I was terrified of water more than I feared death,
From the youngest age,
Looking back I guess this makes since,
I was the first to climb a tall ladder,
I was the first to climb over fences,
Talk to strangers,
I had no fear of death,
It had no bound on me,
Still I was afraid of water,
One day I woke up in my little green bed,
And decided I wanted to swim,
Before my fear would make me watch as the other children did,
So what's a toddler that can barely walk to do?
Give up? no no!
I had my mind set on it,
So I stumbled right down to the end of the dock,
One little leg lifted,
Followed by another,
I was in the water,
I almost drown that day,
But death did not prevail then,
I was not allowed on the deep end for years and years after other kids,
I grew up watching,
Dreaming,
Hoping,
That one day I would swim,
My father was too busy to teach me,
My mother was too sick to swim herself,
Relatives were far away,
So I grew up in kiddie pools,
It was boring,
So very boring,
Still years later,
Even the sight of a kiddie pool bores me,
I did not give up,
Although it was drilled into my head that the deep end is dangerous,
And so is swimming alone,
And so is not wearing a life vest,
And so is walking alone by water,
And that drowning was bad,
Very very bad,
It was drilled into my head that it should be my biggest fear,
And so it did,
But still,
Me being me I did not give up,
I would grab onto the edge of the sides of my little kiddie pool,
And paddle paddle my little feet,
I could stay afloat for a few seconds,
It took me years,
Years,
To learn how to swim,
No one taught me how,
I just tried and tried,
It still took me years to not be afraid of drowning,
That still haunts me,
But I'm still not afraid of tall ladders,
Or climbing over fences,
Or talking to strangers,
I love to swim,
I loved to swim even before I could swim,
I realized something recently,
The criticism from my family,
The jabs from my friends,
All about how I couldn't swim,
Made me want to swim even more,
And I did!
They never admitted that they were wrong,
My grandma thought I was slow I'm sure,
Now I've proved her wrong and all the others,
Yet still,
They expect me to fail,
I'll just keep remembering,
How they meant to tear me down,
But instead build me up,
That is the story of how I learned to swim.

Dear, I'm going on an adventure and it's beginning now
Away from the heartache, away from the sorrow I go
I'm letting the light in
This is where my adventure begins
I choose to no longer be the shadow cast by the light
Instead I've decided to be a candle
Though it be small compared to others
One day it will spread and become a roaring wildfire
There are so many negative people leading negative lives
I've been one for so long
But that part of me is dying
Only the light will remain
As I sit here with the path rocky and unclear
I cast my eyes on the sky, I know
I'm leaving for my adventure now
It may take a while for me to reach my destination
But no later than a lifetime
Which is rather short after all
My heart was weighed and burdened
Now it is a candle
While being small
I worry not
It's soon to be a roaring wildfire
Burning bright among the night

Monsters crawl in the dark crevices in my brain.
Let me go! Leave!
I'm so tired!
Do you know what it's like reader?
Your eyes scan these words but do you understand?
Young girl, boy, old woman, man, do you?
I wish I knew if you could relate.
Do you know what it's like to exist in a world that doesn't exist.
The real world is just outside but I can't escape my own.
Monsters are everywhere.
Seeping in, scratching at my door.
I let them in every time.
They simply tell me to.
I can't escape..
I want all thoughts to leave my mind and let me be.
I want to go back and not be so alone.
I felt so alone.
That is why I created the monsters.
Only to keep me company.
I was a lonely child.
Everyday I would wake alone.
Every night I would sleep alone.
I was alone.
I was a lonely child.
Loneliness in turn raised me.
It nurtured the monsters.
The monsters shaped me.
I wish I could go back and not be alone.
Loneliness is deadly.
I was lonely for too long.
I was lonely for too long.

I woke up from a nightmare in which I was alone.
In a shattered glass room ghostly existing.
Separated from my home I know not where.
Only wishing to arrive at my destination when I was finally free.
The moon seemed lifeless then.
The stars seemed bland.
The trees seemed haunting.
The air seemed thin.
I had never felt more alone than in that dream.
It was full of terrifying horrors that laughed and sang.
Each task I would do would seem daunting and vain.
I tried each night to wake for I knew it was a dream.
But it was not the night that haunted me for everything slept then.
But when the day came it was then when horrors crept in through the slots in my vent.
They would hide in the light to trick souls who passed.
Wearing faceless masks with gems and jewels hiding their wicked souls.
They proclaimed themselves the best in the dreamworld.
It was not true I knew but they tucked me away in my empty room made of shattered glass.
It was then I woke up and realized it’s true.
That I had a dream.
A cruel dream.
Of a haunted existence alone without you.