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799 · Oct 2017
Unjudged
ryn Oct 2017
You don't see my eyes...
They look away whilst my cheeks
with a band worn thin,
hold up this mask.

With effortless ease,
I maintain this smile
plastered upon the sheen
of cheap mouldable plastic.

Fooling others
with a face acceptable by default,
when my neck and collar
stain wet.

Protected and hidden
are my innermost thoughts
and emotions - a morbid
sense of oneness and freedom.

I, therefore, cannot shed
such an accoutrement.
This mask - a fort I will hold and
a bastion, I will not compromise.

Because behind it I feel safe, hidden
and unjudged.
798 · Sep 2017
Love and Strength
ryn Sep 2017
.
I write of love and strength

like I know what they are

but I'm still like a child

looking up thinking satellites are stars


.
797 · Sep 2017
Tender Unrest
ryn Sep 2017
The night was young.
The moon had traversed,
but only a minuscule fraction of the sky.

Between the stars was quiet...
And the breeze gentle.
Waves weren't angry
and they caressed the shore
with unspoken affection.

Ripples in the water took their time
riding the surface -
harnessing, carrying each piece of the moon.
Whispering to each other in a silent pact.
With plans to spread the shards of silver
as far as they could;
before gifting it to the next batch of carriers.

If the moon exploded into a million tiny pieces,
that was what it would look like -
confetti of silver and white
strewn over a large black cloth
that's gently flailing in the wind.

A spectacle of unwavering continuity...
Beauty and grandeur in such
tender unrest...
794 · Mar 2018
Blanks
ryn Mar 2018
My mind shot rounds.
Successful bursts.
But they wouldn’t stick.
They wouldn’t stain.

Shot out some more.
The same...

Been shooting unfocused.
Been shooting stray and reckless.
Been shooting blanks.
793 · May 2017
Ride the Night
ryn May 2017
Start up the engine
Just take the road
And let it take you anywhere
Any place that'll relieve the load

Times like these
Leave the dark behind
Soak up the street and city lights
Be free in body and mind

Twist the throttle full
Ride hard that stallion
Let the moment converge
Into the oncoming lights that beckon
793 · Oct 2018
Siege
ryn Oct 2018
Such anxiety that has me bound.
So tight I can’t breathe.

Dispel this fear that I’m nurturing.
These thoughts that have my lungs
in its taloned clutch.

Let not its grip tighten more.
Let not the flame be extinguished.
Let not the last dregs of my strength flee.


Grant me the courage to once again
triumph over the siege that has me...

All bent misshapen and twisted in knots.
792 · Nov 2017
Moments
ryn Nov 2017
.
A moment astray...

Like the bite off the fruit
you weren’t suppose to take.
But tasted so good.

A moment of folly...

One that you’re disgusted with,
yet so proud you took that step
out of the circle.

A moment of recklessness...

That took you on a trip so stellar
that it seemed to last an eternity.
You make the mistake of blinking...
then all is lost.

A moment of reflection...

A string that threads through all
those moments...
And bound unto you.
Keeping you from falling apart.
Keeping you together and whole,
so that more moments

could be made.

.
791 · Aug 2017
Wits' End
ryn Aug 2017
I've no solutions
Just questions with no answers
I'm at my wits' end
784 · Jun 2018
Deserted
ryn Jun 2018
The feet burns sore
from the scorch
of the sand.

Feeble breezes played
with the corners
of my tattered garb.

The sun, adamant,
in punishing
familiar travellers
from distant lands.

Lost in the dunes,
always...
Like a ribbon caught
on a wire’s barb.
783 · Mar 2018
Martyred Heart
ryn Mar 2018
Reaching out
from the darkened recesses.
With calloused fingers
and rough bit nails.

Clawing
Grabbing.
Clutching.

At any semblance of order...
And balance.

Make these theirs.
Let these be within reach.


For they,
those digits...
Worn, scraggly and desperate.

They belong to one.
They answer to one,
martyred heart.
781 · Nov 2017
Can’t
ryn Nov 2017
You can’t crave for daylight
but curse the sun’s heat

You can’t adore the rain
yet cringe at the spray

You can’t love the moon
and disown her raging tides

You can’t expect the night
without living through the day
779 · Jun 2022
Black
ryn Jun 2022
It’s the silence
that commands the dialogue,
the lull that weighs
bitter and heavy
upon the tongue…
And the darkness,
that hoards every cadence,
reason and rhyme.

