow
       me to **** myself so that my
       soul will rest ,allow me to ****
       myself because I am that old
       car that is no longer useful to
       it's owner ,allow me to **** myself
       I can't feel the sense of belonging,
        allow me to **** myself because
        I'm that old tree that's no longer
        bear it's fruits,
              
      
       allow me to **** myself because the
       feeling of happiness no longer
       exist in my world  ,allow me to
       **** myself because I have turned
       into a rejection , allow me to ****
       myself because I'm already
       rejected by those who claim to
       love me,allow me to **** myself
       because I feel so empty inside
       my soul
            INDEED ALLOW ME

Jump without a parachute
Don't look before I cross
Take more pills then prescibed
Will this make the pain in my chest go away
Will this make my face stop crying
Will death take a failer like me.

The first problem
is solitude, it's isolation.

It needed a befriending
It needs a communing
Not just with our maker
But also with one-another
with an attitude of a no-greater,
never failer, a coming along-sider.

It needs you and me
to greet with a holy kisser,
to bury and plant something
that will grow straighter
(perhaps sometimes leaning counter),

carrying, confessing,
praying and bearing with,
building one another
up into a more no-greater
love than this:
laying down ourselves
for our friends
no matter.

The first problem
was isolation.
So let's embrace a friendlier
God-given solution.

Let's be friends.