Sweet sounds of silence
Sounds like a dream
Makes me feel like napping
a deep peaceful sleep
From which never to awaken
Or maybe instead
An awakening
better than in a dream
Unimaginable perfection
It's what I want to be
So as not to be less than
what you need

It's not hard to see
once you stop staring
Noticing every flaw
Imperfect is easy

We lose hope
looking at eachother
don't even wonder
about his brilliance anymore
but it's there anyway
just waiting to be discovered

Nobody compares
nothing is as amazing
No stars shine brighter
because his love is healing


Untouched
Untouchable
Brilliance
Unmatched
Unmatchable resilience
His patience is incredible
And there's nothing
Like his forgiveness
Unmatched
Untouchable brilliance

All we can do is imitate
We aren't even carbon copies
We fail and fail again
He snaps his fingers and bam!
His decisions stand
without failing


Look at gravity
Look at the impossibility
Incomprehensible designs
Perfect in everyway
We try but we can't compete

Untouched
Untouchable
Brilliance
Unmatched
Unmatchable resilience
His patience is incredible
And there's nothing
Like his forgiveness
Unmatched
Untouchable brilliance

Do not dig please
Leave it
burried deep
Layers upon layers
scars so thick
Creating a wall
Guarranteed to hide
Comfortably numb
it's alright
Love is here
Where loyalty is mine
even though outside
It may seem I'm
Unwanted

I don't want to hear anymore
I never want to feel unwanted
This knot in my stomach
I am tired of being the scapegoat
It's been time, I know it,
Might as well face it
Once the trust is gone it's over
Nothing is all that exists of us
Nothing but a memory
A fantasy
Of something you would throw away
Again and again
Throwing me away like trash
Like yesterday I am forgotten
As is this tragic story of we
So hide it in a box
Never to be told,
A nightmare of us
& all we tried to be

I want to be free
Free to be myself
Free to be okay with
noticing you notice me
I want to be okay
with my silhouette
I don't want to get over it
I want to be okay
I want to laugh
Laugh at me, I want to be silly
I want to feel happy
I'll never understand why
I cry and cry
I refuse to accept me
So I'll never be
what I wanted
I guess that's alright now
I'm still learning
What I'm supposed to know
I am not so good at being me
I'd like to switch places
instead I'll sleep

All I hear is gushing water
rolling over the side of the cliff
An excited amount
At full speed no less!
Fast enough to ****
Beautiful enough for temptation
Flowing into Blasts
Of foaming white clouds
Rainbows appearing in the mist
Calming now
It winds down
turning into
a clear babbling brook
Turquoise blue
So calm
Serene

Then
without warning
Fierce
Tumbling over boulders
Furious intimidation!

A mighty creation

I am not he
Though I long
for unity
We
are puzzle pieces
bent
yet not crippled
Beyond healing
Are the pieces
irreparable
damaged until
they no longer
believe they fit
Take my hand
Of support
Let me listen
Learn to stay
For I am laughter, I am love
I yearn to let you in
Love overwhelmes
unhealthy callous reasonings
Love can ease the ache
Warm the frozen
Heal the broken parts
what is needed
Is we

If flowers bloom in the snow
if life peeks through concrete
If the earth continues to grow
come what may
If trees stay rooted so deep
If new life is found in oceans
& the study of our surroundings
is unending treasures
Since such is the case
We could live forever
If we were never melancholy
If we could stay busy
If there were only happy things
to do or say
that would keep our interest
If money were non existent
If nothing had a price
If sickness & death were of the past
and age stayed in the prime of life
If energy were abundant
and love ruled as king
We could live forever
& we'd never want for anything

I'm okay with nothing
I wasn't made for much
Always wanted to do something
but somethings never enough
So I turn into
my own little world
Still a sad little girl
Don't laugh at my pain
roll your eyes in my face
I know your watching me die
Inside and outside
alI I wanted was love
guess that was just too much
Intuition isn't such a gift
When you see so clearly
Can't pour from a empty cup
When you've only
become everybody's charity
Now they believe
they can be redeemed.
What am I here for
when all of this is
just make believe

I ask my daughter one day, what do you want to be when you grow up? She said to me, "Mommy when I grow up I want to be a pig" she loved pigs and I laughed, she was 4. A few years later I ask her again, her reply this time: "I want to be me, only I want to do whatever I want!"  I thought, how smart. We don't need a label or a sign slapped across our foreheads to define us. We are good enough to be anything we want anytime we want! So don't be ashamed if one day you change because, guess what, minds change, if we want them to. We are not too old to dance or sing, & we are never too old to play. So I stopped asking her what she wanted to be, I finally understood, she was already happy & there's nothing more she could ask for.

