Caitlin Grace Hansen: Favorites

Jul 2015 Caitlin Grace Hansen

Speeding

Jul 2015 Caitlin Grace Hansen

Brandon Brazel

Speeding

Anxiety for me feels much more fast-paced than others, or so it seems.
My mind takes full control as if I were a passenger in a car.
Looking side to side at all the other cars,
They all look the same yet different.
Then we get on the highway and everything changes.
It makes me want to be in a car wreck,
So my eyes can finally see the yield sign,
And my brain can stop going over the speed limit.

Can't help thinking about what bothers us, we have to deal with our demons.

#sad #depression #sadness #depressed #anxiety #thinking #cars #speeding

Jul 2015 Caitlin Grace Hansen

Dead silent

Jul 2015 Caitlin Grace Hansen

Davy

Dead silent

I'm 18 years old. All these 18 years, I've been alone, living in nearly complete silence. I always enjoyed being lonely and silent.
But since my near-death, this has changed. Now I hate being lonely, it eats away at me, it breaks me down. I used to live by silence, now the silence is slowly killing. The silence screams at me, telling me things I don't like. "You're nothing.", "You're no good to anyone.", "People don't want you around.". The silence burnt these words into my mind, I get reminded of them every day. I try so hard to just have at least 1 friend in my life, but now, I'm convinced even that is too much to ask...

I've written quite some poems, and I'd appreciate if you guys would let me know what you think about them, what I should change and what I should leave the same.

Jun 2015 Caitlin Grace Hansen

Goddess

Jun 2015 Caitlin Grace Hansen

MonkeyZazu

Goddess

I've been blessed
by a goddess
in disguise.
Her everyday dress
tries to suppress
but doesn't fool me.
I understand
who she is
fully.

Kindness incarnated.
Through her
in a sense
I feel liberated.
Judgement is non-existent,
for her love
only knows
acceptance.
Redemption is her touch.
That feeling...
Her love...
I just can't get enough. (pun intended ;)

But,
her transience...
I'm left in pain
from her absence.
Regardless,
my faith
still remains.

Has she pulled
the wool
over my eyes?
Maybe so
I admit it
I'm hypnotized.
Mesmerized even.
Right now
her love
is the only thing
I believe in.

TMN <3

Blacked Eyed Peas - Just Can't Get Enough
https://youtu.be/OrTyD7rjBpw
-

#love #her

Jun 2015 Caitlin Grace Hansen

(not) Beautiful

Jun 2015 Caitlin Grace Hansen

Parnini

(not) Beautiful

I am not beautiful...
        I am choked up tears, cover-up smiles
        the kind of light that turns you blind
        from having too less or more than enough.

I am not beautiful...
        I am scratched out scars, burnt out heart
        the kind of storm that wrecks up lives
        creeping stealthily through the night.

I am not beautiful...
        I am not your quintessential girl
        the kind that walks with a perfect stance
        swaying waist of 26" and pretty face all made up

I am not beautiful...
      I am edges and curves, messy hair and everything you *never dreamt of
       The kind that repulses you by skin, and attracts you by mind
       Someone you'll never know because. . .

I am not beautiful.

Ok. So this is a tribute to all the girls out there who feel inferior in some way or the other to someone else because of their looks. Who crouch up infront of a mirror singling out every pimple, every scar, every curve of cellulite wishing em away.

No, I'm not going to say you're beautiful. I'm not going to say those girls you stalk on instagram and facebook are plastic dolls. I will say, it's okay. Its okay if you're not pretty. It's okay because at the end of the day there is always going to be someone better, smarter, kinder, prettier than you. Its okay because nobody has it all. Its okay because there are other things you have. You could be a writer, a poet, a dancer, a stand up comedian, a cartoonist... heck, anything!

The world these days is obsessed with made up faces. It categories humans into ugly and beautiful then says the only thing that's true is inner beauty. **** that. You don't need that. Its okay to be you. Being beautiful isn't everything. It's okay to be not beautiful.

Hugs and love,
P

#poem #poetry #life #pain #beautiful #beauty #thoughts #soul #scar

Jun 2015 Caitlin Grace Hansen

Sex

Jun 2015 Caitlin Grace Hansen

Sam Clemens

***

The moment of
utopia
Where ragged breath is
broken
And for a second,
gravity consumes the both of us

A small section from a longer poem

#love #***

Jun 2015 Caitlin Grace Hansen

Every Day She Saves Me

Jun 2015 Caitlin Grace Hansen

Jack Ghaven

Every Day She Saves Me

I still think of ending it all
Every now and again
Been awhile since my last fall
But now is different from then
I have a reason to smile
She gives me one every day
And it's been a long while
Since I've felt this way
But old habits die hard
And I'm really not that far
From the same schoolyard
Where I got these scars
From the pain I let overtake me
From all the nightmares on repeat
But that's not all that makes me
I will not wallow in defeat
As each day dawns
I find strength in her eyes
To continue to carry on
To break away from all my lies

There is no love like a woman's.

#love #suicide #depression #her #aboutagirl #headcase

Jun 2015 Caitlin Grace Hansen

•

Jun 2015 Caitlin Grace Hansen

J

•

I'm missing you like crazy,
Surviving ain't easy.
Without you I'm lazy.
My thoughts so noisy,
While I'm feeling so lonely.
Everything so empty.
Maybe you aren't ready,
So let's not get hasty.
The time we've got are plenty.
Let's start friendly,
Then we can get steady
Even until we're twenty.
The possibilities, so many.
So everything matters, even how petty.
I wouldn't want any.
Except the one with you already.

What a terrible poem, but I've spoken yet it's quite broken. Such a bad rhyme, should've put more time, but it's just this onetime.

#badpoem

Jun 2015 Caitlin Grace Hansen

Depression.

Jun 2015 Caitlin Grace Hansen

bryce

Depression.

It comes when it is least expected.
Its an Avalanche of bad emotions.
Old feelings flood into your head, along with faded memories.
It Destroys Good things and times.
It takes away sleep and happiness.
Makes you ragged and stressed,
Depresssed.

Jun 2015 Caitlin Grace Hansen

Without you

Jun 2015 Caitlin Grace Hansen

niamh

Without you

I will dance with your ghost
And wrap my loving arms
Around nothing.
I will smile at shimmering air
And rest my weary head
Upon nothing.
I will laugh at unheard jokes
And show my dimples
To nothing.
I will look at myself
In the mirror.
Just nothing

Having a drink listening to a story about a man dying too young & torturing myself imagining how I would feel without my husband x