A house that needs a cleaning
Gardens that need tending
Groceries for the larder
And a fence that needs some mending

Grass is nearly one foot high
The dog, he needs a walk
He's gotten just so overweight
But, who am I to talk

Donations to deliver
Things that need be done
A tree to trim a little
But no time to have fun

It takes up all of my spare time
It almost makes me dizzy
I've been retired seven years
And I've never been so busy

From the east coast to the west
And all points in between
Exploring places unexplored
Places no one's been

Ship disasters and the railroads
The highways and the sea
The woodlands and the cities
A trip through history

Who will tell the stories?
Now the painter has passed on
Who will tell the stories?
Now the Troubador is gone

Painted ladies in the taverns
Sailors on the ships
Don Quixote on the shoreline
The words flow from his lips

Lost loves and the heartbreak
Snowfall and some wine
The circle that is  smaller
A navvie on the line

Who will tell the stories?
Now the painter has passed on
Who will tell the stories?
Now the Troubador is gone

Reading minds and pony men
A nation at its' start
A love story at sundown
Songs sung from the heart

Painting pictures in our heads
With no paint just words
Close your eyes and listen
His voice flying with the birds

Who will tell the stories?
Now the painter has passed on
Who will tell the stories?
Now the Troubador is gone

The world is now in mourning
For our Queen who has passed on
A son succeeds his mother
A mother who has gone

A King who stood in waiting
Learning lessons from the past
A Prince while on the sidelines
To whom the mantle now is passed

Another one is watching
For his turn the Prince will wait
The King is King through bloodlines
The Queen was Queen by fate

So, once the mourning's over
Let the church bells ring
The Queen has gone to heaven
And so...God Save The King

Life is more than a straight line
You're born, you live, you die
You can't avoid the ending
No matter how you try

The middle part, son...that is yours
How you live is up to you
Forget about the ending
Go do what you must do

Go.....Celebrate your crazy
Go streaking in the wood
Go...Celebrate your crazy
Around your neighborhood
Go...Celebrate your crazy
Kiss someone you don't know
Break the mold from normal
Go...let your crazy show

Go to work each morning
Don't think about the ride
Do your eight and hit the gate
Keep your feelings deep inside

Hit the house, and grab a beer
Walk the dog, then home
Boring stuff, no fun at all
So, Let your crazy show

Go.....Celebrate your crazy
Go streaking in the wood
Go...Celebrate your crazy
Around your neighborhood
Go...Celebrate your crazy
Kiss someone you don't know
Break the mold from normal
Go...let your crazy show

Life is just a journey
It's a one way ticket trip
So...change the way you live it
And...Let your crazy rip

I woke up, it was a 3 whiskey morning
I still felt the night before
Partied hard, till the sun was dawning
I woke up on the floor

A 3 whiskey morning is the one that you find
You need to shotgun 3 before you lose your mind
I woke up to a 3 whiskey morning
Trying hard to leave last night behind


I woke up, it was a 3 whiskey morning
Can't remember what I'd done
But you know when it's a 3 whiskey morning
Whatever happened must have been fun

I woke up it was a 3 whiskey morning
I'll tell you why it's 3 and not 4
Ran out of whiskey the first time it happened
Empty bottles, well son, they don't pour

A 3 whiskey morning is the one that you find
You need to shotgun 3 before you lose your mind
I woke up to a 3 whiskey morning
Trying hard to leave last night behind

Anyone can enter your church
No matter what their age
Mine, well, you have to be legal
At least in the section that doesn't serve food

Yours smells of incense and candle wax
The air smells of wood polish
Mine has stale beer and on humid days
Remnants of cigars and cigarettes from years ago

We have windows that can open
But, most times they are painted shut
Yours, beautiful colors of glass
Images from the bible, glorious

You have a choir singing the grace of God
My place of worship has live bands once a month
Karaoke on Fridays with wanna be singers
Making us pray to God for it to end

You have pictures of Saints on your windows
And tapestries on the walls
The closest we have is posters of sports teams
And The St. Pauli girl promoting beer

You will never find me at your church
But, we may find you in ours on occasion
We don't have sacramental wine like you
But, we do have a larger drink menu for all

People come to your church to wash away their sins
Then a few hail Mary's and a Lord's Prayer
With us, they come to drown their sorrows
And our hail Mary's have bacon, 2 for 1 on Sunday

Our sky pilot will listen like your pastor
He doesn't judge unless you get too drunk
But, that's on him, not you
Your pastor won't judge, but, still gives penance

I know where I am Sunday
I know where you are too
Your church is not always open
Mine's good from 10 till 2

Last night I heard a Nightingale
My wife, she heard it too
I yelled out the bedroom window
Florence. Is that you?