Within its robe of

                                    black.
777 · Sep 2018
Breakable
ryn Sep 2018
.
Catch me in a beat
In the way I was promised
So that I won’t break


.
774 · Oct 2017
In Recuperation
ryn Oct 2017
This time I have,
is but a gift.

Meant to heal
broken skin
and fractured bone.

But I realise
that there's more...

•••

What if,
repairing physical damage
is but a facet of
unanticipated tribulation?

What about...
Shattered thoughts?
Disjointed ideals?
Misplaced hopes?
Askewed trajectories?

•••

Maybe...
This time too is meant
to get my stars in alignment.

But right now there just aren't any...
772 · Nov 2017
Plunge
ryn Nov 2017
It was the glint that caught my eye.
Split second moment.
A flash that pierced
through all flurry and rage.

I knew where it was.
I knew what it was.


Like a light switch flicked on,
a thought came on instantly.

It called to me as silent,
swift and sharp as it was...

It called for a plunge.

A plunge to release the red.
A plunge to relieve the pressure.
A plunge to end it.


I wanted so much to
but I did not take that leap.
Because where that
would’ve taken me,
there can never be a way back.
767 · Jun 2017
In the Morning
ryn Jun 2017
I know I've submitted to frailty.
I know I'm allowing where it takes me.

I'm heading to places
where my skin best fit.
I'm dreaming of places
where my bones don't grind to grit.

I know I've conceded to a state of mind.
I know I'm lost to a cause no one could find.

I'm hiking up hills and knolls
angled steep.
I'm drifting through waters
that run too deep.

I know I'm stuck to ideals - weathered and worn.
But I know I might be better...
in the morn.
Current earworm.

Tennis - In the Morning I'll Be Better

"Though our bodies have betrayed us
In a million different ways
In the morning, I’ll be
Oh, better, better, yeah"
766 · Jul 2023
Sojourn
ryn Jul 2023
.
Go forth…
          Into the deep sleep.

Swaddled in the shroud
marked with the words
you’d let fall,
not from loose lips
but the determined grip
of calloused fingers -
that had danced (with purpose)
on parchment,
to the unsung verses
set to inspire minds
and tempt stagnant tongues.

Go now…
          Before the rest of us.

And as we raise our hands
in gestured farewell,
our eyes would tear,
and our hearts would bleed
into the wake of your sojourn.

.
In memory of one of us - Joel M Frye
764 · Aug 2017
Labyrinth
ryn Aug 2017
.
        Labyrinth in my head...
Set in heavy stone.            
Brightens not,                      
           siphons instead.
The dark gnawing                        
at skin and bone.

Labyrinth in my heart...          
Rerouting purpose
and derailing reason.            
              I'm together but pulled apart.
            I've won most days...
But today I'm beaten.                
.
763 · Feb 2018
Stoic Beholder
ryn Feb 2018
All that swims unruly
only crashes into rock.
Wearing down the stoic
demeanour the beholder.

He wails in silence -
his thoughts loud
but his voice shackled.

He buckles;
Then clutches at his
breast knowing he’ll
meet his end with
his tale only told in
illegible runes.
754 · Nov 2018
Melancholy
ryn Nov 2018
There is a song that I sing tonight.
Every night...

A song made out
of the sighs in my breaths.

Words heavy and laden
from the weight of my thoughts.

A tune forlorn - from the wrenching
of the heart.

A song that I’ve taken to.
A song entitled “Melancholy”.

.
744 · Oct 2019
Chronicle
ryn Oct 2019
Chronicle these breaths.
And lay them naked
on paper - for the world
to see and judge,
like you know you should.

Dissect them...
With the sharpness
of your scalpel-like thoughts,
like you always would.

Fall in love with them.
Tag them with unspoken words
all too familiar.
Then cast them unto me...
When you finally know you could.
744 · Sep 2022
Dalliance
ryn Sep 2022
.

Nights don’t change…

Perhaps just the stories
they weave in infinites
from the fires of stars
and embers of hearts…

Or perhaps it’s the way
they were captured
and deciphered;
Reworded and retuned
to the song and dalliance
of the hand-wielded ink.
738 · Aug 2014
Topsy Turvy (10w)
ryn Aug 2014
My universe whirling
topsy                   turvy

C    e    n    t    r    e    d
Around YOU and ME.
732 · Aug 2017
Ribbon
ryn Aug 2017
Captured by a fence,
carried by the wind.
Helpless yet steadfast.
Strong yet graceful.

Almost billowing like a flag.
Celebrating triumph
amidst a sea of losses and destruction.

A stark reminder of what used to belong.
Of better times where colours were abundant.
And people loved better...

