I am a woman , I should be timid - They say
I am a human , I know no limit  - I say,

My existence is not meant for your judgment
Crushing me is not a sign of your triumphant,

My love for you has always been abundant
Why am I the one to make all the adjustments,

Look into my eyes , you'll see a twinkle
Savaging it , is so sinful,

My demand for freedom makes you reluctant
Clothed in societal norms , I have to bear its repercussion,

How are the governing laws so different for Both
What makes you so nervous of my growth,

Why do I have to fight for what is my right
Why do you enjoy my plight,


Being submissive is declared my attire
No one hears what my heart desires,

I am not the one to dance on your note
I am a volcano that erupts on my own,

I don't demand anything extraordinary
All I seek is equality,

Equality to Breathe without fear
Equality to be safe my dear!!!!!

I remember sitting with my legs crossed
at an empty parking lot with you.
Burning our lungs,
sharing our deepest secrets at 3am
while I rest my head
on your shoulder that cold summer night.
I sang along our favorite songs
and you wished that time stopped
so we could still be together.

But alas,

You are still too damaged.
You think too much.
You are too practical.
You are not yet ready for anything.

And I’m left confused
and angry
and frustrated
and a little bit hurt, I guess.

So here we are again,
so here we go again.

Who would have thought
that we would actually
burn even faster
than our cigarettes?

                                                    ­                        
 — apbq

long hair cut short.
apology after apology.
jackets often worn,
if not, sweaters or
long-sleeved tops.
anti-social,
not because
i hate people,
but i fear they hate me.
isolation in my bed,
sometimes,
panic attacks
in the bathroom.
constant overthinking,
whether 3 am or 3 pm.
scribbles thoughts
into poems,
but hides them.
pushes away,
even though i want
to pull them closer.