If I closed my eyes and clenched my fists
Crossed my fingers and bit my lip
said a prayer & made a wish
If I made my wish with interesting words
Or if those words were a song I could sing
A song I could sing to you
Would you sing along or sway with me?
Would that song melt your heart enough
make you want to live again
Would it make you want to stay home
pick up a hobby that makes your hands happy
to save your laugh from dying
or your eyes from crying
Would it bring you back to us?
If it would I would do it
Everyday

What would life be like
If there were no deadlines
No rush, no hurry
No waiting in line
No jammed up traffic
Or chaotic lunch hours
No frustrated looks
Everyone is smiling
Waving to say "hello!"
On their way to somewhere
They want to be

Imagine if you will
It begins with
A coral & blue sun rise

Slowly you stretch
Close behind
Is a warm cozy cuddle
Holding a hot cup of tea
A delicious home made breakfast with loved ones

Mid morning is spent
in your garden
Hands cultivating rich soil
Flowers greet your senses
Beauty catching your eye
from every angle
Satisfaction is all you feel
Knowing everything you need
Is there in your fruit trees
The ones you planted
In the garden beds
The ground provides everything
Without cost

It is mid day
A soak sounds nice
As long as you like
Hey, why not go for a hike?
To waterfalls
Or a river bed
Or climb a mountain side
Do whatever you want
Leave the country!
There are no boundaries

You won't grow old
Because you have eternity
Age does not exist
Unless we count the years
And there are no more tears
Because sin has disappeared

There's a million things to do
You're happy and healthy
You have day and night
There's joy in every thing
& no exhaustion in sight
What if
Everything I said
Is possible
What would you give up today?
What if there was only
One way
But that way
Is sometimes uncomfortable
Would that make you
Want to do what it takes?
Would that make you
Try to learn what might
Seem implausible?

Release the knots of emotion
bound by cages,
walls that taunt the mind.
Express your frustration
bleed through the pen,
unheard & stunted feelings
leave them all behind.

What's worse to you?
Being ignored or being used?
How about when they're interlaced
Still impossible to choose
Either way you see it
No matter what
You lose

When I think of love
I think
There is no such thing

when I die
I want to be forgotten as if I never existed
I wish for my family to lose my  memory
so they never have to feel the pity
so they can be happy and smile
I wish to be gone in a snap
without machines to support my life
to keep me hanging on


when I die
I just want to be **gone

Love is confusion; deliriously delicious.  Running across the highest high wire, we end up falling endlessly. It  happens once. Agape is possible twice or more... only Eros  happens once in a lifetime. Romantic bliss is innocence, innocence that cannot be duplicated. Bliss that blinds the owner of your heart. The burn consumes, missing deeply when it fades yet lingers in memories forever, never allowing true freedom. Love can leave you broken when you hit the ground. Coming to,  you try to lift yourself up.... only to find him in every song, in every picture, in every laugh. Sometimes love catches you when you fall, 50 years later embracing out of memories, attachment unbreakable. Passing within weeks of each other out of sheer heartache..
When you fall it is completely.

Who knew there was a Fibonacci sequence to a spiral shell or constellation?

Who knew the seeds of a sunflower were so intricate; 30 something this way... 53 that?

Who knew roots needed fungus
Who knew water could rise 60 ft. or more through trunks to branches, twigs and leaves?

Is your mind boggled yet?

That's all I want to know
Why only certain days qualify
To be grateful, thankful, loving and kind
Why only once or twice a year
Why not all the time?
To be together as a family
To help one another
To contribute to community
to be joyful together
That's all I'm confused about
Days are dedicated to money
Even though every year we have 365
Why oh why does money precede
when what we love is alive

I am heart & soul
I am nobody special
I don't claim to be
I write what I know
I write when Im mad
I write when I'm blue
I write about everything
I write just for you
I write about love
Though I know not
I'm just writing each line
with all of my heart

"If wishes were horses everyone would ride"*
If God were mediator privacy
Would reside in crevices
Deep within
Where only 2 could share
Understanding

He has the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. The biggest heart or so it seemed. He is an amazing father, a strong man, domineering but communicative, he is everything I've ever wanted. The most shocking thing I could not conquer is the fact that he's also a womanizer

Your words
"I never want to hurt you"
sting terribly

Wouldn't it be awesome if
life was like the show friends
a group of 4 or 5 sitting around
BS-Ing  all day
"I'll be there for you" rings true
unconditional acceptance  
life is easier to bear
heartaches heal with a few good laughs
oh wouldn't it be awesome
If TV were real

Nuzzled up against him;
her ***** in his chest
The widest smile she could make
across her face was spread.
Adjoining with his own,
picture perfect together.
Best friends in a vow,
.....but never ever lovers?
He said, "Lovers come & lovers go
Friendship lasts forever"
Oh but darlings don't you know?
The two should be together.
Cherished friendship,
where forgiveness blossoms,
endless trials
cannot stop them
Together their love is enough,
Would you separate love?

Always alone
until you came along
Giving me somewhere to belong
Ours was an adventure
shared by no other
Worthy of envy
so we held on stronger
I'd never felt so many feelings
I was needing to be with you
If only I knew
Oh how much you wanted me too
Absence should've
Made the heart grow strong
With us
everything went wrong
Up's down's
this and that's
You do whatever while I just nap
Disagreeing
on everything
You knew just how
to pull my strings
Blowing up
when I wanted to leave
Trying hard
to capture me
Place me in a cage
where I could never be free
That's not love dear
That's just
You and Me

I told you I
believe
it's just
way too late.

You came back
telling me
It's okay to
take breaks...

How can we
build anything
on avoidance
and mistakes?

My mistakes
Your mistakes
Our foundation
has breaks,
It's broken

When did
you ever admit?
Apologize
to me, for dismissing
my feelings?
For making me feel
like nothing?

Why should I
act like it's okay?
We cannot become
One
With so much space