You said you were my friends,
You said that you'd tell me everything you thought about me,
You made promises to me that you couldn't keep..
It's my fault for believing you.

I believed every lie you said,
I even thought you were my bestest friend.
I loved you like a sister,
I thought you were my family.

I trusted you for the longest time,
But you've always been keeping secrets, haven't you?
You left out how much you hated me,
How much pain I caused you just by being near.

Were all your kind words and laughs... were they all fake?
Was I living a lie that I thought was right?
All I've ever done was wipe the tears from your cheeks...
But I was the one who caused them, wasn't I?

You told me ever stupid thing I've done wrong,
You yelled at me and shattered my heart,
You made me look like a fool in front of the entire class.
You laughed at me when you saw the tears in my eyes.

I learned the truth this day, this very day,
That every kind thing I've ever done was ridiculed.
That two of my best friends talked about me behind my back,
And pointed out my every flaw.

When you pointed out all my mistakes,
All the pain I never tried to cause,
You grinned and I cried.
My heart broke while yours grew stronger.

Nobody spoke up to defend me,
They just listened to your every word, believing every bit.
I can't even look myself in the mirror now,
Without my heart crumbling to dust.

All my friends that I've ever loved....
Why do they tell other people what I do, instead of coming to me?
Instead of telling me that I should fix it,
They talk behind my back... stabbing me with a ****** knife.

I've lost all control know, I can't take this pain anymore...
Why have you done this?
Was your goal, from the very beginning, aimed to break my heart?
I think, I understand now, whose fault it really is...

It's my fault for believing all my friends when they said I could trust them.
*(True story that happened about a month ago.

A baseline that you feel in your chest,
Humming thick in your ears,
And your mouth,
You just want to live in their blur of impactful words,
That you don’t understand,
Because it’s just a baseline to you,
But have you ever felt so proud of someone?
That what they’re saying, or what they’re playing or who they’re being,
Becomes the only thing that’s keeping off the rain,
And you can see every tooth in the room,
Every heart that becomes unbroken and
        every heart that breaks,
Well it’s a shooting star,
Baby it’s gold dust,
Because his gaze is tattooed on your body,
Under your sweater,
Under your skirt,
Yours is a crime scene littered with his fingerprints,
But you’re no ****** victim,
Jackie,
       Jane,
             Joan,
Wife,
     Mother,
             Daughter,
Survivor,
          Protector,
                     Warrior,
Woman,
Know when it’s dark,
And subtle shadows are all that remains of your bodies,
Finding all the bones in your shoulder,
The piano strings that move your fingers,
And each indentation of your spine,
Is a bible,
But God won’t give him strength,
It’s your skeleton that is fortitude,
You’re the dragon protecting the castle,
You’re Rosie the Riveter,
You can hold up the world with perfectly manicured hands,
You will listen,
And you will care,
Let him breathe in the fractions of your soul that you exhale,
That way,
Every standing ovation and
     every wound that heals,
Is saturated with the influence of you,
Though you don’t understand,
That baseline you can feel in your chest,
It is your to be proud of too.

Find someone to hold you at your weakness.
Find someone that doesn't care about how you look.
Find someone that doesnt care how much you eat.
Find someone who knows you so much.
Find someone to be your rock.
Find someone to be loved...
Someone that will love you no matter what.
Someone that will never let you go, never gonna give up and never gonna break free.

For the last time;
Let me refresh your memory..
I was the one who actually cared for you. I was the one who stuck around even when everyone told me to leave. I was the one who loved you even when you gave me every reason not to. Lastly, I was the only one who was there for you when no else does.

her favorite story growing up was peter pan
because she wanted to be like him
she wanted to be fearless she wanted to be a leader
but more important she didn't want to grow up

her world was made of things that didn't exist
her mind was filled with thoughts that didn't belong there

it was never a struggle to be different
it was a fight to fit in.