This crimson red...
Now only flails,
hard as it can afford.
Entangled by a lone barb.

Caught firmly in place but
forever fighting the oppressor that holds.
730 · Sep 2023
Cataract
ryn Sep 2023
What’s this glaze
over my eyes…

A heavy mist
with fingers…
that lingers.
A cataract that
dives and claws
into the black
of irises.

A film,
a veil,
a canvas botched
and vandalised
with arguing paints.
And indelible black
that sings of sadness,
highlights the aches
of dejection
and screams
betrayal.
729 · Sep 2017
Red and Black
ryn Sep 2017
Red is the life
that runs thick and fierce
through my veins.

And black is the void
that unscrupulously and
tyrannically consumes it all.
726 · Nov 2023
Labyrinth
ryn Nov 2023
Embalmed skin -
seemingly made anew,
yet pocked with sores…
from a life past.

The then waylaid heart
needed only whisper…

And long was the walk
through the cursed labyrinth
of sharp worldly things.
721 · Nov 2021
Orphaned
ryn Nov 2021
Loosened
from the crevices
of engorged founts…

But futile is the effort,
to pave the way
to our worth through
an unmanned portal.

Unwavering.
We continue to commit
to parchment and ink.

As determined orphans,
we let fall our thoughts;
Not from pursed lips
but forged hearts.
721 · Dec 2021
Unchecked
ryn Dec 2021
.
Second by second
Time flits by so, so quickly
Lost in the abyss

.
721 · Aug 2017
Much Peace Needed
ryn Aug 2017
I'm in my place.
A tiny space I've claimed for myself.

Though I share this spot,
right now it's mine.

With the door latched shut,
I leave the disorderly world,
just an arm-span away.

In my makeshift asylum,
I still hear calls from the outside.
Beckoning and inviting me into
the unrelenting foray...
Pointless skirmishes,
and mistimed altercations.

When all I want is...
To be alone; be empty
and devoid of unruly thoughts in my husk.
Because in the rare silence,
I desperately seek peace.

Peace with my past.
Peace with myself.
So I don't eat myself whole.
Because my world still needs me.
720 · Mar 2021
Sway
ryn Mar 2021
A vessel

with no harbour...


Adrift with its anchor.

That had dangled and swayed,

almost mindless...


As if caught in an entrance -


in the spell
of persuasive currents.
718 · Jul 2023
Strings
ryn Jul 2023
.

I’ve grieved…
Not so much over what was lost.
More so the way
I tried to bury these memories.

Candles…
that for a time once,
stoked hale,
unflickering flames.

All tied to strings
that lead straight to my heart
and all partially buried…
In many a shallow grave.

•••

Perhaps because a deeper tomb
would mean a lesser purchase
and looser grip on these strings.

I never could let go…


.
713 · Jan 2022
Resuscitate
ryn Jan 2022
Let the air
speak of unseen candour.
Let the zephyr
mill, mingle and tease.

Breathe into hearts
so they beat a little quieter.
Resuscitate man
- and ease him off his knees.
711 · Dec 2017
Closure
ryn Dec 2017
.
He'd arrived at the door
many times.
His fingers would always
wrap around the **** with surety
and little hesitation.

He’d pause...
Just to relish the initial sting
of the coolness
in the brass and let it
soothe the creaks in the bones
and skin on calloused fingertips.

When he was ready,
he’d twist but
his wrist wouldn't work.
Like a hinge that hasn’t seen grease,
it wouldn't comply.
It would freeze because
he is afraid...

He knows well what awaits
beyond the threshold of this doorway.
He knows of what he craves
that calls like a siren beyond the door.

But yet...
He’s afraid.
Because what he wants the most
scares him so.

And opening this door leads to...




Closure.


.
711 · Jul 2019
Holding My Breath
ryn Jul 2019
Seconds pass
into an overbearing silence.

Holding my breath...

A lull in my chest -
nothingness that
seemed to stretch into forever.

•••

Just a bit more...
before the lungs would relent.

And the heart would speak again.
709 · Aug 2017
Unperched
ryn Aug 2017
A leaf that falls from its perch
meets its death as it crumbles to dust
and is consumed by the earth.

It embodies the soil and is then
consumed again...
This time by its brethren.

A mind that falls from its perch,
its pedestal, meets its doom...
In a slow, agonising descent
that does not yield any end.

It falls endless...
crashes through layers of truth,
caught in webs of the untruthful.
Stretches apart and collapses into
itself until death comes to claim,
disguised as madness.
703 · Sep 2017
Shelter
ryn Sep 2017
Let us hunker down...

