sometimes i wish
you'd see beyond
the color of my eyes
and the cloth wrapped around my head

i wish you would
think of me as an individual
put away my appearance
and regard me as a person

my thoughts matter
my ideas aren't all bad
i have opinions
and i choose to speak my mind
if only you would
listen to my words
and try to comprehend what i'm saying
rather than focusing on my accent
and the way my lips curve when i speak

the cloth on my head
does not rid me of ideas
it does not limit my mental capabilities
it does not lower my tolerance
have a debate with me
spark a conversation
instead of complimenting my smile
compliment my mind
instead of assuming that my beliefs are enforced upon me
ask me what i believe
ask me what i value

tell me what you base your morals on
question me
give me counterarguments
talk to me
instead of staring at me
and making biased assumptions
already concluding who i am
and where i come from
before you've even
said hello!

i am not just the color of my skin
i am not just the size of my thighs
i am not just the design of my clothes
i am not just the price of my purse
i am not just the pattern of my headscarf
i am not just the length of my nails
i am not just a body

i am a mind
i am a heart
i am a soul

i am my theories
i am my thoughts
i am my perceptions
i am my opinions
i am my viewpoints
i am my objectives
i am my purpose
i am my outlooks
i am my intentions
i am my reasons
i am my perspectives
i am my choices
i am my principles
i am my ideologies

i am a thinking, feeling, living, stimulated, motivated, inspired being

i've got a world inside of me
take a look see
before you choose to pass judgment on me.

cold rain
beat down

earth softens
bare feet
sinking in
cold wet
weeds
greener than
grass
softer
and natural

fur coats
running along

fox trots by
don't need your
pelt little friend
ones of
your family
living
eternally
watching
having  my back

great blue
heron
takes silent
flight

graceful
& majestic

soaring off

great great blessing....

no 2 leggeds
no beepers
no mowers
no blowers

deep cold mud
a delightful
quagmire
******* me
down
down down
down down
far below
into the ground

left alone
roaming the
night
the early
morn

just us
wee too

puppyhead
& me

SO solitary
SO free

Dear my urborn
I don't know if you would
be my daughter or my son
right now am in a point of
no return,trying to pay
attention without refund


I cant promise to win,
life is short I should
be writing my will


am writing my
wrongs,they are
trying to peep
I will make sure
mama is queen

you will be a blue
blood you will never
work in vein
you will be a blue
blood you will never
work in vain

it's true talk your dad
is insane because I
choose to be different
from those that are
the same

yours sincerely Gidi .Q

i cannot breathe at night
and maybe it's just the congestion
or maybe it's the constant fear of myself
that creeps into my mind through the night

the darkness brings darkness

I'm an anxiety driven teen ****-up.
I let my fears drag me on a leash.
I make the wrong choices in every situation
And I can never really sleep.

My meals consist of nothing.
I feel overweight and unclean.
I feel mostly suicidal
But I can't **** myself
I'm afraid of the unseen.

I am a walking paradox.
Tired but won't sleep.
Hungry but won't eat.
I am the embodiment of stupid
But isn't that every teen?

I'm an anxiety driven teen ****-up.
Just give up on me and leave.
Tear me up into pieces,
And run from the crime scene.

The mushroom
The unfolding

instant of creation (fertilisation)
not an instant separate from breakfast
It all flows down & out, flowing

but that instant:
not fire & fusion (fission) but a moment
of jellied ice, crystal, vegetative mating
merging in cool slime splendour
a crushing of steel & glass & ice

(instant in a bar; glasses clash, clink, collide)

far-out splendour

heat & fire are outwards signs of a
Small dry mating
~~~

event in a room
event in space
a circle
Magic rite
To call up the godhead
spirits, demons
The shaman calls:
“When radio dark night…”
We are eating each other.
~~~

The Voice of the Serpent
dry hiss of age & steam
& leaves of gold
old books in ruined
Temples
The pages break like ash

I will not disturb
I will not go

Come, he says softly

an old man appears &
moves in tired dance
amid the scattered dead
gently they stir
~~~

I received an Aztec wall
of vision
& dissolved my room in
sweet derision
Closed my eyes, prepared to go
A gentle wind inform’d me so
And bathed my skin in ether glow
~~~

Drugs are a bet w/ your mind
~~~

The cigarette burn’d
my fingertips
& dropp’d like a log
to the rug below
My eyes took a trip
to dig the chick
Crouch’d like a cat
at the next window
My ears assembled music
out of swarming streets
but my mind rebelled
at the idiot’s laughter
The rising frightful idiot laughter
Cheering an army of
vacuum cleaners
~~~

Mouth fills w/taste of copper.
Chinese paper. Foreign money. Old posters.
Gyro on a string, a table.
A coin spins. The faces.

There is an audience to our drama.
Magic shade mask.
Like the hero of a dream, he works for us,
in our behalf.

How close is this to a final cut?

I fall. Sweet blackness.
Strange world that waits & watches.
Ancient dread of non-existence.

If it’s no problem, why mention it.
Everything spoken means that,
it’s opposite, & everything else.
I’m alive. I’m dying.
~~~

1st wild thrush of fear

-A phone rings
There is a knock on the door.
It’s time to go.
No.

for leather accrues
The miracle of the streets
The scents & smogs &
pollens of existence

Shiny blackness
so totally naked she was
Totally un-hung-up

We looked around
lights now on
Top see our fellow travellers
~~~

I am troubled
Immeasurably
By your eyes

I am struck
By the feather
of your soft
Reply

The sound of glass
Speaks quick
Disdain

And conceals
What your eyes fight
To explain
~~~

She looked so sad in sleep
Like a friendly hand
just out of reach
A candle stranded on
a beach
While the sun sinks low
an H-bomb in reverse
~~~

Everything human
is leaving
her face

Soon she will disappear
into the calm
vegetable
morass

Stay!

My Wild Love!
~~~

I get my best ideas when the
telephone rings & rings. It’s no fun
To feel like a fool-when your
baby’s gone. A new ax to my head:
Possession. I create my own sword
of Damascus. I’ve done nothing w/time.
A little tot prancing the boards playing
w/Revolution. When out there the
World awaits & abounds w/heavy gangs
of murderers & real madmen. Hanging
from windows as if to say: I’m bold-
do you love me? Just for tonight.
A One Night Stand. A dog howls & whines
at the glass sliding door (why can’t I
be in there?) A cat yowls. A car engine
revs & races against the grain- dry
rasping carbon protest. I put the book
down- & begin my own book.
Love for the fat girl.
When will SHE get here?
~~~

In the gloom
In the shady living room
where we lived & died
& laughed & cried
& the pride of our relationship
took hold that summer
What a trip
To hold your hand
& tell the cops
you’re not 16
no runaway
The wino left a little in
the old blue desert
bottle
Cattle skulls
the cliche of rats
who skim the trees
in search of fat
Hip children invade the grounds
& sleep in the wet grass
’til the dogs rush out
I’m going South!