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 Jan 2015 Porsche Newell
JDK
Remember when I told you that you don't scare me?
Ever wanted to go back
and never advance again?
Simply quit and lose all track
of the endeavors in vain?

The routine is your own bane
Will keep you from being sane
Oh, there is no greater pain!

Nothing's ever at your favour
Gotta take some time to savour
all those moments before labour

On a journey to the past,
ever steady to the course
Never running very fast,
pursuing a greater force

Onwards, keep calmly receding
Flee towards that place in time
You were once happily singing
That charming and joyful rhyme


*Once Joyful by João Massada is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
Another piece regarding my strong hedonistic thoughts
.....I will smother you with love.    
hang you with pride riddle your life
           with with bullets of art.

   I will drown you in bliss. Burry
you in everlasting kisses and throw  
         you into the well of your
                          wishes.

              At the end I will reap
    you with hope and **** you with
                 joy as you rejoice.
When you can't stop thinking about them because you love them so much you would do anything to see them smile.
I woke to the smell of ashes, hard oak and velvet wood. Wet rotting boards as soft as any pillow, gentle touch like a lover's embrace. The clock was ticking, but the hands made no move. A loud striking sound so out of place in the empty silence. A dying star amid the startling darkness. Its noise was violent, an assault upon my ears, my weary limbs itched with the intention of movement but their progress was slow. Phantom limbs moving material remains. Clothes, food, water, the bare bones essentials for a man with barely that. Watching myself move in the mirror, tuck in that nice dress shirt, like watching a corpse prepare itself for its own funeral. I looked like a walking bio hazard warning. Like the face you'd slap onto a pack of cigarettes to make sure the impressionable youth wouldn't buy them. I wasn't so sure if I looked like death, or if he just looked like me. I turned shrunken eyes away from my reflection, displeased with the distortion I saw there. I opened the door to empty streets, silent homes and lifeless skies. I took my first step into the city, solitude hanging from skyscrapers like a man from a tree. The quiet permeates all, as if the city were under water, and silence were the sea.
these horns, these horns, they weigh me down
they extend like branches towards the sun
and my head is forced to face the asphalt
while I never get to see the rushing headlights

my shadow is sewn to the soles of my sneakers
feet slowly being molded to cloven hooves
as I tip toe through then new year silverdust snow
to feed my few remaining stray familiars

I still live behind the old car wash
so there isn't going to be an inspirational landscape
only drunken demi-gods, dollars falling on deaf ears,
and a cutlass ciera in need of a catalyic converter

inev idiv iciv
One day it just stopped
The world that was spinning far too fast finally fell of its axis.
I woke up and I didn't feel like the world was collapsing in onto my shoulders.
I didnt want to rip my heart out of my chest.
But I didn't want to live.
It feels like I am drowning.
My lungs slowly filling up with water
I watch everyone else take a deep breath.
I can’t breathe. I can't breathe. I can’t breathe.
I am numb.
My eyes once vibrant seem dull.
Lifeless
There was nothing.
Going numb is not poetic.
I have to remember to make an attempt
I feel empty as if I made a bet with the devil and the devil won
My chest seems hollow.
It echo's with every heartbeat
I cannot bring myself to get up.
My mother pulls me out of bed
She asks me if I had taken my medications as if anti-depresents could save me from this emptiness inside
"They are what caused this"
She asks if I've cut recently.
I want to tell her that I would take the sensation of pain over nothingness every day.
I feel like a guest in my own home
A tourist in my own mu
Begging for anyone to help me escape the clutches of oblivion.
Nothing matters anymore.
There's just silence.
I am tired but not so tired
That I can’t get inspired
By A stranger’s smile
Wrinkles in the skin
Formed around the mouth
Dimples in the chin
Slightly obscured by
Two week worth of growth
Beautiful
Hazel eyes
No scent that I can catch
Slightly receding hairline
I wonder if the ****** fluff
Slides down to his chest
I smile back
And it’s mirrored
By a man I hardly know
I turn away to check for lint
And his lent matches mine
I guess it has been sometime
Since I stared into his eyes
I shave the fur from his face
And my friend is restored
Here is the man I knew
Your coy movements wave at the world's end.

Stuck within the hinge of a tear dollop,
Your form dances in and out of focus.
Emerging like acquainting whispers,
You are the unkept secret tucked away.

My mind barks orders to produce an image.
Gears hardly churn like chewing stale gum.
The very idea seems intruding,
Rendering your features would be rewarding.

Avoiding the gaze that may morph to a glare,
Foolishly scared like a cherry red kid.
Confidence regained, paralysis sustained.
My actions are planned and assembled.

Beneath my brow, muscles flex, tendons stretch;
My eyes become the second hand's twitch.

I turn to you already turned to me.
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