Let's submit to each other's embrace,
and may our arms form
our very own private sanctuary.

Let us be shielded
from the debris and shrapnel
of malicious intent.

Let our fingers be free
to wipe the dirt and tears
from each other's eyes.

Let us be afraid together,
for in this cocoon,
there may yet be some mettle.

Let us still be sheltered...
For the storm is not yet over.
702 · Sep 2017
Misaligned
ryn Sep 2017
These words must go out.
I can't keep them in.

There was never the right time.
There were never favourable conditions.


But tonight...
The words have formed,
the heart willing,
and opportunity ripe.

Let fall the contents so carelessly...
So they may be caught by magnanimous ears.


But so many variables need to align
in sync.
So many delicate parts to click nicely in place.

Tonight was a chance grossly misread.
I conveniently indulged in signs that had me misled.

So again I swallow...
For tonight no ears are ready.
700 · Mar 2018
Before I Begin
ryn Mar 2018
Let no eyes
see the hidden flame

Let no skin
feel the flutters within

Let no palms
grab with no aim

Let no legs
falter before I even begin
700 · Oct 2017
Understanding
ryn Oct 2017
I hope you understand
when my lips seal shut
and my touch,
empty and cold.

I hope you understand
when my words are hardly
voiced and my silence
grow thick and bold.

I hope you understand
when I appear disconcerted
and this skin just rubs me irate.

I hope you understand
that I am in battle
and the demons
are at the gate.
692 · Apr 2021
Moonman
ryn Apr 2021
.
he lays
perfectly still,
with his back,
one with the ground.

his hand,
tracking the cadence
in his chest,

as he
milks poetry
out of the moon.



.
689 · Apr 2020
Solo
ryn Apr 2020
I will remember
the song that my heart
played percussions to.

I will sing the words,
with no one else,
to a song made for two.
689 · Apr 2021
Salve (10w)
ryn Apr 2021
.
sore is the wound
that rejects
the salve of time

.
687 · Nov 2017
Surprise
ryn Nov 2017
Received a surprise.

A massive ball
of depression,
anxiety and
hyperventilation.
All laced and
bundled up
with fancy ribbon
tied in a bow,
served on
an ornate platter
and accompanied by
a quaint little
card which I
only read later.

It read,

“Choke on this *******.
Happy birthday.”


.
687 · Aug 2023
Mother
ryn Aug 2023
.

Sat there
and stroked her hand
while she slept.

And as I traced each wrinkle,
upon every knuckle,
each told me stories.

Stories of my growing up,
that I knew,
which I’d long forgotten.

They reminded me
of my childhood mischief,
truancy and nonchalance.
They spoke to me of wilfulness.
They struck me
with shame of the audacity
and the occasional disrespect.

But I’m no longer pursuing
childish fantasies.
And I no longer see
through adolescent eyes.

So as she laid there fast asleep,
I hoped hopelessly and silently,
for her to read my thoughts
and feel my love…

While I stroked her hand
and wept.


.
683 · Nov 2017
Hallway
ryn Nov 2017
Stuck in a
narrow hallway.

White, clean...
Clinical.

Either walls display
a parade of
clean-cut doors...



But there aren’t any knobs.
671 · Sep 2018
Fears
ryn Sep 2018
Catch me as I fall
Again I’m tripping over
Truths and unsound fears
663 · Jul 2022
Coalesce
ryn Jul 2022
Burning stars,
set ablaze
according to teary eyes.

Discordant echoes,
spoken voiceless
by the void between them -
almost incoherent.

They must coalesce…

For there are whispers
of peace in unity,
and oneness…

There is promise
of balance in cohesion.
And subsequent tomorrows.

These notions,
scattered morsels,

they must coalesce…



We…

must coalesce.


.
662 · Aug 2017
Pandora
ryn Aug 2017
A box was opened today...

It had hidden invisible things I had not dared to fathom.
It locked in demons I've held at bay.

I see them now...
Callousness behind kind words.
Animosity muttered under muffled breaths.
Malice laced with every smile.

I was blind.
Or was it that I had conveniently chosen not to see?

Was I not intuitive?
Or was I indifferent?


The second had struck past...
I am now crestfallen.

The box is now open.
And I am haunted.
661 · Jul 2022
Unbeknownst
ryn Jul 2022
Bent to a slouch,
unbeknownst…

That we walk
never unladen.

And perhaps only later,
burdened
by the wreaths
around our necks.
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