my love for you is equal parts
messy
and lovely
like paint splattered
across a canvas
in pastel
colours

i am a million wrongs written in braille.
don't touch me, or i will be seen for what i am.
even though i don't know what i am.
so i guess it's best
that you leave me alone.

I'm disconnected from the world
I don't want to see the people on this earth in a swirl

I'm disconnected from my phone
I don't take calls no more I'm unbeknown

I'm disconnected from my music
I just can't hear no more in this cubic

I'm disconnected from my sweet love
I feel like an old unfit glove

I'm disconnected from my home
I don't want to live here no more I want to roam

I'm disconnected from reality
What Is real and what is fake maybe it's my mentality

I'm disconnected from my mind
The demons took their time

I wish I was plugged in
So I can live again

I would rather smoke some cigarettes than be with you,
For it is better to die in pain
rather than dying in love.
For you it is a game,
a juxtaposition of our dimmer love,
And you would **** me
For some meat.
The dawn wouldn't break
If we don't get away,
Cause it's a concussion
That I am experiencing now,
For our love in now in a ghetto,
Never to be opened,
For "our love" is just a word now.
I would rather smoke some cigarettes than be with you,
And expell the love from within my heart,
And poison it with disgust and hate
And go away from light to the dark

But I have built my walls so
high and strong,
that I can't seem to find a way
to break them down.

i grew up in a house full on constant noise
9 am conversations over breakfast
noon games in the living room
the kids playing in the afternoon
loud dinners with more talking than eating
movie nights with added commentary
bed time giggles
sisters talking through their sleep
there was never a quiet moment growing up, no alone time, but there was so much peace
maybe now i can't spend afternoons alone in my apartment because those days don't feel like anywhere is home
i'd rather be with anyone, hearing any noise possible at any time of the day
than to spend moments in pure silence

my hands are always cold
but not when they're interlaced
with yours.

something about us is right.
i'm drowning in your light.

i never thought drowning
would be this nice.

Differences in people doesn't judge if they are "good" or "bad."

There are only differences.

"Good" and "Bad" were just words that tricked you, held you from realizing that it was just, "Differences."

                                                                                            -happyhappyhappy
                                                                                                                  2/22/17