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  Jul 2014 Renukha Selvaraja
unwritten
i.

they say that when you drown,
it's nothing like in the movies;
it's silent.
there's no splashing,
no screaming,
no kicking or crying for help.

just
silence.

and i guess it's true,
for i am drowning --
there is water in my lungs,
pouring into my heart,
filling my veins and escaping from my eyes --
yet i cannot speak.

i am rendered speechless
by you.

ii.

i'm not so sure if it's
the smooth white sand
ingrained in your skin,

or the intricate seashells
that are your daintily painted
fingernails.

maybe it's the pulsing red
of a moon during high tide
that shines through
your scarlet lips,

or maybe
it's the crashing waves
filling the ocean in your eyes.

maybe it's the way you sweep me up
and pull me under,
stealing my breath,
invading my thoughts.

or maybe it's how you
are unpredictable.
you are in alliance with the erratic skies
and fickle moon,
and yet,
no one can control you,
no one can predict your next move.

iii.

i find it fascinatingly beautiful
how easy it is
for you to destroy yourself,
how you hide within raging whirlpools
and tear yourself apart from the inside.

people are afraid of the ocean,
but the ocean is a part of you.
who knows, though?
maybe you're scared of the ocean too.

iv.*

beware the girl with the ocean eyes,
for a heart that is eaten away by the sea
can never be whole again.*

(a.m.)
idk.
  Jul 2014 Renukha Selvaraja
Anne
You whisper the words,
I hold them inside my being.
My heart explodes,
For the meaning.
Meaning,
Of love.
To hear those words,
Spoken from your lips,
Those words,
Meant to touch my soul.
They travel through my ears,
Down to my heart,
Warming my body on their way.

" I'm  in  love  with  you "

Those simple words you say.
Create in me,

E l e c t r i c i t y .
I spoke to him tonight.
I am alive.
-Anne
  Jul 2014 Renukha Selvaraja
wren
I never felt more alive than I did
That moment that you said
"I love you. I'm in love with you."
It was like electric currents
Shot clear through my vertebrae.
And I forgot to breathe for a moment.
And every day since then
At one
and two
and three
in the morning
I crave to hear it once more.
Because you've marked me.
You've etched yourself into my mind.
I told you, I made you promise
That you would stay
So you couldn't break my heart.
And you replied that
Breaking my heart would be
To throw your reason to wake up
Away.
And for that
I love you
Ever so much
More.

t.n.
  Jul 2014 Renukha Selvaraja
Deyer
I’ve heard the footsteps,
following me everywhere
and whispering in my ear

“failure”
And I’ve ignored them for the most part,
but sometimes they cut me off
and I just want to crumble
into a heap on the floor.

Although I sometimes see it as a barrier,
I’ve realized that the doubting voices exist
mostly pushing me forward
to challenge me.
When they gain a little ground and cut me off,
I change directions,
or even push this invisible force to the side
because I love a challenge

and Fear drives me forward.
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