It wasn’t fast or loud
It didn’t happen with a bang, or a crack, or a crowd.

It was more like sleeping.
A slow slip a lovely creeping.

It wasn’t a fall or a trip
It was an aching rip

I just looked at you
And I knew

But I wasn't surprised
It had been there all along I realized

But it had just opened its eyes
Beautiful brown ones full of love and void of lies.

That is how my love for you came,
Slowly and without shame.

you removed me
from your public profile
wiped it clean
like i never
existed

i wished you’d do this for so long
i’ve been an *** to you for years
playing a
stupid
game.

but now i wonder
did you remove me from your life too
from your memories
is there no hurt
where once love used to
be?

i hope you succeeded
to forget me
like i never did forget
you

why do i only remember
the bad things i did
but not
the things you said
that made me
angry

why do i
care
when we’ve been nobodies for
years

why do i feel guilty
when it takes two to play this game

i don’t know

i don’t know,

but i want to.

is like cotton twine,
if you put a match

to string, it will
burn away,

but if dipped
in beeswax

the flame will be
slow and sure.

As a child I was devout
Faithfully glued to
An idea with no truth

But I spoke clearly
Understood the fictions
Better than most adults did

Like little girls understand
Barbies, My little ponies
And monster high dolls

Like grown women
Who still want to be
The princess they saw
On Disney

Like little boys understand
GIJOE, Spiderman,
And Superman

Like grown men
Who still want to be
The Batman they saw
In movies on tv

I clung to this fair unreality
Hoping it would be redemption for me
Because the bruises and red marks
Demanded I believe
Insist I must need
A superhero Jesus to save me

While I was drowning in a sea of sin
I had to beg the divine to let me in
Noah’s Ark,

Hoping that god knows my heart
Was full of good intentions

But the bathroom florescent lights
Made me feel ugly
Like everyone was judging me
With all my pores and acne
With all the scar my mom gave me
Though she hid them perfectly
Just beneath my skin

I thought god would save me from her whims
Or at least take me away to be with him

Instead of leaving me in pain’s den
To lose those faithful delusions
One heartbreak at a time
One history and science lesson at a time
One standup routine and comic book at a time

Till I lost my taste for the divine
While at the same time
I was just plain losing my **** mind

~~
Never ignore a woman's gift
For it's the best thing she could give
Do not underestimate her offer
Never take it for granted or leave
~
She could give you a slice of cake
But she will choose to give you a whole
Her gift could be little in your eyes
But it's the total of her heart and soul
~
A woman's gift is not for the eyes
But for the spirit of those who feel
So never ignore a woman's gift
It is for you if you are real
~~

Tonight, I pray tomorrow
an orchestra brazenly
plays, and hounds

bay in tune, the sun
melts a path in the snow,
blue morning  stars glow;

all, so I can find my
sad and lonely
way.