You are the sweetest of my torments.
You're the tangible torture of citrus
The bite followed by the ****
Fresh and unbearable in the same instance

You're the lemon zest scent;
Sultry, as I quarter fruit
In my hot summer kitchen.
You're the juice in the cut
As the knife knicks my thumb;
The sweetness meeting the wild coppery tang
of blood in my mouth.

You're in the twist in my chest
That exists somewhere between my heart and my stomach
Both organs being wrenched apart...
When I see your picture
And remember that we haven't spoken in months.

I enjoy distance
Long drives with no destination
Music blaring,  miles growing

I enjoy distance
Long walks to nowhere
The peace calms my restless soul

I enjoy distance
Little steps each day
Away from difficult situations

I enjoy distance
Between people and places
And me

I enjoy distance
It gives perspective
Emancipation

I enjoy distance
I also enjoy coming home
When distance has run its course

Your heart breaks into a million pieces,


& you just don't know anymore.

Stop making me fall for you
Please don't, unless you're willing to catch me
Stop making me smile every time I talk to you
I look like a weird creep laughing to myself
Stop making me feel butterflies in my stomach
It feels ticklish but empty, knowing you don't feel the same way
Stop taking me to all these beautiful places I've never been
I don't want to start thinking that maybe I'm special
Stop making me wonder how it feels like being warmly wrapped around your arms
I'm fine without it and I would like to believe that "...the cold never bothered me anyway"
Stop making me sound so poetic
It's frustrating how all my poems end up being about you
Stop making me think that you might like me
I don't want to start hoping that it's true
Stop appearing in my dreams every night
I don't like waking up wishing I would just stay asleep
Stop making me like you more and more everyday
I will find it hard to let go even if you weren't even mine in the first place
Most of all, stop making me fall for you
I can't afford having my heart even more broken than it already is
And you're responsible for it but I still foolishly fall hard for you anyway

Just let me read

I don't want to be here anymore
Just let me read so I can leave this world for a little while
Just a little break from the drama and the torture

That's all I ask
To be in a world with dragons and zombious plagues because its better than here
To have the ability to freeze time and have powers so I can finally be the one in control
To see God and Jesus because they promised to make my life easier
To be immortal and shapeshift because death does not exist

I need to be able to pause
To just place a bookmark in my life so I can continue the one that lives on the pages

I need the magic
I need the fairies and mermaids
I need the talking animals
I need to fly
I need the stories
I need the possibilities

I know, I know
Their just fiction
But sometimes I just need a happily ever after
Because I know ill never have one

Please just leave me with my books so I can just pretend for a little while

Read
till the words
are tattooed on your skin
and the ink is absorbed in your blood.

Read
till the stories
are your reality
and the characters make you fall in love.

Read
till every page
is familiar to you
Like your arteries and veins.

Read
till the last breath.
Then pick up a new book
And live again.

"I'm worth it."
"I'm worth it."
"I am beautiful!"
I whisper these words over and over to myself in the mirror,
Trying desperately to make the feeling of self-worth appear.
Trying to convince myself that I am not a mistake.

All I see are flaws,
All I feel is the imperfections,
Prickling,
Like burrs nestled into my skin.
I hear their opinions,
Their condemning lies,
All of their opinions,
Based on color, ***** and size.

Shattering the mirror,
I realize,
Society can ******* about my size.
I am worth it.
I am beautiful.