oh my Lord...
i so fear the unknown
what would my ending be?

"Sufficient is He for us"

O Love, O pure deep Love, be here, be now,
Be all – worlds dissolve into your
       stainless endless radiance,
Frail living leaves burn with your brighter
        than cold stares –
Make me your servant, your breath, your core.

so numbing it is
that i wonder if
even these tears
is only pretense

Forgive my eyes for being blind.
They only see pain.

Forgive my hands for shaking.
I can't stop them from being afraid.

Forgive this head for over-thinking.
I can't feel safe.

Forgive my tears for being absent.
My eyes are not aloud to cry.

Forgive my body for not being able to feel.
It isn't strong enough to bear it's pain.

Forgive my heart for being silent.
It was silenced long ago by a bad man.

How does it feel?
To pass by the people in the street,
knowing many of whom; you'll never greet,
in the blink of an eye and they're gone.

How does it feel?
To once again be all alone,
with no one to call your own,
singing a voiceless song.

How does it feel?
To press play on the cycle of repeat,
head full; never getting a moment to retreat,
You are the repercussions of your actions.

How does it feel?
To look through the world with faded eyes,
losing sight of a new surprise,
you only ever get one shot.

He says I care about you,
I love you but I can't be
In love with you right now.

What kind of excuse is that?

Just break me already.


-- Eleanor

My love doesn't love me anymore.
She says my kisses she abhors.
And living with me is a heinous chore.
To stay here... She'd rather be a street *****.
Throwing her wedding ring on the floor.
If she ever had to touch me again,
It would be to **** me she swore.
As she set fire to the wedding dress she wore.
"I hope you choke to death while you snore!"
"I hate you right down to your core!"
"You're such a hideous eyesore!"
"Grrr! The wasted yore!"
"Touch me, nevermore!"

There is a fact I can't ignore.
She wishes for me to leave,
it doesn't matter which door...
My love doesn't love me anymore.

She moaned the most painful moan
Drowned by the sound of laughter,
Veiled by always looking happy
And nobody heard it.


F.Z.N